Apocalypse Fuel — 6 of 18

Volume - I Can't Belive It's Not Tracery

[The old method: it created substantial performance issues when heavily used across large lists.

To say pop (N - a list of texts):

sort N in random order;

now pop-count is 1;

say entry 1 in N.]

a-coming is a truth state that varies. a-coming is false.

To say *a: now a-coming is true.

To say pop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

now pop-count is Q;

let Z be entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

now Z is the substituted form of Z;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in Z;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

say "n ";

otherwise;

say " ";

end if;

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say Z;

[The following is phased out for now; it was intended to analyse strings for banned combinations of words, but it messed up a lot of stuff and made for performance issues.]

To decide what text is bancheck (N - a list of texts):

let FINE be 0;

let Z be "";

while FINE is 0 begin;

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

now Z is entry Q of N;

let BANS be bantrack;

add Z to BANS;

let BADSHIT be 0;

repeat through banlist begin;

let CHILL be 0;

let FB be the exclude entry;

if the number of entries in BANS >= the number of entries in FB begin;

repeat with B running through FB begin;

if B is not listed in BANS, now CHILL is CHILL + 1;

end repeat;

if CHILL is 0, now BADSHIT is BADSHIT + 1;

end if;

end repeat;

if BADSHIT is 0, now FINE is 1;

if BADSHIT > 0, remove Z from BANS;

end while;

decide on Z;

pop-count is a number that varies. pop-count is 1.

poplist is a list of texts that varies.

To say noreppop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

while Z is listed in poplist begin;

now Q is a random number between 1 and X;

now Z is entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

end while;

[if bannery is true, add Z to bantrack;]

add Z to poplist;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in Z;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

now Z is "n [Z]";

now a-coming is false;

otherwise;

now Z is " [Z]";

now a-coming is false;

end if;

end if;

say Z;

To say anreppop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

while Z is listed in poplist begin;

now Q is a random number between 1 and X;

now Z is entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

end while;

[if bannery is true, add Z to bantrack;]

add Z to poplist;

now Z is the substituted form of Z;

let F be character number 1 in Z;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

now Z is "an [Z]";

now a-coming is false;

otherwise;

now Z is "a [Z]";

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say Z;

[let Z be the number of entries in N;

if pop-count < Z begin;

now pop-count is pop-count + 1;

otherwise;

now pop-count is 1;

end if;

say entry pop-count in N.]

[Use with caution; this will fail loudly if the list is too small. I think it's not working properly; may need to do some tests.]

The temp-text is some text that varies.

To say holdpop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

now pop-count is Q;

say Z;

add Z to usednames;

now the temp-text is Z;

the current boss is some text that varies.

To say bosspop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

now pop-count is Q;

let Z be entry Q of N;

now Z is the substituted form of Z;

now the current boss is Z;

say Z;

To say uppop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

[if bannery is true begin;

now Z is bancheck N;

end if;]

let XZ be the substituted form of Z;

let XA be character number 1 in XZ;

let XB be XA in upper case;

replace character number 1 in XZ with XB;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in XZ;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

say "n ";

otherwise;

say " ";

end if;

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say XZ;

To say titlepop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

now Z is the substituted form of Z;

let XZ be Z in title case;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in XZ;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

say "n ";

otherwise;

say " ";

end if;

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say XZ;

To say allcapspop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

let XZ be Z in upper case;

say XZ;

To say downpop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

let XZ be the substituted form of Z;

let XA be character number 1 in XZ;

let XB be XA in lower case;

replace character number 1 in XZ with XB;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in XZ;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

say "n ";

otherwise;

say " ";

end if;

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say XZ;

To say alldownpop (N - a list of texts):

let X be the number of entries in N;

let Q be a random number between 1 and X;

let Z be entry Q of N;

now Z is the substituted form of Z;

let XZ be Z in lower case;

if a-coming is true begin;

let F be character number 1 in XZ;

if F matches the regular expression "<AEIOUaeiou>" begin;

say "n ";

otherwise;

say " ";

end if;

now a-coming is false;

end if;

say XZ;

usednames is a list of texts that varies. [usednames is {}. DOING THIS RUINS SHIT.]

blocknames is a list of texts that varies.

