"IFDB Spelunking 2" by Sam Kabo Ashwell Book 1 - Bibliography Use MAX_STATIC_DATA of 300000. Include Plurality-v8 by Emily Short. Include Basic Hyperlinks by Emily Short. Include Basic Screen Effects by Emily Short. Include Custom Library Messages by Ron Newcomb. Include Variable Time Control by Eric Eve. Include Undo Output Control by Erik Temple. Release along with cover art, a website, an interpreter, and the source text. The story genre is "Adventure". The release number is 0. The story headline is "or, Dungeons and Douchebags; divers Interactive Fictions, rendered". The story description is "A series of old and obscure parser games, munged together into a loosely-connected pile which I then snark about." After printing the banner text, say "Bring Out Your Dead release. See ABOUT and HELP for more information." [POLISH LIST AMUSING -check consistency on I/you -consistency on italics in commentary -better conclusion -proper HELP menu -full hisp descriptions? - full check on resetting games - WORSHIP IDOL TESTING LIST fix 'tie dog' in chain room? - can't replicate; check zero coins is still a thing somehow TAKE ONE stuff didn't become safe when moved from Take One? - can't replicate? TAKE ONE tapestry and crown disappear? more dress interactions: beard ] When play begins: say "Would you like to see trigger warnings? (Y/N)"; if the player consents begin; say "[b]Samhain[/b], a slasher-horror parody, contains a number of absurd situations where women get killed as the punchline, and a dismissive depiction of eating disorders.[p][b]Sweet Sixteen[/b], a pornographic game, contains descriptions of rape, incest, stalking and sexual abuse of a character who is a legal minor in the jurisdiction where the game is set. The [i]IFDB Spelunking[/i] version of the game does not include actual depictions of sex, but there are backstory elements, described in general terms, which may be disturbing.[p]Would you like to continue to the game? (Y/N)"; if the player consents begin; clear the screen; otherwise; say "OK. Take care."; wait for any key; follow the immediately quit rule; end if; otherwise; clear the screen; end if; When play begins: say "It's the oldest profession: wandering about and taking stuff. When the first australopithecenes shuffled out of the jungle and onto the savannah, it was probably because they thought there might be inventory items out there[note 144].[p]Four million years later, here you are, crawling alone into the clutter and gloom of the Interactive Fiction Database with nothing but a safety-line and an implicit holdall, in search of overlooked treasures[note 133]."; Abooting is an action out of world. Understand "about" as abooting. Carry out abooting: if the current game is Samhain begin; say "Ed Mueller[note 192] can be reached at edmueller@representative.com. He welcomes cash and pizza. No actual Icelandic waifs were harmed in the making of this game. Ed did get eyestrain, though, from staring at the screen so much, and carpal tunnel syndrome, for entirely different reasons (Footnote Six[note 103]). He wishes to thank, for no explicable reason, Wes Craven, Christopher Pike, Steve-O King, Jennifer Love Hewitt (and Thelma and Louise too!), Raymond Carver, William 'Fucking' Shatner, and Evil Willow.[p]This game may be distributed FREELY. As in, if you're planning to give it out in any way which facilitates financial gain for yourself, e-mail the author first for permission.[p]'Even smiling makes my face ache.' --Dr. Frank[p](To use the footnotes, simply type, for example, FOOTNOTE SIX at the prompt. To access the Special Edition SUPER BONUS BUILT-IN INTERACTIVE MEGA-GOLD HINT MENU, please type HINT at the prompt.)"; otherwise; say "IFDB Spelunking 2 is a sequel of sorts to IFDB Spelunking, by Joey Jones. That game, in turn, was prompted by a cover that I drew for [i]Cover Stories[/i], a comp that I organised; all of which is by way of pointing out that this is a strong contender for the most incestuous work of IF ever written.[p]All games referenced remain the property of their respective authors. They are necessarily partial re-implementations for the sake of commentary; they're not complete or accurate ports, and shouldn't be taken as fully representative of the originals. Many small liberties have been taken with the implementation, mostly to incorporate player conveniences.[p]Thanks to Joey Jones, Emma Joyce, Jacqueline Lott, Jason McIntosh, Marius Muller, Caelyn Sandel and the ClubFloyd crew for testing; to David Welbourn, for help with puzzles; and to various denizens of ifMUD, for code assistance. To Michael J. Roberts, founder of the Interactive Fiction Database, thanks for developing such a valuable and entertaining resource; to its authors and contributors, thanks for being so strange. As ever, an unpayable debt is due to Graham Nelson, Emily Short, and everyone who has contributed to the development of Inform over the years.[p]IFDB Spelunking 2 is released as incomplete, as part of Emily Short's Bring Out Your Dead event: https://itch.io/jam/bring-out-your-dead .[p]See HELP for a verb list."; end if; Helping is an action out of world. Understand "help" as helping. Carry out helping: say "IFDB Spelunking 2 is designed for a hyperlink-enabled interpreter, but is entirely playable without this capability. FOOTNOTE (NUMBER), which may be abbreviated to F or NOTE, refers to footnotes. Games are accessed with EXAMINE and OPEN. You are not obliged to explore every game; you can DISMISS any you'd rather not explore further.[p]At (almost) any time you can PULL your safety line to escape your current game. Inventory style may be changed with INVENTORY WIDE and INVENTORY TALL. Finally, you should absolutely keep track of your SCORE.[p]Additional verbs used by individual games include:[br]ATTACK[br]CALL[br]CHAIN TO[br]COOK[br]DIG[br]DISMOUNT[br]FILL[br]FUCK[br]KNOCK[br]RIDE[br]RING[br]SELL[br]SMOKE[br]WHIP[br]USE ON[p](Possibly you were looking for more help than that. I need to work out something.)"; When play begins: now the right hand status line is "[turn count]"; now the story viewpoint is second person; Book 2 - Indexical [Section 1 - Not for release Understand "* [text]" as a mistake ("[co]Noted.[/co]"). When play begins: follow the switch the story transcript on rule.] Part 1 - Text Subs To say i -- running on: say "[italic type]". To say /i -- running on: say "[roman type]". To say p -- running on: say "[paragraph break]". To say br -- running on: say "[line break]". To say b -- running on: say "[bold type]". To say /b -- running on: say "[roman type]". To say ob -- running on: say "[bracket]". To say cb -- running on: say "[close bracket]". To say co -- running on: say "[i][ob]"; To say /co -- running on: say "[no line break][cb][/i][line break]"; To say wait for any key: wait for any key. To say clear the screen: clear the screen. A thing can be masc or fem. A thing is usually fem. Part 2 - Notes and Links startroom is a room. The description of startroom is "A randomly-generated section of the tunnels of IFDB: a tangle of the obscure, the ancient and the weird[first time]. As a Spelunker, it is your habit to delve into these less-explored regions in search of adventure, entertaining anecdotes and (above all) valuable loot. Bending the rules of the games ever so slightly is part of the unwritten code.[p]The following tunnels are readily apparent; you would be well-advised to examine them carefully before plunging in[only]." A clicking hyperlink rule: if the current link number < 500, now glulx replacement command is "note [current link number]"; if the current link number is 500, now glulx replacement command is "x ket"; if the current link number is 501, now glulx replacement command is "x samhain"; if the current link number is 502, now glulx replacement command is "x school of death"; if the current link number is 503, now glulx replacement command is "x pantin"; if the current link number is 504, now glulx replacement command is "x sixteen"; if the current link number is 505, now glulx replacement command is "x dracula"; if the current link number is 506, now glulx replacement command is "x creepy"; if the current link number is 507, now glulx replacement command is "x take one"; if the current link number is 508, now glulx replacement command is "x snowman"; if the current link number is 509, now glulx replacement command is "x escape"; if the current link number is 514, now glulx replacement command is "dismiss sixteen"; if the current link number is 520, now glulx replacement command is "open ket"; if the current link number is 521, now glulx replacement command is "open samhain"; if the current link number is 522, now glulx replacement command is "open school of death"; if the current link number is 523, now glulx replacement command is "open pantin"; if the current link number is 524, now glulx replacement command is "open sixteen"; if the current link number is 525, now glulx replacement command is "open dracula"; if the current link number is 526, now glulx replacement command is "open creepy"; if the current link number is 527, now glulx replacement command is "open take one"; if the current link number is 528, now glulx replacement command is "open snowman"; if the current link number is 529, now glulx replacement command is "open escape"; notenumber is a number that varies. notenumber is 0. To say note (X - a number): if X is an index listed in the Table of Footnotes begin; choose a row with an index of X in the Table of Footnotes; if there is a shownumber entry begin; do nothing; otherwise; now notenumber is notenumber + 1; now the shownumber entry is notenumber; say "[set link notenumber][unicode 91][notenumber][unicode 93][end link]"; end if; end if; To say lady (X - a number): if X is listed in the ladylist or X is listed in the done-ladylist begin; do nothing; otherwise; add X to the ladylist; end if; Noting is an action out of world applying to one number. Understand "note [a number]" or "f [a number]" or "footnote [a number]" or "foot [a number]" or "notes [a number]" as noting. Carry out noting: take no time; if the number understood is a shownumber listed in the Table of Footnotes begin; say "[co][the response entry][/co]"; otherwise; say "[co]There is no note with that number.[/co]"; end if; Table of Footnotes index response shownumber 1 "Either ketamine wasn't all that popular back in 1984, or R.A. McCormack lived a very sheltered life." a number 2 "Pronounced Sao-wen, Samhain is the Celtic neopagan harvest festival that got syncretised (probably with a few intermediary steps) into Halloween. So this is either a smart neopagan talking about their religion, a schlocky Halloween game by someone who just thought the name was cool, or a schlocky Halloween game by a woo-woo pagan. Your best guess is option 2." 3 "The Ket trilogy, comprising Mountains of Ket, Temple of Vran and The Final Mission, included an Incentive for the first player to score 100%: [unicode 8356]400 worth of video equipment (unspecified). Given that the publisher was called Incentive Games, you rather suspect that they staked their existence on this gimmick. Apparently a great many British games of this period were designed around awarding a prize to the first person to beat them, following in the footsteps of Masquerade. Jimmy Maher has written a fair amount on this, claiming that the trend had disastrous effects on British game design in the period, since the point was to produce puzzles that would take a long time for anyone to solve, and which most people would never solve at all." 4 "Web sources differ as to whether the publication date was 1983 or 1984. Jimmy Maher would weep with joy at this discovery." 5 "Your French vocabulary fails you here. Google tells you that [/i]pantin[i] means [/i]puppet[i], dashing your dreams of [/i]The Electric Panties[i]." 6 "The strange and ? story of a thirty-year old (thirtysomething?) haunted by his mother. (At least, you hope that the literal translation is correct. Knowing the French, 'haunting' could be a euphemism for something unspeakable.)" 7 "There are 251 Eamon games in the IFDB, and the Eamon guy posts continually to Planet-IF. Nonetheless, my entire understanding of Eamon is that it's really old and closely resembles a Paul Allen Panks game." 8 "Wade Clarke is an enthusiast of old-school combat things, and a good-natured guy to boot; if he says this is crap, I'm disposed to believe him." 9 "What, only four games tagged French? That can't be right. Man, tags are underused." 10 "Oh boy. An AIF game from when you were three years old? You expect this to be both super-creepy and oddly prudish." 11 "Creepy: check. Though not yet super-creepy, by AIF standards." 12 "Laziest cyberpunk antagonist ever." 13 "Wait, you went to school in a blue suede suit? The 80s were a strange, strange time." 14 "You thought that what she was doing was smiling provocatively. Now I'm thinking of her as an endlessly zooming .gif of some sort." 15 "Apparently your name is Spike. Or possibly your penis is called Spike. Or you both are, which would make more sense." 16 "Clearly the game is as least as invested in brotacular douchebaggery as it is in the sex part." 17 "Sex and cigarettes? Edgy contemporary artist? Yeah, you wrote this approximate game when you were a teenager too. Well, okay, there were more drugs and less douchebaggery, and it pointlessly namedropped the Wu-Tang Clan rather than Ozzy, but you're still very glad you never finished the stupid thing." 18 "You were going to make a joke here about Relax With Heavy Metal, but then you went and Youtubed some Ozzy from about that period, and it doesn't actually sound like heavy metal. To your unschooled ear, pretty much indistinguishable from any given 80s hair band." 19 "So far this is the premise to the most boring mystery ever." 20 "Which is to say, [/i]Boy[i], [/i]War[i] and [/i]The Unforgettable Fire[i]. [/i]Joshua Tree[i] won't be released until next year." 21 "sic. Also, do 22-gauge shotguns even exist? Isn't .22 a rifle calibre? Okay, the Internet suggests that they exist but are rare oddball antiques. You suspect that this was not the author's intention." 22 "The placenames put us in South Side Chicago, in a diverse and well-to-do neighbourhood. What's the US age of consent, anyway? ...varies by state, all of them 16-18. But seventeen in Illinois, tsk tsk." 23 "'Uh, so, like, my bros bet me $500 that I couldn't bang you. Wanna make $250?'" 24 "The author has a website, principally concerning their amateur manga translations. They do not mention this game on the website." 25 "A defunct link." 26 "An author whose best-known work is the seminal [/i]Stupid Kittens[i]." 27 "Joining the women drinking beer is, alas, not an option." 28 "Wait, was this true even in 1986? (Yes, apparently it was.)" 29 "No, this is absolutely a differerent room. Well, a distinct room. Identity-wise. It's pretty pointless, though." 30 "In the magical land of Ket, you have to pick people up before looking at them. There's a weak joke about online dating here somewhere." 31 "Oh, what the balls. You can only examine things you're actually holding?" 32 "Cartography is not a very advanced science in Ket. You'd expect there to be more than one cluster of boulders at the edge of a mountain range." 33 "Aww, shit. You'd really hoped to have a freakin['] horse to ride into inappropriate places with, and now it looks as though you'll have to leave it behind." 34 "The Ket author almost never puts spaces after periods. In the already-ugly Spectrum font this is only mildly excruciating, but you refuse to inflict it on anyone else." 35 "Not going to tell you what it is. Sure is strange, though. Boy howdy." 36 "Given that you're working in an industry where connections are everything, and that you've apparently managed to hire and speak to your lead actress without remembering her name, you're not looking all that brilliant yourself." 37 "So we want to do this in one shot? We're trying to pull some Hitchcock nonsense on this archaesploitation flick we haven't even bothered to read?" 38 "Since when is -a an insufficiently feminine ending? You have to slap a diminutive on there as well?" 39 "Wait, wait, do we not even know the title? The working title? You know excessive drug use is pretty common in the movie industry, but this is ridiculous." 40 "For a cod-fantasy game, there's an awful lot of O.K. going around. " 41 "Nnnnnrgh. That's really, really beginning to grate. " 42 "Sadly, a rhetorical question." 43 "See, when a male archaeology professor walks around with a bullwhip on his belt, it's a functional tool and in no way an affectation. When a woman does it, it's a fashion accessory." 44 "So the CGI work is being done in real-time, concurrently with the action? I'm having trouble figuring out the rationale here." 45 "You keep thinking that, chuckles." 46 "This is getting annoying. Artifacts should be capitalised. Because they've got proper names." 47 "The delivery here is so profoundly flat that you suspect our narrator is not merely drug-addled, but anhedonic." 48 "Apparently that USE X ON Y trick with the whip was just string-matching. Jesus fucking christ, ADRIFT." 49 "Do we have to use the full name of the character every bloody time? It was kind of grating the first time around." 50 "All right, all right, we know what her name is by now, can you just cut it down to Indy? Please? Indiette? India? Indii?" 51 "OH GOD MAKE IT STOP" 52 "You can't accuse this game of excessively subtle pointers, at least." 53 "So she has to wear a stupid sexy-Halloween outfit; is working with a director who can't remember her name, hasn't read the script, has only a hazy idea of what he wants out of the scene, and holds her in total contempt; has to perform the entire scene in a single seamless shot; has to react to a CGI monster without a stand-in; and, within that seamless shot, does her own stunts. And she gets it done in [the gamecount of Take One in words] take[if the gamecount of Take One > 1]s[end if], without getting despondent or angry or asking any questions or kicking the director's face in? That is a freaking [/i]professional[i]." 54 "I am in my truck, hastening to Castle Dracula!" 55 "At last I will find my true destiny!" 56 "Quickly we reach the great heights of the mountains. Views are abundant!" 57 "Occasionally we see the castle, upwards, vigilant for the transit (travel?) of newbies. Vigilant? Why would it be like that? The castle is not an actual person!" 58 "I want to go and have an impression constructed in the style of the great French castles: a half-Klingon engineer, tall and pointy. Probably [/i]towers[i] tall and pointy. Okay, probably not [/i]I want to go[i], probably more that we're getting glimpses of it? Something something urgency that something." 59 "A mother is sitting - sentado must be sitting, gotcha - okay, you recognise asiento but don't know the meaning, and opposed? Opposite? A mother is sitting opposite." 60 "I wait for your instructions." 61 "She is dressed in black. A... shawl of black lace? covers her head? something freely something dudes. She is not free with the men? Except that [/i]sus[i] should be [/i]her[i]. She is free of her man? But surely [/i]hombros[i] is plural, and [/i]libremente[i] should be an adverb. Anyway. Her something is barely visible." 62 "The coach rumbles." 63 "The coach gallops and gallops at a great velocity, traversing the something." 64 "We are going very... something, climbing more high in the mountains." 65 "The... tumbling? like a tambourine? rattling coach continues implacably." 66 "My hands are pale, with big suave fingers. The hands of a musician, like... alone? something." 67 "Tell me what to do." 68 "I hope for - anticipate - your orders." 69 "What now?" 70 "Other happens more close to... eternity..." 71 "The coach goes something travel something the day." 72 "The... woman? old woman? looks at me with open eyes... Oh, such profound and obscure eyes, and she turns her head and recommences something..." 73 "An old piece, ... strong like for a big voyage. Ah! And it has uncomfortable seating." 74 "My travelling companion is single. Okay, that's probably not it. She is only my travelling companion." 75 "The door is Eva Perón! Or closed. Probably closed." 76 "My teeth, those are obscure eyes... Part-illuminated, but always sombre... I don't see the coach and horses, or your face! In a profound something you imagine you see your destination! An obscure habitation... Three people in something white, chilling with a something and a something (female titles?)." 77 "These young women... laugh nervously intermittently? Not in the voices of young innocents, it's much more sinister... No idea about that next bit. Something red... they have a something there. Yes, a something, ... something something meat?" 78 "The women rise.... Slowly they revolve. God, no! Their faces! Fear of the evil of Satan! Their white, dead faces are covered with blood! Saint Hysteria, Come For Me!" 79 "Press any key to continue." 80 "You simply see the face of an old woman... Hope! You see something new. In her face is a life of suffering. She divulges the appearance of a something sunrise." 81 "You see nothing but the horror!" 82 "My heart beats a martial rhythm in my fish. Chest. Like pectoral, probably." 83 "Like a band of something somethings me... How gloomy!" 84 "It's hard to breathe! Oh my agony." 85 "My head evanesces... The beats of my heart cease their parade... Peace now... Images of evanescence. I cannot be helped now... Images... of evanescence." 86 "The trance is broken! Everything is newly focused in my vision. Everything assumes a tranquilizing reality. The old woman sees with... weak sunrise. 'Sir, there is nothing secure in the future... only possibilities. This is for something in your future adventures.' She gives you a cross of silver on a something cord." 87 "A simple silver cross, of rectangular cross-section." 88 "A triumph of the erotic imagination. We are in awe, sir. Golf clap." 89 "Indeed. You love the totally vague thing she's done with her hair." 90 "Oh, man, triangle-of-identities shenanigans. These things always make you nauseous, as though you're shouting orders at your own lurching body from across a room." 91 "It wouldn't really be a dive into IF without a toilet. Usually they're more nicely-furnished than this, though." 92 "You're pretty sure that this is one element of an inventory-limit puzzle. You may not be able to get by with muscle and hitpoints, but at least you don't have to worry about [i]that[/i] kind of bullshit." 93 "Actually, you can, but only with the right thing, in the right place." 94 "This is important for an inventory-management puzzle, which you don't have to worry about quite so much." 95 "He won't follow you around unless you carry him, though. Lazy beast." 96 "Aie! Who the fuck is this Edgar guy?" 97 "Said footnote: [/i]'How [']Lectricity Cook Food', by Jeffy C. Much more popular with the judges than the science fair's only other experiment-entry, 'A Time Machine That Actually Fucking Works, So Screw You, Mr. Frauhenhoer, Who Said I Would Never Amount To A Goddamn Thing'.[i]" 98 "Said footnote: [/i]DESIGNATED VICTIM, an obscure jazz band from the 1930[']s and the cheerleader's favorite group, regrets the use of footnotes in this game, and implores the author to stop ripping off Infocom games (Footnote Two[note 99]).[i]" 99 "Said footnote: [/i]Hitchhiker's Guide, specifically. Thppppppppppppppt.[i]" 100 "Said footnote: [/i]Nick Cave did an album called *Murder Ballads*, on which he did a duet with PJ Harvey. For more information on PJ Harvey, consult www.bluetavern.org[note 104].[i]" 101 "Said footnote: [/i]Bjork, of the Bjorg. From the Kitten-Mover Quadrant.[i]" 102 "Said footnote: [/i]For Special Edition Director's Cut alternate endings, try KISS BJORK and TASTE BJORK.[i]" 103 "Said footnote: [/i]Ed's a chronic wanker.[i]" 104 "So dead, it's not even domain-squatted. Or possibly its non-existence was the joke in the first place?" 105 "The coach goes more slowly in travelling something of the day." 106 "Does this mean [i]Myst[/i], or the Stephen King novel [i]The Mist[/i], or what?" 107 "You count seven ellipses and four exclamation marks in this intro text. It feels like about a million." 108 "Obtuse angles. If they were all acute, it'd be a triangular box." 109 "How can there be more strong profanity than profanity? Isn't... well, okay, it's probably just Poster staggering around, fighting-drunk on his own self-righteousness and deploying the strong profanity tag at first sight of the word 'peener'." 110 "What the hell is the deal with this pond-as-vagina metaphor? I mean, okay, ponds are a cavity of sorts, but that's a pretty low standard. Ponds suggest... anaerobic mud, and frogs." 111 "Debts with bros apparently hold good in the afterlife." 112 "Truly, a gift for the obvious." 113 "Gyah. WE KNOW. It's in the room heading. STOP WASTING SPACE." 114 "You're unable to parse the significance of any of this, really. Were U2 edgy and hip in 1986? The amount of interest the author's showing in them suggests approval. But aren't A Flock of Seagulls interminably drippy? How is this all meant to figure into the PINK BED OF PINKNESS BECAUSE SHE IS A GURL?" 115 "Real subtle, dude. Reeeeeeal subtle." 116 "The common theme here seems to be un-macho, folk-influenced bands. So maybe that does fit in with the pinkness?" 117 "This after-school-special tone weirds you out as much as the game's creepy premise, honestly. In theory it makes sense that porn games can involve a certain kind of suspension of standard ethics and consequences and so forth, but that justification kind of falls apart if you decide to get all schoolmarmish about unrelated topics[first time][creep][only]." 118 "Really? Never would have guessed." 119 "Flinch." 120 "Which, coincidentally, is the name of your new band." 121 "That name seems vaguely familiar. Hmm. Also known as Mystery, edited InsideADRIFT for a little while. An ifWiki check suggests she was fairly prolific, releasing eighteen games in the first half of the aughts. Four of them have ADRIFT in the title; the only one you've played is... one of the Shadrick games? Which for some reason you associate with Introcomp even though neither of them were entrants?" 122 "Boo dinosaurs contemporary with cavemen. Where is your meticulously researched-in-one-hour hominid game[note 124], dammit? Also, turkiosaur? You suppose that 'about the size of a turkey' is one of the more overused phrases in popular dinosaury writing, but this seems... over-literal[note 127]." 123 "Either we are made of bark and twigs, or this is some kind of flesh-rending dire beaver." 124 "You suppose when the premise is that you're a caveman in caveman prison, you should suck it up and assume that this is basically going to be the Flintstones. But... dammit, you can't have a prison system without a hierarchical social order and the basic concept of impersonal justice and other things dependent upon a complex, populous society grounded on a preservable food surplus. Where is your Jared Diamond-approved hunter-gatherer band[note 125]?" 125 "Also, newsflash, having wheels is pretty pointless unless you also have domesticated beasts of burden, which, sidebar, is why the Mesoamericans only used them as toys, end sidebar, so wheels show up around something like 3500 BCE, pretty much around the same time as bronze and proto-writing and stuff (albeit in slightly different regions), and about seven thousand years after agriculture, so definitely Not Cavemen. God, you're such a pedantic asshole. Enjoy the fun little caveman game[note 126]. Also, one hour." 126 "ALSO sixty-six million years after the Cretaceous extinction event OKAY STOPPING NOW" 127 "Unless by 'turkiosaur' what it means is actually 'turkey', since those are technically dinosaurs. You sort of doubt it, though." 128 "So... a tiger-skin skirt-and-bikini combo, only with a little Red Cross motif? Kind of struggling here." 129 "A pet peeve: object descriptions that effectively just reiterate what you know from the object's name." 130 "Not implemented. And you'd briefly hoped there might be something that could arguably count as treasure in this game." 131 "Seriously, where did the whole director frame go? This makes absolutely no sense if we've got the director's POV and the demon is a CGI thing that's going to be edited in later." 132 "Hm. If we got points for this, does that make it a treasure? The maximum score here is 2, for the record." 133 "Of both figurative and literal varieties, if that wasn't clear. One advantage of not being an australopithecene is the ability to be smug about double meanings." 134 "This is, in fact, a well-formed and important command, but the game will pretend it isn't until you're in just the right situation." 135 "Someone needs to spend some more time in the right kind of bookshops, plainly." 136 "Do not be fooled here: Ket [/i]does[i] allow you to examine a few things, and at several points doing so is essential." 137 "Hold up, hold up. When she does something right, it's because we told her to do it, but when she does something wrong it's of her own volition, and we tell her off for it?" 138 "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of Redundant Sentences." 139 "Woo one-time actions in descriptions. Classy work, sir." 140 "The most helpful failure message ever." 141 "Holy shitballs, a player convenience? A player convenience that exposes some rickety-ass game logic, but still." 142 "The implication here is that you need to BUY something. This may not always be accurate, in context." 143 "'Wabe', a made-up word of Carroll's, either means the side of a hill or (as here) the grass plot around a sundial. Sundials and the odd names of their composite parts are a minor IF tradition." 144 "The capacity of early australopithecenes for speculative planning of this kind was probably not all that great, nor is it very likely that they would have had a working understanding of an 'inventory' of useful possessions to be carried around against indefinite future use. Also it was probably more of a patchy light woodland or bushveldt than true savannah. Further, 'profession' suggests a specialised individual livelihood, something that we don't have evidence for prior to early [/i]Homo[i] hand-axe manufacture, about two million years later; and given that the acquisition and retention of possessions in one form or another has since become a near-universal human behaviour, it hardly qualifies as a profession. These trifling details aside, you feel that the rhetorical device stands up rather well." 145 "A 7th-level cleric spell, you think." 146 "Except that this camera was presumably shut up in the room sometime around 1927, but the first 35mm SLR, the Kine Exakta, came out in 1936. This camera is, therefore, either an unknown early prototype or evidence of time-travel, and priceless either way. A treasure, even.[p]Boom! Suck it, 1986, we gots Wikipedia." 147 "Amnesia is to IFDB spelunking as chronic traumatic encephalopathy is to American football." 148 "Wait, wait, wait. That gun's been inside a wood-fired oven for long enough to burn through a wooden box. How has the ammunition not cooked off? To the Internet![p]...wow, firearm forums are all frequented either by creepy cops, creepy survivalists or creepy Confederate re-enactors[note 149], but they do know their subject to the nerdiest technical specs. And, yeah, wood-fired ovens get really hot really quickly, and those bullets should be in pieces, and the one in the chamber should have left a hole in something. Thank christ for game logic." 149 "It is a bad day on the Internet when the slavery apologists are the [/i]least[i] disturbing people you discover." 150 "I suppose this is just about reasonable. But the bullets should be [/i]visible[i]." 151 "This is the first time you've fired a gun, ever, you have no idea how guns work, and you're confronting an unexpected attacker. It should be weirder that that worked so easily." 152 "A security Línea, whom you assume to be a short, robust and bored-looking Chicana with a bullet-proof vest and no-nonsense ponytail bun." 153 "Varilla de Virtudes, third son of an impoverished Salamanca marquis, recounted his lurid yet morally instructive exploits in the New World in a series of allegorical novellas. He has an excellent moustache." 154 "Which - thanks to Jimmy Maher's Digital Antiquarian blog for this titbit of information - was the name under which The Quill was marketed in North America, admittedly without very much success." 155 "Nova's father is, evidently, so hungry that he teleported the steak out of your inventory through sheer force of will." 156 "And this, pretty much, nails down the approximate age of the author. Note that this isn't a fantasy about dragging a girl back to your own grimy wank-nest; it's more about having a friend whose [/i]big brother[i] has a grimy wank-nest, into which you might be able to sneak if you were very lucky." 157 "Probably for the best." 158 "It's probably not good that you find the sentiment less offensive than the lack of apostrophe before the 'cause'." 159 "It's rare that someone manages to offend both pagans and rednecks in the same sentence, but this is a credible first stab at it. Also, the generally accepted spelling is 'y'all'." 160 "Aleister Crowley, quoting Francois Rabelais. For Rabelais it was a satire; for Crowley a serious aim. Usually rendered 'do what thou wilt'; it's a bit odd to retain the archaic 'thou' but ditch the 'wilt'." 161 "Oh, standard Inform parser, how little you know of the ways of smut." 162 "It's a one-shot gag. Whether this is more or less merciful than the myriad pointlessly-implemented televisions that require SWITCH ON and WATCH, who can say." 163 "There's nothing quite so charming as blaming the player for your own stupid bugs." 164 "Sorry, I don't understand that. Try with other words." 