To say namepop (N - a list of texts):

let Z be the substituted form of "[pop N]";

let P be the number of entries in usednames;

if P > 0 and a random chance of 1 in 4 succeeds begin;

sort usednames in random order;

let Q be entry 1 from usednames;

remove Q from usednames;

say Q;

otherwise;

say Z;

add Z to usednames;

end if;

[this ruins everything and I can't tell how; try again a different way

say "ONE";

now pop-count is 1;

if the number of entries in usednames > 0 and a random chance of 1 in 2 succeeds begin;

say "TWO";

sort usednames in random order;

say "THREE";

let P be entry 1 of usednames;

say "FOUR";

add P to blocknames;

say "REPEAT (usednames is [usednames])[br]";

say P;

otherwise;

let Z be 0;

while Z is 0 begin;

sort N in random order;

let V be entry 1 in N;

let Q be the substituted form of V;

if Q is listed in blocknames begin;

say "BLOCK (blocknames is [blocknames])[br]";

do nothing;

otherwise if Q is listed in usednames;

add Q to blocknames;

say Q;

now Z is 1;

say "USED (blocknames is [blocknames])[br]";

otherwise;

add Q to usednames;

say Q;

now Z is 1;

say "NOT USED (blocknames is [blocknames])[br]";

end if;

end while;

end if;]

banlist is a table name that varies.

bantrack is a list of texts that varies.

bannery is a truth state that varies. bannery is false.

To say ban (foo - a table name):

now bannery is true;

now banlist is foo;

To say ban off:

now bantrack is {};

now bannery is false;

Sing-last is a number that varies.

[0 = neutral

1 = singular

2 = plural]

Plural-reckoned is a truth-state that varies. Plural-reckoned is false.

To say sing:

now sing-last is 1;

Sing-flip is a truth-state that varies. Sing-flip is false.

To say flipsing:

if sing-last is 2 begin;

now sing-last is 0;

now sing-flip is true;

end if;

To say flipoff:

if sing-flip is true begin;

now sing-last is 2;

now sing-flip is false;

end if;

To say plure:

now sing-last is 2;

now plural-reckoned is false;

To say is-are:

if sing-last is 2 begin;

say "are";

otherwise;

say "is";

end if;

now sing-last is 0;

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say reckon:

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say s:

if plural-reckoned is false and sing-last is 2, say "s";

now plural-reckoned is true;

now sing-last is 0;

To say neut:

now sing-last is 0;

To say *es:

if sing-last is 2, say "es";

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say *s:

if sing-last is 2 or sing-last is 0, say "s";

now plural-reckoned is true;

now sing-last is 0;

To say anti-s:

if sing-last is not 2, say "s";

now plural-reckoned is true;

now sing-last is 0;

To say *f:

if sing-last is 2, say "ves";

if sing-last is 1 or sing-last is 0, say "f";

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say *ies:

if sing-last is 2, say "ies";

if sing-last is 1 or sing-last is 0, say "y";

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say *en:

if sing-last is 2, say "en";

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say *man:

if sing-last is 1 or sing-last is 0, say "man";

if sing-last is 2, say "men";

now plural-reckoned is true;

To say *fe:

if sing-last is 1 or sing-last is 0, say "fe";

if sing-last is 2, say "ves";

now plural-reckoned is true;

to say *ices:

if sing-last is not 2, say "ex";

if sing-last is 2, say "ices";

now plural-reckoned is true;

now sing-last is 0;

to say *ix:

if sing-last is not 2, say "ix";

if sing-last is 2, say "ices";

now plural-reckoned is true;

now sing-last is 0;