165 "It takes ten seconds to pick up the stupid thing? Really?" 166 "Okay, clearly somebody needs help, but that's not the kind you had in mind." 167 "This message appears randomly, and if you don't happen to hear it your game will be irrevocably fucked later on. So, uh, it's a good thing that you did. Hooray." 168 "Sound advice for IF in general. Well, maybe not [/i]Conan Kill Everything[i]. In this particular case, though, it's more to do with the log." 169 "It is, indeed, a bad idea to just murder villagers. Though it's a bit worrying that there was a perceived need to point this out." 170 "Although this is a generic message that appears in various parts of the village, there is, in fact, an important puzzle here, one necessary to advance to the next section of the game. The cartographer is cold, so you need to provide him or her with some heating fuel." 171 "It may not seem like it, but you're on the right track. But the log is too big to fit in the Cartographer's fireplace, or something. This was not an era that acknowledged partial success." 172 "Eeeagh. Agh. Um.[p]Okay, the nicest thing you can say about this is that the abrupt and unmotivated shift in Nova's attitude from suspicion, to flirtation, to will-less zombie seems like pretty good evidence that the author has never made it past 'suspicion', and is uncertain about how other female attitudes towards men might work." 173 "Your llama, [guard dog], has your... who cares, you have a llama." 174 "Ket has a moderately harsh inventory limit, and finding a place in the caves where you can safely stash things is a non-trivial puzzle in its own right. Fortunately, modern sensibilities have freed you from such annoyances." 175 "This is pretty weak as a cryptic crossword clue, but you need a particular item to make it work as a password. For those without a basic knowledge of UK confectionery, Polo is a popular brand of mints, distinguished by their toroid shape. The wand has MINT written on it, although since it's one of the few items in the game that has any description whatsoever, it's not clear how you're meant to find that out." 176 "An old something in a carriage finally rises to your young protagonist of the castle. After a night where you had a big talk with the Count, he makes you not only a prisoner, but puts your life in peril! Escape your confinement and your unique obsession. If you can exit, get some good Scotch and write to your friends in England to prevent your discovery. The castle contains terrors of which the someones do not speak." 177 "Movement. Use the normal conventions of north, south, east, ouest for cardinal directions, and Up, Down. Important system commands: I inventories everything you're carrying, M admires your present location. Usually tripe soup, because the place can be... Cambrian." 178 "Communication with people. To talk in a limited way and respond to demands from people, use the comand 'decir', for example 'decir si', 'decir no'. If the parser doesn't understand, include in your query who you're talking to, for example 'say yes to coachman'." 179 "General. To use commands expressed in the normal form, always make the most simple thing the program can understand. For example 'look at the coach', 'climb into coach', etc. In the original game, there was a useful comand 'look carefully', which gave extra information about the location description. In this one it's omitted, and 'look' works exactly the same, and the information given is incorporated into descriptions." 180 "Other single-word orders you can use: 'Z' abbeviates wait', 'sleep, 'Yes', 'No', etc. To quit like using a rope, 'ponte' or 'quitate' an object. To GRAB parts: 1. Write the GRAB command. 2. If your interpreter uses it... okay, this is perhaps SAVE, because the next bit is about charging a previously saved game, which is a bit like the French 'telecharger'. " 181 "sic. Possibly it is a treatise about an inhabitant of the town of Leviath." 182 "You probably want to use LOOK UP 2 IN MANUSCRIPT." 183 "Music allows musical fun. Sadly, music is deactivated, so 'musica play' is not a permitted command. Similarly, with the comand 'style' you cannot change the game colours." 184 "Undo, restart, quit, help, version, credits. You can email Mapache or Urbatain for help or bug reports if you like, unless you're a dude. The Ultimate In Terror Is Here something!" 185 "It's rude, like an ill-educated pig." 186 "You can't." 187 "You carry nothing, dog!" 188 "None of the actions of your commune are excusable (a popular rallying-cry of Franco's supporters)." 189 "Don't be fooled - you're on the right track. You just need another item first." 190 "Despite the default message, you've got the right idea - you just need to try it elsewhere." 191 "Is this the author's idea of a broad scope of reading material, or does he just not know how that figure of speech is meant to work?" 192 "The real name of Marc Valhara. Or the other way around. Or neither." 193 "You can, in fact, but you have to open the door manually. It's a puzzle-timing thing." 194 "In case it was not entirely clear - which it wasn't - this indicates a successful transaction." 195 "You have everything you need to get past the village area, so I guess keep the random wrong-direction stuff up." 196 "The horse allows you to access more areas, but you will also need some expert directions if you're going to get far." 197 "The map was helpful, but the areas it shows are too far for you to walk to in a hurry. You'll need to find some transport." 198 "While you need to get beyond the village eventually, you're going to need to find and use some more stuff from here first." 199 "A bug in the original." 200 "Beloved misquote from Adam Cadre's I-0; by normal usage, it should not be taken to imply anything about the gender of its subject." 201 "Look, the author has chosen to draw a discreet veil over the exact nature of the bathroom stench. Let's respect their wishes, hmm?" 202 "You apply yourself to some dedicated nippletending. Unfortunately, nobody knows exactly whether that is a medical procedure - perhaps a species of outpatient care for masectomy patients - or something involving nipples and mixed drinks, and by the time you're done thinking about it the verb 'to tend' has become a meaningless garble, and 'nipple' is fast approaching a similar status.[p]Okay, fine, you try to grab her tits. It doesn't work. Full points for seductive technique, though." 203 "sic. 'Less you get your head blown off' may be the 1980s Chicago version of 'less than three.'" 204 "Let's be charitable here and assume that the masks are not adjustable and that the slave driver's head is a different size than yours." 205 "If you cannot translate this then you should probably just give up on this game entirely." 206 "Zeno of Elea's burglary career faced similar problems." 207 "You can't use the password unless you have previously heard it. This means that Mountains of Ket is now unwinnable. The eighties were a messed-up time." 208 "If you had to specify a particular point at which you became convinced that the author is just uncontrollably blethering, this would have to be it." 209 "This one will require the game's first instance of the wholly-lamentable USE X ON Y syntax." 210 "In case you ever lose your unlikely bondage parephanalia, the Cabinet of Dr. Creepbag will teleport it back. Also convenient if you ever misplace your genitalia." 211 "British English spelling, despite the oddly-specific US setting and the US-specific IF platform. Just a typo? Odd." 212 "This clumsily combines a crappy IF technique - putting actions in the room description - with a hacky cinematic one. Glorious." 213 "Ket goes out of its way to assist you in making the game unwinnable." 214 "You're on the right track here, but you don't have everything you need." 215 "So up to this point your reaction has mostly been 'what', but round about this point the random crazy not-quite-funny snarkage seems to have crossed the line into outright trolling. It's sort of like Panurge: he's a goofy fart-joke drunken clown, amusingly irreverent and inconsequential, and then he pulls something super-awful with every appearance of half-believing that it's just more goofy fart jokes." 216 "It's weird which of the references in this thing feel super-dated, and which just feel like part of the language." 217 "So... kind of like a stack, then?" 218 "Because this is exactly what a human would do." To say horsehint: if horse is ridden begin; if the old map is examined begin; say "[note 195]"; otherwise; say "[note 196]"; end if; otherwise; if the old map is examined begin; say "[note 197]"; otherwise; say "[note 198]"; end if; end if; Dismissing is an action applying to one thing. Understand "dismiss [something]" as dismissing. Check dismissing: if the noun is not a game begin; say "[co]You can only dismiss games, and must do so from the starting tunnel.[/co]"; stop the action; end if; Carry out dismissing a game (called foo): say "Triage is an essential element of the art of IFDB spelunking. You mark off that tunnel with your personal dismissal mark, and put it out of your mind."; remove foo from play; Part 3 - Library Messages To decide which snippet is what was misunderstood: (- (((wn - 1) * 100) + (WordCount() - 2)) -) . To decide which snippet is the misunderstood word: (- (((wn - 1) * 100) + 1) -) . To decide if the misunderstood word is known elsewhere: (- (wn--, NextWord() ~= 0) -) . Table of custom library messages (continued) library-action library-message-id library-message-text -- 10 "[m10]" -- 30 "[m30]" -- 38 "[m38]" -- 49 "[m49]" -- 59 "[m59]" Taking action 10 "[take10]" To say m10: if the current game is Mountains of Ket or the current game is Take One or the current game is Great Escape begin; say "[m38]"; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "[co]The parser won't even accept input if there's no text entered. Is this a good thing? Discuss.[/co]"; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "¿Perdón?"; otherwise; say "I beg your pardon?"; end if; To say take10: if the current game is Big Creepy House begin; say "I think about taking [the noun] with me, but it's probably better off where it is."; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "You can't."; otherwise if the current game is Take One; say "Indianette Jones[indywhine] can't take [the noun]!"; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "Difícilmente podría llevarme eso."; otherwise; say "[That's-They're of the library message object] hardly portable."; end if; To say m30: if the current game is Mountains of Ket begin; say "I'm sorry, but I don't know what a ['][the misunderstood word]['] is."; otherwise if the current game is Samhain; say "Off in the distance, the choir of beautiful yet invisible angels that watches over you constantly-- they gasp. Their leader comforts them. 'It's okay,' he says. 'Sometimes this tactless brute will indeed use the word ['][the misunderstood word]['], but we are mature enough to ignore that.' Then he cuts the cheese, and they all giggle."; [This works rather imperfectly.] otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "You can't."; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "No veo eso que dices."; otherwise if the current game is Take One; say "Indianette Jones sees no such thing."; otherwise if the current game is Great Escape; say "You see no such thing."; otherwise; say "[We] can't see any such thing."; end if; To say m38: if the current game is Mountains of Ket begin; say "Sorry, but I don't know how to do that."; otherwise if the current game is Samhain; say "[m30]"; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "Sorry, I don't understand that.[br]Try some different words."; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "Lo siento, no entiendo eso. Prueba con otras palabras[note 164]."; otherwise if the current game is Big Creepy House; say "I didn't understand that sentence."; otherwise if the current game is Take One; say "I don't understand what you mean!"; otherwise if the current game is Great Escape; say "Ooougghh?"; otherwise; say "That's not a verb I recognise."; end if; To say m49: if the current game is Mountains of Ket begin; say "I'm sorry, but I don't know what a [']['] is."; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "You can't."; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "¿Qué tengo que [recap of command]?"; otherwise if the current game is Take One or the current game is Great Escape; let N be indexed text; let N be "[recap of command]"; let Q be N in sentence case; say "[Q] what?"; otherwise; say "What do you want[if the person asked is not the player] [the person asked][end if] to [recap of command]?"; end if; To say m59: if the current game is Mountains of Ket begin; say "[m38]"; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "Sorry, I don't understand that.[br]Try some different words."; otherwise; say "You must supply a noun."; end if; Xyzzying is an action applying to nothing. Understand "xyzzy" as xyzzying. Instead of xyzzying: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "[m38]"; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "[m38]"; -- Big Creepy House: say "[b]At End of Road[/b][br]I am standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully.[p]...Snap out of it, self! This is no time to be daydreaming!"; -- Take One: say "I'm sorry, but XYZZY doesn't do anything special in this game!"; -- Great Escape: say "I'm sorry, but XYZZY doesn't do anything special in this game!"; -- nongame: say "Magic has helped you in the past, but only within games."; -- otherwise: say "That's not a verb I recognise."; Instead of jumping: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "[m38]"; -- Dracula: say "Eso no me ayudará."; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "[m38]"; -- Big Creepy House: say "I jump on the spot, fruitlessly."; -- ARGH's: say "Wheee-boinng."; -- Take One: say "Wheee-boinng."; -- nongame: say "Jumping is inadvisable when negotiating caves."; -- otherwise: say "You jump on the spot, fruitlessly."; Instead of singing: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "[m38]"; -- Dracula: say "Canto fatal."; bandname 1; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "[m38]"; -- Samhain: say "A singing pumpkin? How cuuuuuute."; -- Big Creepy House: say "My singing is abominable."; -- ARGH's: say "You sing a little song."; -- Take One: say "Indianette Jones[indywhine] sings a little song."; -- nongame: say "You subvocalise a few tuneless lines. The tunnels eat the echo."; -- otherwise: say "[m38]"; An unimplement is a kind of thing. An unimplement is scenery. Instead of doing something with an unimplement: say "[co]That's unimplemented, it would appear.[/co]"; Instead of doing something when the second noun is an unimplement: say "[co][The second noun] is unimplemented, it would appear.[/co]"; Part 4 - Scoring The File of Scoring is called "ifdb2achieves". The File of Deaths is called "ifdb2deaths". The File of Bandnames is called "ifdb2bands". The File of Popstars is called "ifdb2stars". The File of Bathrooms is called "ifdb2toilets". [I'm not, at present, supporting multiple-playthrough achievements. In fact, the only thing we're dealing with for now are deaths, which are far and away the most likely thing to be ruined by UNDO.] [To do: popcount, bandname, bathcount] When play begins: write File of Deaths from Table of Deaths; write File of Bandnames from Table of Awesome Band Names; write File of Popstars from Table of Popstar Counting; write File of Bathrooms from Table of Visited Bathrooms; write File of Scoring from Table of Stable Triumph; To deathify (N - a number): if there is an count of N in the Table of Deaths begin; choose a row with a count of N in the Table of Deaths; now the achieved entry is true; end if; To accomplish (N - an accomplishment): now N is activated; A thing can be valuable. A thing is usually not valuable. A thing has some text called epilogue. This is the scorekeeper rule: let fin be false; let Z be 10 - number of games in startroom; if Z is 10, now fin is true; say "You have explored [the number of played games in words] game[if the number of played games is not 1]s[end if], and have finished or dismissed [Z in words].[br]"; if the player encloses a safe valuable thing or fin is true begin; say "[br][b]You have salvaged [the number of safe valuable things] of 12 treasures:[/b]"; repeat with N running through safe valuable things begin; say "[br][a N][if fin is true], [the epilogue of N][end if]"; end repeat; let XPQ be the number of safe valuable things; choose a row with a count of XPQ in the Table of Score Ranks; let fiddledee be the scorerank entry; say "[br]This gives you the rank of [fiddledee]."; end if; if there is an achieved of true in the Table of Deaths begin; say "[b]Deaths and failures:[/b]"; repeat through the Table of Deaths begin; if the achieved entry is true begin; say "[br]"; say the death entry; end if; end repeat; say "[br]"; end if; if there is an activated accomplishment begin; say "[br][b]Triumphs and accomplishments:[/b]"; repeat with X running through activated accomplishments begin; say "[br][the description of X]"; end repeat; say "[br]"; end if; The scorekeeper rule is listed instead of the print final score rule in for printing the player's obituary. The scorekeeper rule is listed instead of the announce the score rule in the carry out requesting the score rules. Table of Score Ranks count scorerank 0 "Boundaries-of-Art Definition Warrior" 1 "Noob with a Kickstarter" 2 "80s Revanchist" 3 "Honorary Faceless-American" 4 "Database Stalwart" 5 "Twine Crusader" 6 "Rugged Mimesis Herder" 7 "Fourth-Wall Freerunner" 8 "Forking Paths Gardener" 9 "Time Caver" 10 "Muse of the Tight Spot" 11 "High Lord Guardian of the Unbounded Holdall" 12 "Compulsive Completist" Table of Popstar Counting count popstar (indexed text) achieved 1 "Jewel" false 2 "Nick Cave" false 3 "Tori Amos" false 4 "Bjork" false 5 "Ozzy Osbourne" false 6 "Britney Spears" false To say popstar (N - a number): choose a row with a count of N in the Table of Popstar Counting; let popcount be 0; if the achieved entry is false begin; now popcount is popcount + 1; accomplish accomp2; now the achieved entry is true; end if; To say bathe (N - a number): let bathcount be 0; choose a row with a count of N in the Table of Visited Bathrooms; if the achieved entry is false begin; now bathcount is bathcount + 1; accomplish accomp5; now the achieved entry is true; end if; Table of Visited Bathrooms count achieved 1 false 2 false 3 false 4 false To bandname (X - a number): if X is count listed in the Table of Awesome Band Names begin; choose a row with a count of X in the Table of Awesome Band Names; if the achieved entry is false begin; say "[br][co][one of]Coincidentally, [or]As it happens, [or]Actually, [or][or][at random][the band entry] is the name of your new [one of]indie[or]post-rock[or]underground hip-hop[or]ambient heavy metal[or]nu-trad folk[or]bluegrass[or]atheist gospel[or]grindcore[or]queer edge[or]acoustic trance[at random] band.[/co]"; accomplish accomp4; now the achieved entry is true; end if; end if; Table of Awesome Band Names count band (indexed text) achieved 1 "Canto Fatal" false 2 "The Avaricious Mitts" false 3 "Designated Victim" false 4 "Lovely Cranny" false 5 "Dude Says Brusquely" false 6 "Deep Yoghurt" false 7 "A Beaver Falls" false Table of Stable Triumph count a number with 15 blank rows An accomplishment is a kind of thing. An accomplishment has a number called backup. The backup of an accomplishment is usually 0. An accomplishment can be activated. An accomplishment is usually not activated. accomp1 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp1 is "your very first murder". The backup of accomp1 is 1. accomp2 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp2 is "encountered [poppy]". The backup of accomp2 is 2. To say poppy: let popcount be 0; repeat through the Table of Popstar Counting begin; if the achieved entry is true, now popcount is popcount + 1; end repeat; say "[popcount in words] popular musician[if popcount > 1]s[end if]"; accomp3 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp3 is "avoided slavery without bloodshed". The backup of accomp3 is 3. accomp4 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp4 is "[allbands]". The backup of accomp4 is 4. To say allbands: let X be a list of indexed text; repeat through the Table of Awesome Band Names begin; if the achieved entry is true, add the band entry to X; end repeat; let N be the number of entries in X; say "discovered [N in words] band name[if N > 1]s[end if]: [X]"; accomp5 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp5 is "discovered [confound], thus fulfilling your week's quota". The backup of accomp5 is 5. To say confound: let bathcount be 0; repeat through the Table of Visited Bathrooms begin; if the achieved entry is true, now bathcount is bathcount + 1; end repeat; say "[if bathcount > 1][bathcount in words][otherwise]a[end if] pointless bathroom[if bathcount > 1]s[end if][if bathcount > 0]"; accomp6 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp6 is "escaped the Gremlin's Futile Maze". The backup of accomp6 is 6. accomp7 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp7 is "suffered amnesia". The backup of accomp7 is 7. accomp8 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp8 is "the Library of Alexandria Award for crimes against literature". The backup of accomp8 is 8. accomp9 is an accomplishment. The description of accomp9 is "healed at least one of Britney's ills". The backup of accomp9 is 9. Before undoing an action: write File of Deaths from Table of Deaths; write File of Bandnames from Table of Awesome Band Names; write File of Popstars from Table of Popstar Counting; write File of Bathrooms from Table of Visited Bathrooms; blank out the whole of Table of Stable Triumph; repeat with N running through accomplishments begin; if N is activated begin; let Q be the backup of N; choose a blank row in the Table of Stable Triumph; now the count entry is Q; end if; end repeat; write File of Scoring from Table of Stable Triumph; After undoing an action: read File of Deaths into Table of Deaths; read File of Bandnames into Table of Awesome Band Names; read File of Scoring into Table of Stable Triumph; read File of Popstars into Table of Popstar Counting; read File of Bathrooms into Table of Visited Bathrooms; repeat with N running through accomplishments begin; let Q be the backup of N; if Q is a count listed in the Table of Stable Triumph begin; now N is activated; otherwise; now N is not activated; end if; end repeat; Table of Deaths count death (indexed text) achieved 1 "fled in ignominy from a shotgun-wielding parent" false 2 "shotgun fired point-blank into genitalia" false 3 "sword-thrust through the back, as punishment for preferring beer over bureaucracy" false 4 "slain by a goblin guard" false 5 "lynched as a pervert by irate villagers" false 6 "multiple shotgun slugs centre-mass, courtesy Nova Tilland" false 7 "caught by a CGI demon" false 8 "overwrought asphyxiation (?) caused by looking an old woman in the eye" false 9 "drowned in an underground lake" false 10 "eaten by the tentacle monster of the underground lake" false 11 "slain by a Mad Monk while stealing religious relics" false 12 "eaten by a dragon" false 13 "fell hundreds of feet onto rocks" false 14 "thunderbolted by a minor deity" false 15 "crushed by Delphia's ogre bodyguard" false 16 "musically headsploded by Björk, in self-defence" false 17 "the electric chair, for murdering Björk" false 18 "head bitten off by Ozzy Osbourne" false 19 "shotgun decapitation" false 20 "food poisoning from dinosaur meat" false 21 "kidnapped by fetishy slave-driver, then mindwiped by some kind of evil mist" false 22 "fatally knifed by fetishy slave-driver, while attempting escape" false 23 "stoned to death by superstitious cavemen" false To say frustration: say "[one of]This is why the IF Archive is a really important thing. And why people should use it, not just link to their own site from IFDB[run paragraph on].[or]Oh for fuck's sake. Archive your games, people[run paragraph on].[or]NNNRGH. Jesus pigfrottage Christ, WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND HERE[run paragraph on].[stopping]"; Part 5 - Endgame Every turn when the player is in startroom: if there are exactly 0 games in startroom begin; say "And that was the last one. Time to leave."; carry out the endgame; end if; To carry out the endgame: end the story finally. Part 6 - Inventory Management Inventory listing style is a kind of value. The inventory listing styles are tall and wide. Current inventory listing style is an inventory listing style that varies. This is the new inventory rule: if the current game is Dracula begin; say "Llevo conmigo:[br][if the player carries nothing and the player wears nothing]Nada en absoluto.[br][end if]"; otherwise; issue library message taking inventory action number 2; say ":"; follow the display inventory rule; say "[br]"; end if; The new inventory rule is listed instead of the print standard inventory rule in the carry out taking inventory rules. Understand "inventory [inventory listing style]" as requesting styled inventory. Requesting styled inventory is an action applying to an inventory listing style. Carry out requesting styled inventory: now current inventory listing style is the inventory listing style understood. Report requesting styled inventory: say "Inventory listing is now set to [current inventory listing style]." This is the display inventory rule: if the current inventory listing style is tall begin; list the contents of the player, with newlines, indented, including contents, giving inventory information, with extra indentation; otherwise; list the contents of the player, giving inventory information, as a sentence, including contents; end if; Book 3 - The Games Part 0 - Game-Management Tools A game is a kind of container. A game is usually scenery. A game is usually openable and closed. A game can be played or unplayed. A game is usually unplayed. A game has some text called precis. A game has a room called saferoom. A game can be entitled or unentitled. A game is usually entitled. Rule for printing the name of a room when the current game is unentitled: do nothing. nongame is an unentitled game. The current game is a game that varies. The current game is nongame. Instead of entering a game (called foo): try opening foo. Before opening a game (called foo): now the current game is foo; After opening a game (called foo): now foo is closed; now foo is played; do nothing. After looking in startroom: repeat with N running through games in startroom begin; say the precis of N; say "[p]"; end repeat; Concluding something is an activity on objects. Rule for concluding a game (called foo): follow the conclusory rule. This is the conclusory rule: remove the current game from play; now every thing enclosed by the player is safe; now the current game is nongame; now the story viewpoint is second person; now the player is in startroom; if there are no games in startroom, carry out the endgame; The player carries a safety line. The description of the safety line is "For every labyrinth a thread. This line, slender and inobtrusive, has got you out of some unpleasant situations before, when maps and compasses and heavier gear failed. A sharp pull on it should trigger the auto-ascender on the far end, allowing you to cheat death or gank inventory from games even if you can't finish them." The hisp of safety line is "línea de seguridad[note 152]". Understand "linea" or "seguridad" or "linea de seguridad" or "cord" or "rope" as safety line. Instead of dropping safety line: say "It's not much of a safety line if you abandon it." Instead of putting safety line on something: try dropping safety line. Instead of inserting safety line into something: try dropping safety line. Escaping something is an activity on objects. Rule for escaping a game: follow the escapology rule. This is the escapology rule: let X be the list of unsafe things carried by the player; if the number of entries in X > 0, say "[br][co]You are forced to abandon [X with definite articles][first time]. You can always come back for it, though[only].[/co]"; wait for any key; repeat with Q running through X begin; move Q to the saferoom of the current game; if Q is strong horse, now strong horse is not ridden; end repeat; now the current game is played; now the current game is nongame; now the story viewpoint is second person; now the player is in startroom; if the player does not wear an outfit, now the player wears caving gear. Retreating something is an activity on objects. Rule for retreating a game: follow the retreatage rule. This is the retreatage rule: now the current game is played; now the current game is nongame; now the story viewpoint is second person; now every thing enclosed by the player is safe; now the player is in startroom; Instead of pulling the safety line: say "[one of]Time to go[or]Yeah, enough of this[or]Bored now[or]You don't have time to dick around in this kind of game[or]Enh[or]Your interest has flagged[as decreasingly likely outcomes]. A sharp tug on the line triggers the auto-ascender, and you are hauled back to safety."; carry out the retreating activity with the current game; Instead of pulling the safety line when the current game is nongame: say "You don't intend to leave this section of the tunnels until you've either completed or dismissed all of the games."; Chapter 2 - Objects In Games A thing is either acquired or unacquired. A thing is usually unacquired. A thing has a room called origin. Every turn: while the player carries an unacquired thing begin; let Z be a random unacquired thing carried by the player; now Z is acquired; now the origin of Z is the location of the player; end while; while the player wears an unacquired thing begin; let Z be a random unacquired thing worn by the player; now Z is acquired; now the origin of Z is the location of the player; end while; A thing is either safe or unsafe. A thing is usually unsafe. safety line is safe. A room can be watery. A room is usually not watery. A thing has some text called hisp. The hisp of a thing is usually "". A thing has some text called hisdesc. The hisdesc of a thing is usually "". A thing can be burnable or non-burnable. A thing is usually non-burnable. A thing can be tiny. A thing is usually not tiny. An outfit is a kind of thing. An outfit is usually wearable. [The player must always wear one outfit; if they wear one, they remove their current one first. Silent exchanges take place the first time a game is opened, if it has a dedicated outfit.] A person can be prudish or easy-going. A person is usually prudish. An animal is usually easy-going. The player is easy-going. Before wearing an outfit (called foo): if the player wears an outfit (called blah) begin; say "(first removing [the blah])"; if a prudish person is visible begin; try taking off blah; stop the action; otherwise; now the player carries blah; continue the action; end if; end if; Instead of taking off an outfit in the presence of a prudish person: if the current game is Take One begin; say "[co]Not that kind of movie.[/co]"; otherwise; say "[co][if the current game is Samhain]It might seem like a good time, but given Ed Mueller's deranged imagination, it'd probably just lead to humiliation and a 90s pop-culture reference[otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen]Moving a little fast there. Which is usually the idea, in AIF, but in this case you really don't want to[otherwise]Not that kind of game[run paragraph on][end if].[/co]"; end if; Instead of taking off an outfit: say "[co][if the current game is Sweet Sixteen]Moving a little fast there. Which is usually the idea, in AIF, but in this case you really don't want to.[otherwise]There are tunnels - well-known, forgiving, tolerably warm - into which you would venture naked, but it'd be foolish to do so on a random dive. (You could just change into a different outfit, though, if you have one.)[end if][/co]" your caving gear is an outfit. the player wears caving gear. the description of caving gear is "A helmet, plastered with stickers. Three-quarter-length pants with minimal, zippered pockets and lots of flexibility about the hips. Approach shoes, a compromise between the climber's need to wedge a rigid foot into a hold and the hiker's need for stability, traction and comfort. The tank-top requires no such half-measures: freedom of movement and the vanity of showing off wicked upper-back muscles are in perfect accord." Understand "pants" or "shoes" or "approach shoes" or "three-quarter" or "tank top" or "top" or "clothes" or "clothing" or "tank-top" as caving gear. the hisp of caving gear is "espeleología equipo". Understand "equipo" or "espeleologia" or "espeleologia equipo" as caving gear. upper back muscles are part of yourself. The description of upper back muscles is "Routinely climbing out of deep, steep holes has left you with the world's prettiest upper back and shoulders, and its ugliest hands." Instead of pulling upper back muscles: say "You don't know how far you are away from a reputable sports therapist. No thanks." the hisp of upper back muscles is "músculos superior de la espalda". Understand "upper-back" or "musculos" or "espalda" or "shoulders" or "shoulder" as upper back muscles. the player wears your caving helmet. Understand "sticker" or "stickers" as caving helmet. The description of caving helmet is "Your helmet is adorned with mementos of past dives, [if the player wears caving helmet]but you can't really see any of them when you're wearing it[otherwise]such as [one of][i]NARRATIVE HAS A POSSE[/i][or][i]postapocalypse cowboy cheesecake[/i][or][i]When Help Collides[/i][or][i]That Belongs In A Trophy Case![/i][or][i]invent[unicode 8734]ry[/i][or][i]SF Speedrun [']02[/i][at random] or [one of]a plain black-and-white oval that reads, simply, MAMMOTH[or][i]PARSE FREE OR DIE[/i][or][i]Do You Even Deadlift The Phone Booth, Bro[/i][or]a completion badge from a Fire/Liquid/Rope ultra-triathlon[or]an tag that officially licenses you to practice Lavori d'Aracne in Washington State[at random][end if][first time].[p]It doesn't have a light on it. Finding your own light sources is kind of a religion among true spelunkers[only]." The hisp of caving helmet is "casco de espeleología". Understand "casco" or "espeleologia" as caving helmet. an outfit can be unsoiled or soiled. an outfit is usually unsoiled. To wardrobe-change (foo - an outfit): if foo is unsoiled begin; if the player wears an outfit (called blah) begin; now the player carries blah; end if; now the player wears foo; now foo is soiled; end if; Instead of examining the player when the current game is nongame: say "You are a person of flexible qualities. In the deeps between the games, you tend towards something moderately youthful, with long limbs and muscle development concentrated in the upper back, core and forearms." Definition: a thing is cleflike if it unlocks something. Definition: a thing is locklike if something unlocks it. Does the player mean unlocking a locklike thing with a cleflike thing: it is likely. Does the player mean locking a locklike thing with a cleflike thing: it is likely. Part 1 - Mountains of Ket To reset Mountains of Ket: now the elixir-count is 0; [TODO: endgame The hole disappears ] A room has some text called helptext. The helptext of a room is usually "I'm as stumped as you." Check helping when the current game is Ket: say "[first time][co][/i]Mountains of Ket[i] is a very difficult game, made more difficult here because combat is largely disabled. The simplest approach is probably a walkthrough, such as may be found at http://www.gamesover.com/walkthroughs/Mountains_of_Ket.txt .[/co][only][br]"; say the helptext of the location of the player; stop the action. Talpsing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "say talps" or "talps" as talpsing. Instead of talpsing when the current game is Mountains of Ket, say "Are you talking to yourself[if talps-heard is true][note 134][end if]?"; Instead of talpsing: if talps-heard is true begin; say "That doesn't seem to do anything here."; otherwise; say "Say what?"; end if; Poloing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "polo" or "say polo" as poloing. Instead of poloing when the current game is Mountains of Ket, say "Are you talking to yourself[if the player is in ket-deadend][note 189][end if][if the player carries wand][note 190][end if]?"; Instead of poloing when the current game is Mountains of Ket and the player is in Ket-deadend and the player carries wand: say "A 4['] hole appears in the wall."; the hole disappears in 1 turn from now; change the east exit of Ket-deadend to Ket-chamber; change the west exit of Ket-chamber to Ket-deadend; At the time when the hole disappears: say "The hole disappears[br]"; change the east exit of Ket-deadend to nothing; A thing has a number called cost. The cost of a thing is usually 0. mountains of ket is an unentitled game in startroom. The precis of ket is "[set link 500][bold type]Mountains of Ket[roman type][end link] [note 1] by R. A. McCormack (1984)[line break] 2/5 stars". The description of Mountains of Ket is "[bold type]Mountains of Ket[roman type][line break]by R. A. McCormack[line break]Episode 1 of Ket trilogy [note 3][line break]Cave crawl[line break]1984 [note 4][p]**[line break]A decent specimen of the 1980[']s dungeon crawl. The objective is to cross under a mountain range, but collecting treasures gives extra points. Two-word parser with a small vocabulary and no EXAMINE command. Randomized combat that's usually but not always avoidable. Ample opportunity to render the game unwinnable. Consulting the room-based HELP text is essential to solving some puzzles.[br]-- Carl Muckenhoupt[p][bold type]Tags:[roman type] built-in hints (226), dragon (92), rpg (308), sound (176), two-word parser (622)[first time][p][co]World of Spectrum has archived numerous scans of advertisements and reviews, some of which have the sort of dull, stilted praise that I'd expect from this era, while others are actually sort of critical. Apparently two-word parsers and minimal descriptions sucked even in 1984.[paragraph break] Much of the archived material involves pleas from hopelessly stuck players. One claims to have been stuck on it for two years. Still: [i]treasures[/i].[/co][only][p][set link 520][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]" Rule for listing nondescript items: if the current game is Mountains of Ket begin; say "Around us we can see:[br]"; list the contents of the location, with newlines, indented, with extra indentation, giving brief inventory information, not listing concealed items, suppressing all articles, listing marked items only; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "You can also see:[br]"; list the contents of the location, with newlines, indented, with extra indentation, giving brief inventory information, not listing concealed items, suppressing all articles, listing marked items only; otherwise; continue the action; end if; To say OKwhine: say "[one of][or][or][note 40][or][or][note 41][or][stopping]"; A thing can be sharp. A thing is usually not sharp. a trusty sword is a masc sharp thing. The description of trusty sword is "You've seen dozens of these around one dungeon or another: the Trusty brand First Sword line, mass-produced in China and consumed like disposable chopsticks. A straight, double-edged blade about two and a half feet long, with a basic crosspiece hilt. Light enough to be wielded (or at least waved around in an arguably-threatening manner) by someone who didn't put too many points into STR, sharp enough to cause injury. Makes little odds to you: you're a looter, not a fighter.[p]It could plausibly be used to injure or threaten an unarmed and inexperienced opponent, but will bend, snap and notch if you try to use it in sustained combat, or as a tool." The hisp of trusty sword is "fiel espada". Understand "fiel" or "espada" as trusty sword. some coins are a tiny thing. The hisp of coins is "monedas". Understand "monedas" as coins. some coins has a number called moneynum. The moneynum of coins is 2. The description of coins is "[if the current game is not Mountains of Ket]Adventurers of the sword-and-hitpoints sort don't go in much for detail; consequently, the shopkeepers in those regions mill coin like it was going out of style, leaving you with foil-thin, featureless discs about the size of a shirt-button. They [i]are[/i] gold, though. Adventurers are very insistent about that part. [end if]You have [moneynum of coins in words] of them." Instead of attacking something when the current game is Ket: if the noun is the player begin; say "[m38]"; otherwise if the noun is big Log; if the player carries axe begin; say "[co]The game only accepts CHOP LOG, but I'll give you that one.[/co]"; try cutting big Log; otherwise; say "[co]You're on the right track here, but lack an appropriate tool.[/co]"; end if; otherwise; say "[co][one of]Oh no no no. You're willing to venture into the combat-oriented tunnels, if you can get away without any prolonged fights. A single decisive blow is one thing; but you're just not cut out for RNGs and hit-points[or]Nope, still not joining the thews-and-chainmail brigade[stopping].[/co]"; end if; Instead of buying an acquired thing: say "[co]You've already got your avaricious mitts on it, which is nine-tenths of the law as far as you're concerned.[/co]"; bandname 2; Instead of buying something fixed in place (called foo): if foo is fixed in place, say "[co]Even if it were for sale, you're not sure how you'd arrange delivery.[/co]" Instead of buying something (called foo) when the player does not carry coins: say "[if the current game is Mountains of Ket]But you have no coins[otherwise]You have no money[end if]."; Instead of buying a person: if the noun is an animal begin; continue the action; otherwise; say "[co]You've done some pretty low things in your time, but never stooped to slave-trading.[/co]"; end if; Check buying something (called foo): if the cost of foo is 0 begin; say "[if the current game is Ket]I don't know what you mean[otherwise]It's not for sale[end if]."; stop the action; end if; Check buying something (called foo): if the cost of foo > the moneynum of coins begin; let N be a random man in the location; say "[N] says[br]'You don't have enough money, it costs [the cost of foo] coins'[p]"; stop the action; end if; Carry out buying something (called foo): let N be a random salesman in the location; say "The [N] says[br]'O.K. [OKwhine]Thats [the cost of foo] coins'[note 194][p]"; now the moneynum of coins is the moneynum of coins - the cost of foo; if the moneynum of coins is 0 begin; remove coins from play; now coins are unsafe; end if; now the player carries foo; The block buying rule is not listed in any rulebook. Selling is an action applying to one thing. Understand "sell [something]" as selling. Instead of selling something unacquired: say "[co]That's not yours to sell.[/co]" Instead of selling something valuable: say "[co]You're not going to fence your loot down [i]here[/i]. You'd get far better prices up on the surface.[/co]"; Instead of selling safety line in the presence of a shopkeeper: say "[co]You don't want to be stuck here. Or to unleash NPCs into the tunnels. Last time that happened it took months to sort it all out.[/co]" Definition: a thing is priceless if its cost is 0. Instead of selling something priceless: if there is a salesman in the location begin; let X be a random salesman in the location; say "The [X] says,[br]'I don't want it.'"; otherwise; say "[if the current game is Ket]Who are you going to sell to?[br][otherwise][co]Apparently nobody here is willing to buy that.[/co][end if]"; end if; Check selling something: if there is no salesman in the location begin; say "Who are you going to sell to?"; stop the action; end if; To cashgain (foo - a number): if the player does not carry coins, now the player carries coins; now the moneynum of coins is the moneynum of coins + foo; Carry out selling something (called foo): let X be the cost of foo; let Y be X / 2; let merchant be a random salesman in the location; say "The [merchant] says[br]'O.K. [OKwhine]Here are [Y] coins'[br]"; cashgain Y; now foo is unsafe; now foo is unacquired; move foo to the location of player; Carry out opening ket: reset Mountains of Ket; say "[co]As you're making your way down the relevant tunnel, you notice one of the chalk symbols that fellow Spelunkers scrawl to warn one another of particular dangers. This is the glyph that signs for 'important unlisted exits.'[/co]"; wait for any key; clear the screen; say "MOUNTAINS[br]OF KET[p]THE FIRST OF A 3 PART SERIES[p][b]BY R.A. McCORMACK[/b][p]1983, Incentive Software Ltd[br]PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE"; wait for any key; clear the screen; say "Blah blah statistics screen, and then:[p]"; move the player to Ket-Road; now the player carries trusty sword; edgarwhine happens in 17 turns from now; now the player carries some coins; now the command prompt is "What shall we do?[br]"; The saferoom of Ket is Ket-road. At the time when edgarwhine happens: if the current game is Mountains of Ket, say "Edgar[note 96] says[br]'We'll never get to the mountain at this rate!!'"; Rule for concluding ket: now the command prompt is ">"; follow the conclusory rule; Rule for escaping ket: now the command prompt is ">"; follow the escapology rule; Rule for retreating ket: now the command prompt is ">"; follow the retreatage rule; Check examining a thing (called foo): if the current game is Mountains of Ket and foo is not carried and foo is not worn begin; say "But you don't have it[first time][note 31][only][first time][if foo is a person][note 30][end if][only]!"; stop the action; end if; Check examining a thing (called foo): if the current game is Mountains of Ket and foo is not map and foo is not coins and foo is not wand and foo is not Gazette and foo is not armour begin; say "I see nothing special[note 136][br]"; stop the action; end if; Ket-Road is a room. "We are on a road with fields on both sides[note 34]. To our east is a village & a wood." the helptext of Ket-Road is "Try exploring a bit more!" Instead of going nowhere when the current game is Mountains of Ket, say "I'm afraid we can't go that way[horsehint]." Ket-fakeroom is west of Ket-Road. "The path through the mountains is to the east of the village not the west!" Ket-harvestroom is north of Ket-Road. "We are in a field, the crops here have been harvested." Ket-harvestroom is north of Ket-harvestroom. Ket-fakeroom is west of Ket-harvestroom. Ket-harvestroom is east of Ket-harvestroom. The helptext of Ket-harvestroom is "Try exploring a bit more!" a long Chain is a thing in Ket-harvestroom. The description of chain is "About ten feet of light chain with a clip at either end, suitable for securing a dog." The hisp of long chain is "cadena larga". Understand "cadena" or "larga" as long chain. Ket-ploughedfield is south of Ket-Road. "We are in a ploughed field with bushes nearby and a stable to the east." Talps-heard is a truth-state that varies. Talps-heard is false. After going south from Ket-Road: try looking; if a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds begin; say "You hear someone saying 'TALPS'[note 167][p]"; now talps-heard is true; end if; Ket-lowbushes is south of Ket-ploughedfield. "We are amongst some low bushes[br]To our east is a wood." Ket-village is east of Ket-Road. "We are at a crossroads in the village centre. There are buildings all around." The helptext of Ket-village is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-hardware is north of Ket-village. "We are in a small but clean & tidy hardware shop." The helptext of Ket-hardware is "Try exploring a bit more!" A salesman is a kind of person. a shopkeeper is a male salesman in Ket-hardware. "Also here is a Man (shopkeeper)". The printed name of shopkeeper is "Man (shopkeeper)". Understand "man" as shopkeeper. Check taking a thing in the presence of a person (called foo) while the current game is Mountains of Ket: if foo is not an animal and foo is not the player and foo is not carried and foo is not worn begin; say "[The foo] says[br]'You can't just take things from here[note 142].'"; stop the action; end if; After taking something when the current game is Mountains of Ket: say "O.K.[OKwhine]" a Lamp is a thing in Ket-hardware. The cost of Lamp is 2. Lamp is unlit. The description of lamp is "Your basic brass hand-lantern." The hisp of lamp is "linterna". Understand "linterna" as lamp. Instead of switching on lamp, try burning lamp; Instead of burning Lamp: say "O.K.[OKwhine]"; now Lamp is lit; sharp Axe is a sharp thing in Ket-hardware. The cost of axe is 2. The description of sharp Axe is "A straightforward splitting axe, two-handed. Too cumbersome to be credible as a weapon, unless your opponent moves very slowly and is made of wood." The hisp of sharp Axe is "hacha afilada". Understand "hacha" and "afilada" as sharp axe. Understand "ax" as axe. a phial of Potion is a valuable masc thing in Ket-hardware. The cost of potion is 2. The description of potion is "A glass bottle with a familiar rounded shape. The label just says POTION, but from the scarlet colour of the goop inside you can be confident that it's for healing[first time]. Monster-bashers chug these things like protein shakes, but they're super valuable topside. Thank you, healthcare inflation[only]." The hisp of phial is "frasco de poción". Understand "frasco" or "pocion" or "frasco de pocion" as phial. The epilogue of phial of potion is "which you stow in the medicine cabinet rather than getting decent insurance" Instead of drinking phial: say "[co]Nah, this is way too valuable to just swig for the taste. Also they taste terrible.[/co]" Ket-lane is south of Ket-village. "We are at the south end of a lane, to our west are the stables and on our east is a house." Ket-stables is west of Ket-lane and east of Ket-ploughedfield. "These are the stables, they smell of manure." The helptext of Ket-stables is "You could form a stable relationship with a Horse[note 166]." strong Horse is a masc male animal in Ket-stables. The cost of horse is 4. Horse can be ridden or unridden. Horse is unridden. The description of Horse is "You're no judge of horseflesh, but this is a magnificent creature: a mass of jet-black muscle [if horse is ridden]that makes the ground seem very far away[otherwise]towering over you[end if], a springy, precise dressage gait, and a mane and tail considerably swooshier than strictly necessary. You'd like to count him as a treasure, but seriously, you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to sell thoroughbreds without the proper paperwork." The hisdesc of horse is "El caballo se ve muy incómodo en el interior del carro." The hisp of horse is "caballo fuerte". Understand "caballo" or "fuerte" as horse. Rule for writing a paragraph about strong Horse when the location is startroom: say "Gingerly stepping over the uneven cave floor is your strong horse[first time]! You have no idea how he made it all the way from the Ket foothills on his own[only]." Riding is an action applying to one thing. Understand "ride [something]" as riding. Understand "mount [something]" as riding. Does the player mean riding strong Horse: it is very likely. [rule for supplying a missing noun] Instead of riding something: say "That isn't really something you can ride." Instead of riding horse when the current game is Mountains of Ket: if horse is acquired begin; say "O.K. [OKwhine]"; now horse is ridden; now the player carries horse; otherwise; try taking horse; end if; Instead of riding horse: if horse is unridden begin; say "[one of]The great black monster must be five and a half feet tall at the shoulder. Now that you're outside Ket, it's a great deal harder to clamber into the saddle, but [horse] is very understanding and eventually you make it[or]You haul yourself inelegantly into the saddle again[stopping]."; otherwise; say "You're already in the saddle, albeit precariously."; end if; now horse is ridden; now the player carries horse; Dismounting is an action applying to one thing. Understand "dismount [something]" or "unmount [something]" as dismounting. Does the player mean dismounting strong Horse: it is very likely. Instead of dismounting something: say "You're not riding that. Nor could you, really."; Stableman is a male salesman in Ket-stables. "Also here is a Stableman". Understand "man" as stableman. Instead of taking an unacquired thing (called foo) in Ket-stables: say "The Stableman says 'You can't just take things from here.'"; Ket-house is east of Ket-lane. Ket-house is south of Ket-eastlane. "The house we are in is very basic, it only has one floor." owner is a man in Ket-house. The printed name of owner is "a Man (The owner)". Understand "man" as the owner. Ket-eastlane is east of Ket-village. Ket-eastlane is north of Ket-house. The description of Ket-eastlane is "This lane we are in leads east/west, there is a posh house to the north." The helptext of Ket-eastlane is "Don't just kill everyone!" Instead of going north in Ket-house: say "I'm afraid we can't go that way[note 199]." [YES THIS IS ACTUALLY RIGHT] The helptext of Ket-house is "Don't just kill everyone!" Ket-poshhouse is north of Ket-eastlane. The description of Ket-poshhouse is "This house is well kept and has two floors." The helptext of Ket-poshhouse is "Don't just kill everyone[note 170]!" a Cartographer is a person in Ket-poshhouse. Cartographer can be frosty or toasty. Cartographer is frosty. The initial appearance of Cartographer is "Also here is a Cartographer[br][if the cartographer is frosty]The Cartographer says[br]'Gosh it's cold'.[end if]" Ket-openfield is east of Ket-eastlane. "We are in an open field, the village lies to our west and a small path leads south." Ket-openfield is east of Ket-openfield. Instead of going east in Ket-openfield when the horse is ridden: move the player to Ket-lowvalley; Ket-smallfield is north of Ket-openfield. "We are in a small field. To our South is a large field." Ket-nspath is south of Ket-openfield. "We are on a north/south path." The helptext of Ket-nspath is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-riverbank is south of Ket-nspath. "We are standing on a river bank. There is a wood to our west and a small path leads north." Ket-riverbank is watery. Ket-woods is south of Ket-lane, east of Ket-lowbushes and west of Ket-riverbank. "The wind is blowing through the trees of the wood we are now in. There is a path going east and the sound of voices comes from the north." The helptext of Ket-woods is "Don't just kill everyone[note 168]!" A big Log is a burnable thing in Ket-woods. The description of log is "What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbour's dog? oh GOD DAMMIT, you're going to be earwormed all day now." Instead of cutting big Log: if the player carries axe begin; if the player carries big Log begin; say "What? While you're carrying it"; otherwise; remove big Log from play; say "[br]chop! chop! Its done."; move chopped logs to the location of player; now big Log is not safe; end if; otherwise; say "What with (Your hands)?[note 42][br]"; end if; Chopped Logs is a burnable thing. The description of Chopped Logs is "Well, it's more like kindling, really. You're not burly enough to chop wood against the grain." Instead of giving Chopped Logs to the Cartographer: say "The Cartographer says[br]'O.K. [OKwhine]Here are 7 coins and you can have my MAP too.'"; now cartographer is toasty; cashgain 7; now chopped logs are in Ket-poshhouse; now chopped logs are not safe; now the player carries the old map; Instead of giving something to the Cartographer: say "The Cartographer says[br]'I don't want it[if the noun is big log][note 171][end if].'"; an old Map is a masc burnable thing. The description of old Map is "It shows the path through the mountains to be EAST of some boulders[note 32]." The hisp of old map is "viejo mapa". Understand "viejo" or "mapa" as old map. Ket-lowvalley is a room. The description of Ket-lowvalley is "We are in a low valley, the grass here is burnt." The helptext of Ket-lowvalley is "Try exploring a bit more!" Instead of going west in Ket-lowvalley when the horse is ridden: move the player to Ket-openfield; Ket-northvalley is north of Ket-lowvalley. The description of Ket-northvalley is "We are at the north end of the Valley, it is blocked by rocks". The helptext of Ket-northvalley is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-bleakfield is south of Ket-lowvalley. The description of Ket-bleakfield is "We are in a bleak field. There are other fields all around." The helptext of Ket-bleakfield is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-barrens is south of Ket-bleakfield. "The land around us is barren." The helptext of Ket-barrens is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-spoiltfield is west of Ket-bleakfield. "We are in a spoilt field." The helptext of Ket-spoiltfield is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-boulderfield is east of Ket-bleakfield. "We can see a field in the west around us are boulders." The helptext of Ket-boulderfield is "Try exploring a bit more!" Ket-cliffface is east of Ket-lowvalley. "We are at the base of a sheer and crumbling cliff face." a pair of Dice are a tiny thing in Ket-cliffface. The description of pair of dice is "They're wargaming-sized, a sort of yellowish-white with black pips, and quite light. Possibly made out of bone." pair of dice are masc. The hisp of dice is "par de dados". Understand "dados" or "par" or "par de dados" as dice. old map can be unexamined or examined. old map is unexamined. Carry out examining old map: now old map is examined. Instead of going east in Ket-boulderfield when old map is unexamined: say "I'm afraid we can't go that way[horsehint]."; Ket-caveentrance is east of Ket-boulderfield. "To our south is the mountain, with a cave entrance in its base". a false Beard is in Ket-caveentrance. The description of false Beard is "A mass of hair with a couple of earhooks. On closer inspection, it seems to be made of the pelts of several small, furry animals." The hisp of beard is "barba postiza". Understand "barba" or "postiza" as beard. false beard is wearable. Instead of going south in Ket-caveentrance when the player carries the horse: say "The HORSE will not enter[note 33]!"; Instead of going south in Ket-caveentrance: say "As you entered the cave a huge gate slammed down behind you. You are trapped in the mountain until you can find another way out!"; move horse to startroom; now horse is safe; wait for any key; move the player to Ket-cave1; Rule for printing the description of a dark room when the current game is Mountains of Ket: say "Gasp! Its too dark to see!" Instead of dismounting horse: say "You clamber from Strong Horse's back. It feels a lot safer to be on the ground."; now horse is unridden; now horse is in the location of player; Instead of dismounting horse when the current game is Mountains of Ket: say "O.K. [OKwhine][br]"; now horse is unridden; now horse is in the location of player; Does the player mean dismounting the horse: it is very likely. Does the player mean riding the horse: it is very likely. Ket-caves is a region. A room can be patrolled. A room is usually not patrolled. Ket-cave1 is a room. Ket-cave1 is in Ket-caves. Ket-cave1 is dark. The description of Ket-cave1 is "We are in a cave. In its centre is a column of stone. There are entrances all around but the way North is blocked by a Gate". The helptext of Ket-cave1 is "This may be a good place to leave things[note 174]." Ket-cave1 is patrolled. a pile of Gems is in Ket-cave1. pile of Gems is valuable. The description of gems is "Whenever something is measured by the pile, there's good grounds to doubt that it's hugely valuable. And indeed, looking closer at this pile, it's mostly tumbled semiprecious pebbles - tiger-eyes, turquoises and agates, the sort of thing you'd see piled up in bins at a gift-shop. There are some decent fire opals in there, though, and a scattering of tiny emeralds." The hisp of gems is "pila de piedras". Understand "pila" or "piedras" or "pila de piedras" as gems. The epilogue of pile of Gems is "which make an infinitesimal dent in your college loans" Ket-guardroom is west of Ket-cave1. It is dark. Ket-guardroom is in Ket-caves. "This is the guard room. It smells of unwashed bodies." The helptext of Ket-guardroom is "Try exploring a bit more!" A thing can be dog-et. A thing is normally not dog-et. some tasty Food is in Ket-guardroom. The description of tasty food is "An unmarked Mason jar of home-canned... something. Brown greasy chunks in pondwater. It's not the idea of eating potted beholder or umber hulk that gets to you so much; it's that you really don't trust adventurers to follow proper anti-botulism practice, which is hard to accomplish in a dungeon." Ket-guardroom is patrolled. The hisp of tasty food is "sabrosa comida". Understand "sabrosa" or "comida" or "conserva" or "lata" as tasty food. tasty food is dog-et. Instead of eating tasty food when the current game is Ket: say "Yum! Yum[note 213]!"; remove food from play; Instead of eating tasty food when the current game is Dracula: say "¡Mmm! ¡Mmm[note 213]!"; remove food from play; Instead of eating tasty food: say "Aside from being cold, rubbery and unspeakably greasy, it's actually really good. [We] can't identify the taste, exactly, and it's probably safer not to speculate."; remove tasty food from play; The hisdesc of tasty food is "Una lata de conserva, platija en aceite oliva con granos de pimienta y hojitas de laurel. Se ve delicioso." Ket-archceiling is east of Ket-cave1. It is dark. Ket-archceiling is in Ket-caves. "The room we are in has a high arched ceiling. A faint breeze comes from the south." Ket-archceiling is patrolled. Ket-crosspassage is south of Ket-cave1. It is dark. Ket-crosspassage is in Ket-caves. "We are at a cross passage and can see a strange sight[note 35] to the south." Ket-crosspassage is patrolled. A monster is a kind of person. A monster has a number called deathnumber. A monster has some text called deathscript. The deathscript of a monster is usually "You are ripped limb from limb." the goblin Guard is a monster in Ket-crosspassage. The deathnumber of goblin Guard is 4. The deathscript of goblin Guard is "The goblin Guard springs upon you with a gleeful screech, and proceeds to turn you into kebab meat." An every turn rule (this is the wandering goblin rule): if the current game is Mountains of Ket and a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds begin; if goblin guard is in a room (called the current space) and the player is not in current space begin; let next space be a random patrolled room which is adjacent to the current space; move goblin guard to next space; if player is in next space, say "A GOBLIN GUARD enters the area."; [TO DO: find what the message is here] end if; end if; The wandering goblin rule is listed after the monster threat rule in the every turn rules. The attack-count is a number that varies. The attack-count is 0. After dropping something in Ket-caves: if the guard dog is not in the location of the player begin; say "A large RAT grabs it and runs away before you can do a thing[note 92]."; remove the noun from play; now the noun is not safe; otherwise; continue the action; end if; Ket-strawroom is a dark room in Ket-caves. It is west of Ket-crosspassage. Every turn (this is the monster threat rule): if there is a monster in the location of the player begin; let Z be a random monster in the location of the player; now the attack-count is the attack-count + 1; if the attack-count is 1, say "[co]Don't look now, but [the Z] looks awfully threatening.[/co]"; if the attack-count is 2, say "[co]Look, [the Z] is definitely planning to attack any moment now. You're not prepared to handle an opponent of this calibre. Beat it, kid.[/co]"; if the attack-count is 3 begin; say "[co][the deathscript of Z][/co]"; let Q be the deathnumber of Z; deathify Q; carry out the escaping activity with the current game; end if; otherwise; now the attack-count is 0; end if; guard Dog is a masc animal in Ket-strawroom. guard Dog can be friendly, unfriendly or chained. guard Dog is unfriendly. The description of guard dog is "[if the current game is Dracula]Eine ungeheure schwarze Schäferhund mit einem ständig begeisterten Ausdruck[otherwise]An immense black Alsatian with a perpetually enthusiastic expression[end if]." The hisp of guard dog is "perro guardián". Understand "perro" or "guardian" as guard dog. Feeding is an action applying to one thing. Understand the command "feed" as something new. Understand "feed [something]" as feeding. Instead of feeding something: say "[co]You're just trying to make trouble, aren't you?[/co]"; Instead of feeding a person: say "[co]Are you [the noun]'s keeper? Don't answer that.[/co]"; Instead of feeding the player: say "[co]Sadly, there are no abusive dentists to be found.[/co]"; Instead of feeding guard dog: if the player carries a dog-et thing begin; let N be a random dog-et thing carried by the player; try the player giving N to guard dog; end if; Instead of giving a dog-et thing to guard dog: if guard dog is friendly begin; say "[co]You won't get much guarding out of an overfed guard-dog.[/co]"; otherwise; say "The dog instantly becomes your friend and wolfs down the food[note 95]."; now guard dog is friendly; end if; Instead of taking the guard dog when guard dog is unfriendly: say "He nearly bites your arm off as you near him." Instead of dropping something in the presence of a person (called foo) when the current game is Mountains of Ket: if foo is not the player and foo is not an animal begin; say "The [foo] says[br]'You can't leave things here'[br]"; otherwise; continue the action; end if; chaining is an action applying to one thing. Understand "chain [something]" or "tie [something]" as chaining. Instead of chaining something: say "You can't do that[note 93]!" Instead of tying the chain to something: try chaining the second noun. Instead of tying something to the chain: try chaining the noun. Instead of chaining the player when the player carries the chain: say "[co][if the current game is Sweet Sixteen]All right, this [i]is[/i] that kind of game, but evidently it's not catering to that specific kink[otherwise]Hey now, this isn't that kind of game[end if].[/co]" Instead of chaining guard dog when the current game is Mountains of Ket: say "I see nothing to chain him to." Instead of chaining the guard dog when the current game is Mountains of Ket and the player is in Ket-cave1 and the player carries the chain: say "You tie the dog to the pillar. He looks fierce enough to guard anything[note 94]."; remove the chain from play; now the guard dog is chained; now the guard dog is in Ket-cave1; [A Dog chained to the column] Instead of taking guard dog: if guard dog is chained, say "You can't!"; if guard dog is unfriendly, say "***TODO****"; if guard dog is friendly begin; say "[if the current game is mountains of ket]O.K[otherwise if the current game is Dracula]Se llama [guard dog] a su lado[note 173][otherwise]You whistle [guard dog] to your side[end if]."; now the player carries guard dog; end if; Ket-toilet is a dark room in Ket-caves. It is east of Ket-crosspassage. The description of Ket-toilet is "Obviously this chamber has been used as a toilet[bathe 1][note 91]." a Wand is a thing in Ket-toilet. The description of wand is "[if the current game is Mountains of Ket]The word MINT is on it[otherwise]It's a foot-long rod with a star on the end. You know, a wand. Back in the [']80s there wasn't much interest in the resonances of particular woods or wand cores or other artisanal concerns; this one is plastic and has a certain air of novelty swizzle-stick.[p]The word MINT is prominently embossed on the shaft[end if]." The hisp of Wand is "varilla de virtudes[note 153]". Understand "varilla" or "virtudes" or "varilla de virtudes" as wand. The hisdesc of wand is "Se trata de un pie de largo varilla con una estrella en la punta." Instead of waving wand when the current game is mountains of ket: say "Nothing Happens!"; Instead of examining wand when the current game is mountains of ket: say "The word 'MINT' is on it."; Ket-chamber is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We are in a chamber. There is an archway to our south and from the east comes the smell of incense." A copy of the Goblin Gazette is in Ket-chamber. The description of Gazette is "It tells of an OGRE who just loves to play dice and is very good at it." The hisp of Gazette is "copia de la Gaceta Trasgo". Understand "copia" or "Gaceta" or "Trasgo" as Gazette. Understand "post" or "woo-woo" as Gazette when the current game is Samhain. Understand "copy" or "Magnetism" as Gazette when the current game is Sweet Sixteen. Understand "copia" or "Blackwood" or "Magazine" as Gazette when the current game is Dracula. Understand "Screw" or "Bechdel" or "Screw the Bechdel" as Gazette when the current game is Take One. Understand "copy" or "Protoliterate" or "Times" as Gazette when the current game is ARGH's. Rule for printing the name of Goblin Gazette: if the current game is: -- Samhain: say "copy of the Woo-Woo Post"; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "copy of Magnetism"; -- Dracula: say "copia de la Blackwood Magazine"; -- ARGH's: say "copy of the Protoliterate Times"; -- Take One: say "copy of Screw the Bechdel"; -- otherwise: say "copy of the Goblin Gazette"; Instead of examining the Goblin Gazette: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "It tells of an OGRE who just loves to play dice and is very good at it."; -- Samhain: say "This is a magazine about magick for the less discerning practitioner. About three-quarters of it is advertisements for crystals and the like, but there's a featured article about virgin sacrifice. Most of this is an excuse for heavily Photoshopped images of elfy young women on historically questionable altars, but there is a mention of how otherworldly or artificial beings can use sacrifices to become human themselves."; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "[i]Magnetism[/i], the magazine for the aspiring seduction artist, is about half douchebag training school and half adverts for cologne, penis enhancements and Fleshlights. There are many of pictures of women looking either submissively fascinated or post-orgasmic. One article, entitled [i]Alpha to Alpha[/i], gives advice on how to deal with a possessive and threatening father: [i]'Like the manly wolf, try reaching out to her father over a meal of red meat. He will recognise your status as an assertive leader, and inwardly accept your right to claim his cub.'[/i]"; -- ARGH's: say "A series of bone discs, upon which have been burned a disorderly set of pictographs and simple shapes that might plausibly have signified something to the person who inscribed them. The only pictograph that looks like anything at all... might be a stick-figure bottle-feeding a very fat marmot."; -- Dracula: say "Thank god, this is in English. You leaf through the formidable journal of poetry and prose, and happen upon a short story about a man who, falling asleep while travelling in a foreign land, is trapped in a seemingly endless labyrinth of unsettling dreams. Eventually -- betrayed, forsworn, dying in extreme privation -- he realises that he never thought to try waking up, and now it is too late and he has forgotten how."; -- Take One: say "This is the official newsletter of the American Motion Picture Producers' Association, [i]Screw Bechdel![/i] It's about as depressing as you'd expect."; -- otherwise: say "Goblins crop up in a number of the caves; unlike orcs, their range of variation has never extended to rehabilitation into good-hearted outsiders, and their reading materials are finger-paint scrawls on stolen paper. Generally in some variety of body fluid."; path-to-archway is a dark room in Ket-caves. path-to-archway is south of Ket-chamber. The description of path-to-archway is "Up ahead we can see an archway". Ket-flightstairs is a dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-flightstairs is south of path-to-archway. The description of Ket-flightstairs is "There are a flight of stairs going up from here. To the west is a chamber and there are holes in the south wall." a Gremlin is a person in Ket-flightstairs. "Also here is a Gremlin.[p]The Gremlin cowers near the small holes and points in." [An apparently pointless maze; the only purpose, as far as I can see, is to get you lost.] Ket-chamber2 is a dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-chamber2 is west of Ket-flightstairs. The description of Ket-chamber2 is "This chamber has a thin layer of dust on its floor." Ket-tinytunnels is a dark room in Ket-caves. The description of Ket-tinytunnels is "We enter some tiny tunnels." Ket-tinytunnels is south of Ket-flightstairs. Ket-tinytunnels is north of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-lowtunnels is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We enter some low tunnels." Ket-smallwinding is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We enter some small winding tunnels." Ket-tunnel is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We enter some small tunnels." Ket-tinytunnels is north of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-smallwinding is east of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-lowtunnel is south of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-tunnel is west of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-tinytunnels is up of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-smallwinding is down of Ket-tinytunnels. Ket-lowtunnels is north of Ket-lowtunnels. Ket-tunnel is east of Ket-lowtunnels. Ket-tinytunnels is south of Ket-lowtunnels. Ket-smallwinding is west of Ket-lowtunnels. Ket-tunnel is down of Ket-lowtunnels. Ket-tunnel is north of Ket-tunnel. Ket-tinytunnels is east of Ket-tunnel. Ket-smallwinding is south of Ket-tunnel. Ket-lowtunnels is west of Ket-tunnel. Ket-tunnel is up of Ket-tunnel. Ket-tinytunnels is down of Ket-tunnel. Ket-smallwinding is north of Ket-smallwinding. Ket-lowtunnel is east of Ket-smallwinding. Ket-tunnel is south of Ket-smallwinding. Ket-tinytunnels is west of Ket-smallwinding. Ket-smallwinding is up of Ket-smallwinding. Ket-tunnel is down of Ket-smallwinding. Instead of going up in Ket-lowtunnels: move the player to Ket-flightstairs; say "[co]Gods and monsters, but that was a great deal of nonsense. You feel a certain bloody-minded satisfaction for getting out of there without resorting to the safety line, at least.[/co]"; accomplish accomp6; Before going south in Ket-flightstairs: if accomp6 is activated begin; say "[co]Oh no. You're not putting up with that bullshit again, no matter how nicely you've mapped it.[/co]"; stop the action; end if; Pretty Necklace is a valuable masc thing in Ket-chamber2. The description of Pretty Necklace is "[co]Every link of it is a different gaudy colour of gem; it's the sort of thing that a six-year-old in a princess phase might adore. You'd expect it to be made of cheap plastic, not several hundred grain jewels set in sterling silver.[/co]". The hisp of necklace is "bonito collar". Understand "bonito" or "collar" as necklace. The epilogue of pretty necklace is "which you barter on Etsy for some chainmail gloves" Ket-warmroom is a dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-warmroom is up from Ket-flightstairs. The description of Ket-warmroom is "We are in a warm room with a shut door to the west. In the south is a ramp leading down to a den." dragon-count is a number that varies. dragon-count is 0. Before going up in Ket-flightstairs: now dragon-count is 0; a ramp is scenery in Ket-warmroom. ramp can be oily or unoiled. ramp is unoiled. Instead of pouring bottle of oil in Ket-warmroom: say "You pour the oil on the ramp making It very slippery.[br]The bottle is now EMPTY.[br]"; remove bottle of oil from play; now bottle of oil is not safe; now player carries empty bottle; now ramp is oily; Every turn when the player is in Ket-warmroom: now dragon-count is dragon-count + 1; if dragon-count is 2 begin; if ramp is unoiled begin; say "A [b]HUGE DRAGON[/b] struggles up the ramp into the room."; wait for any key; say "[co]Even if you were the surly burly type that usually frequents this place, this fight would be extremely brief. As it is, you're consumed in one bite.[/co]"; deathify 12; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; otherwise; say "The [b]HUGE DRAGON[/b] struggles up the ramp but slips back down."; end if; end if; Ket-westside is a room in Ket-caves. "We are on the west side of a door. To our west is a landing." chamber door is a closed door. chamber door is scenery. chamber door is west of Ket-warmroom and east of Ket-westside. Check an actor going (this is the replacement can't go through closed doors rule): if the door gone through is chamber door and the door gone through is closed begin; say "I'm afraid we can't go that way[note 193]."; stop the action; otherwise; abide by the can't go through closed doors rule; end if; The replacement can't go through closed doors rule is listed instead of the can't go through closed doors rule in the check going rules. Instead of opening chamber door: say "You manage to OPEN the DOOR, but it begins to swing shut."; the dragongate closes in one turn from now; now chamber door is open; At the time when the dragongate closes: if the player is in Ket-warmroom or player is in Ket-westside begin; say "The door swings shut."; end if; now chamber door is closed; Ket-landing is west of Ket-westside. "This is a landing. To the north is a sweet smelling chamber some stairs down are also here." Ket-landing is in Ket-caves. Ket-landing can be checked or unchecked. Ket-landing is unchecked. Every turn while the player is in Ket-landing: [FIX THIS BIT] let N be the achieved corresponding to a count of 15 in the Table of Deaths; if N is true and Ket-landing is unchecked begin; say "Delphia emerges from her chambers, trailed by her burly ogre. You flinch involuntarily, and she rolls her eyes.[p]'Look, kid, you put on such a pathetic show back there that you're clearly not from around these parts. So I feel obliged to warn you that without my magic luck ring, you'll never past the Guardian Beyond the Skull Gate, which is the only route through the Mountains of Ket.'[p]'Oh.'[p]'I'm hoping we can work something out, though. My understanding is that you are a walker between the worlds?'[p]'More or less.'[p]'Then I suggest a trade. As the only woman in the domain of Ket, I -'[p]'What about the Cartographer? Zie seemed kind of ambiguous.'[p][lady 0]'That's just because you can't enter his combat screen. Anyway, look, I'd like to correspond with the great women of far-off kingdoms, so if you could bring me word.'[p]Delphia heads back towards her room. 'Anyway, hit me up once you've got some news.'"; now Ket-landing is checked; end if; The ladylist is a list of numbers that varies. The ladylist is {}. The done-ladylist is a list of numbers that varies. The done-ladylist is {}. This is the world-ladies rule: say "Delphia looks up as you enter. 'So, how's it going? Found any [one of][or]more [stopping]correspondents in the many worlds?'[br]"; if the number of entries in the ladylist is 0 begin; say "'[one of]Not yet[or]Well, it's difficult territory, y'know? They don't exactly give out a XYZZY for Most Effortlessly Passed Bechdel[or]Afraid not[or]Afraid not. There just aren't that many NPCs in general[or]Not that I could find[at random].'[p]'Well, keep looking. Helmut will show you out[first time]. No offence, you understand; but adventurers have sticky fingers[only].'"; otherwise; repeat with N running through the ladylist begin; choose a row with count of N in the Table of Notable Women; say "[br]"; say the response entry; [probably some transitions here] remove N from the ladylist; add N to the done-ladylist; end repeat; if the number of entries in the done-ladylist > 3 begin; say "Delphia sighs deeply. 'Well, I suppose that beggars can't be choosers, and out of the crooked timber. Thus and thus. No praise, no blame.'[p]'Does that mean I get the ring, or not?'[p]'I feel that you are insufficiently engaged with the purpose of this exercise,' says Delphia, 'but fine, take the stupid luck ring. If you'll excuse me, I should really be taking off now; I have responsibilities in Part 2.'[p]With that, she vanishes in a puff of green smoke. "; remove Ogre from play; remove Delphia from play; now the player carries magic luck ring; otherwise; say "[p]'And that's it?'[p]'So far, yes.'[p]'I think that's a pretty poor exchange for a Grade III talisman. Forgive me, but you're going to have to track down some more women. Good day.'[p]The ogre shows you the door, in a manner that does not brook argument."; end if; end if; wait for any key; if Delphia is in Ket-sweetchamber, move the player to Ket-landing; Table of Notable Women count response 0 "'I've found, uh, one evil high priestess.'[p]'Evil? Seriously?'[p]'You killed me on sight! With your ensorcelled ogre!'[p]'You waltzed into my bedchamber waving a sword around! And Helmut is an independent security contracter, thank you very much. His terms of hire specifically forbid ensorcelment.'[p]'You live in a cave with goblins and shit!'[p]'Who are mostly perfectly civil, even to armed thieves.'[p]'Aha, I've know what it is, you're meant to be a priestess but you've got a richly-furnished perfumey chamber. That's evil enchantress territory right there. [i]Good[/i] priestesses live in piously austere chancels or sylvan groves.'" 1 "'I've found a frigid slut lesbian rape-victim.'[p]'Okay, that sounds like the product of a world-logic that I really, really don't want to buy into.'[p]'Yeah. Moving on.'" 2 "'Well, I ran into a superstitious old peasant woman.'" 3 "'I had a disturbing apparition of some sexy, ravening vampire women.'[p]'What kind? Goth queen of the night? Angst-ridden teenager? Pleather-clad kung-fu avenger?'[p]'Uh, a bit more old-school. Demonic, blood-crazed seductress thrall.'" 4 "'There was this world where I ran into a bimbo actress.'[p]'This isn't sounding all that promising.'[p]'Well, despite the best efforts of the author and narrator, she seemed like the most capable person in that world. And I didn't really speak with her myself, so it's hard to say.'" 5 "'So there's a bossy girlfriend with acute memory loss. Though if I had a boyfriend who was such a space cadet I'd probably get a little pushy too.'[p]'Know anything more about her?'[p]'Not really. The curtain kind of fell shortly after she regained consciousness.'" 6 "'I've found a variety of female singer-songwriters of the late 90s who for some reason are also sexy high-school cheerleaders in danger.'[p]'That's... a little weird.'[p]'That about covers it.'[p]'...are any of them Neko Case?'[p]'No.'[p]'Okay, definitely too weird. I think I'll pass.'[p]'Your call.'" 7 "'I found a farmer who dabbles in the dark arts.'[p]'Eh, dabbling is better than nothing. Amateurs often have novel approaches. What's her discipline?'[p]'I think she was trying to make traditional family farming profitable.'[p]'Ambitious, too.'[p]'So I take it that we can put that one in the win column.'" Ket-sweetchamber is a room in Ket-caves. It is north of Ket-landing. The description of Ket-sweetchamber is "This chamber is furnished richly and smells of perfume." A magic luck Ring is a tiny thing in Ket-sweetchamber. an Ogre2 is a person in Ket-sweetchamber. The printed name of ogre2 is "Ogre". High Priestess Delphia is a woman in Ket-sweetchamber. Every turn while the player is in Ket-sweetchamber: let N be the achieved corresponding to a count of 15 in the Table of Deaths; if N is false begin; say "[co]Delphia immediately orders her Ogre to attack you. Ogres are only mid-range as far as bodyguard mooks go, and a real warrior might have prevailed here; you, on the other hand, get crushed like a bug.[/co]"; wait for any key; deathify 15; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; otherwise if Delphia is in Ket-sweetchamber; follow the world-ladies rule; end if; Ket-littleused is a dark room in Ket-caves. It is down from Ket-landing. The description of Ket-littleused is "We are in a little used room. There are stairs up and an entrance to the south." a mages Cloak is an outfit in Ket-littleused. The hisp of mages cloak is "capa del mago". Understand "capa" or "mago" or "capa del mago" as mages cloak. The description of mages Cloak is "It's a navy blue with stars and crescent moons on it, true, but it's a bit nicer quality than that makes it sound. Good sturdy material. Small, tasteful star-and-moon print in a spare, regular pattern." Ket-acrid is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We are in a small chamber, the tunnel entering it from the east has an acrid smell and the light is coming from the south[br]". Ket-acrid is south of Ket-littleused. Ket-ledge is south of Ket-acrid. "We are on a ledge on the side of a mountain. Hundreds of feet below is a river." Instead of going south in Ket-ledge: say "You step off the ledge to meet your death on the rocks below."; deathify 13; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; Ket-bigchamber is a dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-bigchamber is east of Ket-acrid. The description of Ket-bigchamber is "We are at the south end of a big chamber. A wide passage leads south." Every turn when the player is in Ket-bigchamber: if the player carries jeweled Bracelet begin; say "You hear a roar and an UGLY but GIANT DRAGON arrives."; wait for any key; say "[co]Even if you were the surly burly type that usually frequents this place, this fight would be extremely brief. As it is, you're consumed in one bite.[/co]"; deathify 12; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; end if; Ket-dragonsden is a dark room in Ket-caves. "Foolshly we are in the LARGE DRAGONS den." Ket-dragonsden is north of Ket-bigchamber. jeweled Bracelet is a valuable wearable thing in Ket-dragonsden. The description of jeweled Bracelet is "It's an art-nouveau swirly sort of thing of two dragonflies that are nymphs above the waist, either dancing or moving to embrace one another. There are an awful lot of blue sapphires worked into it." the epilogue of jeweled bracelet is "which turns out to be worth about two months['] rent on the art black market". Ket-widepassage is a dark room in Ket-caves. "The wide passage continues. The walls are scorched." Ket-widepassage is south of Ket-bigchamber. Ket-plateau is south of Ket-widepassage. "We are just outside the passage on a mountain plateau." Ket-southplat is south of Ket-plateau. "We are on the south edge of the plateau. To our south is a 20' wide crevasse and another plateau." yourself can be springy. yourself is not springy. Instead of going south in Ket-southplat: if the player is springy begin; say "You spring across the crevasse."; now the player is in Ket-smallplat; otherwise; say "You step off the ledge to meet your death on the rocks below."; deathify 13; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; end if; Ket-smallplat is a room. "You are on the southern plateau, it is very small[note 217]." Instead of going north in Ket-smallplat: if the player is springy begin; say "You spring across the crevasse."; now the player is in Ket-southplat; otherwise; say "You step off the ledge to meet your death on the rocks below."; deathify 13; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; end if; the mages Hat is a masc wearable thing in Ket-smallplat. the hisp of mages hat is "sombrero de mago". Understand "sombrero" or "mago" or "sombrero de mago" as mages hat. The description of mages Hat is "A dark blue affair in a familiar cone-and-brim shape." Ket-antechamber is a dark room in Ket-caves. "This is an ante-chamber that has a religious feel to it. In the south wall is a decorated archway." Ket-antechamber is east of Ket-chamber. a Mad Monk is a man in Ket-antechamber. Every turn when the player is in Ket-antechamber and Mad Monk is in Ket-antechamber: if the player carries the diamond begin; say "The Mad Monk says,[br]'You have stolen the sacred diamond, now DIE'[br]"; wait for any key; if the player carries the magic sword begin; say "[co]To your surprise, the Monk turns out to be a decidedly feeble opponent, and the magic sword does most of the fighting for you. Afterwards, his corpse vanishes somehow while you're busy throwing up.[/co]"; remove the Mad Monk from play; accomplish accomp1; otherwise; say "[co]Withered by ascetic decades, the Monk is scarcely more formidable than you are. Unfortunately, this just makes the ensuing violence haphazard and brutal.[/co]"; deathify 11; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; end if; otherwise; say "The Mad Monk stares at you[br]"; end if; Ket-shrine is a room in Ket-caves. "This is the shrine of some god, a pool is in its centre about which you get an odd feeling". Ket-shrine is south of Ket-antechamber. a large Diamond is a tiny valuable masc thing in Ket-shrine. The hisp of diamond is "gran diamante". Understand "gran" or "diamante" as diamond. The description of large Diamond is "It's about the size of a quail's egg. You'd be more excited about this if you hadn't tried to fence diamonds before, but even after everybody's taken their cut, it'll amount a nice little sum." The epilogue of diamond is "which, without De Beers-certified paperwork, you manage to fence for about the cost of a nice dinner for two". Ket-orcroom is a dark room in Ket-caves. "The walls of this area shimmer and you get an uneasy feeling." Ket-orcroom is south of Ket-archceiling. an Orc is a person in Ket-orcroom. orc can be hostile or amiable. orc is hostile. Every turn when the player is in Ket-orcroom and Orc is hostile: say "The Orc says[br]'What is the PASSWORD?'[br]"; Instead of giving something to Orc: say "[co]Bribery will not help you here. Orcs are, apparently, incorruptible.[/co]"; Instead of going south in Ket-orcroom when Orc is hostile: say "The Orc says[br]'You may not pass.'" Instead of talpsing in Ket-orcroom: if talps-heard is true begin; say "The ORC steps aside."; now orc is amiable; otherwise; say "Are you talking to yourself[note 207]?"; end if; Ket-deadend is a dark room in Ket-caves. "We are in a dead end. The east wall is in mint condition." Ket-deadend is east of Ket-archceiling. The helptext of Ket-deadend is "For a hole try a mixed up loop[note 175]!" Every turn when the player is in Ket-deadend: say "You hear voices coming from the other side of the wall."; [maybe more narrow conditions] Instead of waving wand when the current game is mountains of ket and the player is in Ket-deadend: say "Magic glows at its tip!"; Ket-spiralstaircase is a dark room in Ket-caves. "A spiral staircase leads down from here into darkness. We are in a damp room and the sound of water comes from the south." Ket-spiralstaircase is south of Ket-orcroom. Ket-lake is a watery dark room in Ket-caves. "We are standing on the north edge of an underground lake." Ket-lake is south of Ket-spiralstaircase. Instead of going south in Ket-lake when the player carries five things: say "GLUG! GLUG![p]You try to swim but the weight of your equipment pulls you under and you drown."; deathify 9; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; Ket-midlake is a watery dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-midlake is south of Ket-lake. The description of Ket-midlake is "We are in the middle of the lake. A few yards away to our south is a beach." Instead of going north in Ket-midlake: say "GURGLE! UGH![p]You swim against the current and suddenly get pulled under by a very long tentacle and eaten alive."; deathify 10; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; a crimson Fish is a masc thing in Ket-midlake. The hisp of fish is "peces carmesí". Understand "herring" or "red" as crimson fish. Understand "peces" or "carmesi" or "herring" or "kipper" as crimson fish. The description of crimson fish is "Oh, how amusing. You certainly never tire of this particular joke. Fresh every time." Ket-littlebeach is a watery dark room in Ket-caves. Ket-littlebeach is south of Ket-midlake. Ket-lake is north of Ket-littlebeach. a Ogre is a person in Ket-littlebeach. Playing is an action applying to one thing. Understand "play [something]" or "roll [something]" as playing. Instead of playing a game: try opening the noun. Instead of playing: if the player carries pair of dice begin; say "[co]That's only going to work with the dice.[/co]"; otherwise; say "[co]That's a verb of very specific usage, not applicable here.[/co]"; end if; Instead of playing the dice: say "With whom?"; Instead of playing pair of dice when the location of player is Ket-littlebeach: if Magic sword is in Ket-littlebeach begin; say "[co]Like the combat in Ket, there is no trick here other than save-scumming; it's better than fighting, at least, because it's over more quickly.[/co][p]He gives you his MAGIC SWORD."; now the player carries magic sword; otherwise; say "The Ogre says[br]'I have nothing left to gamble.'"; end if; a Magic sword is a sharp valuable thing in Ket-littlebeach. The hisp of magic sword is "espada mágica". Understand "espada" or "magica" as magic sword. The description of magic sword is "It's been a while since you've had your hands on one of these. They're intermittently helpful, true, but shopkeepers catering to the plundering-hero market will take them off your hands at a price too good to refuse. This one is a Viking or Saxon-looking thing, all burnt grey-black, with two or three horrible ragged notches torn into the blade." The epilogue of magic sword is "worth an obscene number of denars to some half-drow with cleavage-window platemail who didn't put any points into Haggle". the empty bottle is a thing in Ket-spiralstaircase. The hisp of empty bottle is "botella vacía". Understand "botella" or "vacia" as empty bottle. The description of empty bottle is "A tall, thin cylinder, the sort of size in which you might buy an exotic-looking and moderately expensive liqueur that you hadn't actually had a taste of yet." the Bottle of water is a thing. The hisp of bottle of water is "botella de agua". Understand "botella" or "agua" or "botella de agua" as bottle of water. The description of bottle of water is "A tall, thin cylinder, the sort of size in which you might buy an exotic-looking and moderately expensive liqueur that you hadn't actually had a taste of yet. It's full of ordinary water." the Bottle of oil is a burnable thing. The hisp of bottle of oil is "botella de aceite". Understand "botella" or "aceite" or "botella de aceite" as bottle of oil. The description of bottle of oil is "A tall, thin cylinder, the sort of size in which you might buy an exotic-looking and moderately expensive liqueur that you hadn't actually had a taste of yet. It's full of a brown-black oil." Pouring is an action applying to one thing. Understand "pour [something]" or "empty [something]" as pouring. Instead of pouring something: say "You can't do that."; the Bottle of elixir is a thing. The hisp of bottle of elixir is "botella de elixir". Understand "botella" or "botella de elixir" as bottle of elixir. The description of bottle of elixir is "A tall, thin cylinder, the sort of size in which you might buy an exotic-looking and moderately expensive liqueur that you hadn't actually had a taste of yet. It contains... something shimmering that seems to squirm about of its own volition, like quicksilver on party drugs." Instead of filling something (called foo): if foo is a container begin; say "You don't have anything to fill that with."; otherwise; say "You can't really fill that with anything."; end if; Instead of filling bottle of water: say "It's already full of water."; Instead of filling bottle of oil: say "It's already full of oil."; Instead of filling bottle of elixir: say "It's already full of elixir."; Instead of filling empty bottle in a watery room: say "[if the current game is Mountains of Ket]O.K. Its full[otherwise]You fill the bottle up with water.[end if]."; remove empty bottle from play; now empty bottle is not safe; now player carries bottle of water; The elixir-count is a number that varies. The elixir-count is 0. Instead of filling empty bottle in Ket-shrine: if elixir-count > 0 begin; say "Seeing your greed, the GOD of the shrine hurls a lightning bolt at you.[br]O.K. Its full."; deathify 14; wait for any key; now bottle of elixir is in Ket-shrine; remove empty bottle from play; now empty bottle is not safe; carry out the escaping activity with Mountains of Ket; otherwise; say "O.K. Its full."; remove empty bottle from play; now the player carries bottle of elixir; end if; now elixir-count is elixir-count + 1; Instead of drinking bottle of water: say "[if the current game is Mountains of Ket]Glug! Glug! Aah[otherwise][We] chug[-s] down some refreshing water[end if]."; remove bottle of water from play; now bottle of water is not safe; now player carries empty bottle; [jumpful is a truth-state that varies. jumpful is false.] Instead of drinking bottle of elixir: say "[if the current game is Mountains of Ket]Glug! Glug! Aah.[br]You feel a spring in your step[otherwise][We] drink[-s] the elixir in a couple of gulps. It has the distinctive burdock taste (and tweaky mental effects) of a jumping potion[end if]."; remove bottle of elixir from play; now bottle of elixir is not safe; now player carries empty bottle; now player is springy; unjumpification happens in three turns from now; At the time when unjumpification happens: say "The spring has gone from [our] step."; now player is not springy; Filling is an action applying to one thing. Understand "fill [something]" as filling. Ket-oilroom is down from Ket-spiralstaircase. Ket-oilroom is dark. Ket-oilroom is in Ket-caves. "You must watch your step here as the floor has oil on it. From the south comes a musty smell[one of][or][or].[p]I told you it was slippery, you fall over[or][stopping]." Instead of filling empty bottle in Ket-oilroom: say "O.K. Its full."; remove empty bottle from play; now empty bottle is not safe; now the player carries bottle of oil; Ket-cellar is south of Ket-oilroom. Ket-cellar is dark. Ket-cellar is in Ket-caves. "The musty smell & many bottles indicate that this is a cellar[br]" some Gold bars are a valuable thing in Ket-cellar. The hisp of gold bars is "barras de oro". Understand "barras" or "oro" or "barras de oro" as gold bars. The description of gold bars is "A dangerous colour, and heavy as sin. But quite emphatically plural." The epilogue of gold bars is "which you trade with a homesteader for a lifetime's supply of Matanuska Thunderfuck, deal void in event of apocalypse" Goblin2 is a person in Ket-cellar. The printed name of Goblin2 is "Goblin". Understand "goblin" as goblin2. Instead of taking gold bars in the presence of Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'I'll give you the GOLD, i f you give me something to ease my boredom.'" Instead of giving Gazette to Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'That'll do nicely, here's the GOLD'[br]"; now the player carries gold bars; remove Gazette from play; now Gazette is not safe; Instead of giving vibrator to goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'You are making some intrusive assumptions about my preferences'[br]"; Instead of giving five-foot chain to goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'You are making some intrusive assumptions about my preferences'[br]"; Instead of giving five-foot chain to goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'You are making some intrusive assumptions about my preferences'[br]"; Instead of giving gold bars to goblin2: say "[co][if the player encloses gold bars]No returns.[otherwise]He's already got the gold bars[end if].[/co]"; Instead of giving a valuable thing to Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'That will never stand up to gold as a medium-term investment, do you have any BITCOINS'[br]"; Instead of giving coins to Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'Unbacked currencies are effectively worthless'[br]"; Instead of giving a book to Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'I demand entertainment not elitist intellectualism'[br]"; Instead of giving diary to Goblin2: say "The Goblin says[br]'I may be a loathsome cellar-dwelling goldbug, but you've got problems, buddy'[br]"; Ket-skullroom is a room in Ket-caves. Ket-skullroom is south of Ket-crosspassage. The description of Ket-skullroom is "We are standing in front of a huge SKULL that blocks the passage, its eyes emit a dull red glow that lights the area[first time]. [p]You see a man wearing a long robe and tall hat pass through the skulls mouth. The mouth then closes[only]." skullfuck is a truth-state that varies. skullfuck is false. Every turn when the player is in Ket-skullroom: if the player wears mages hat and the player wears mages cloak and the player wears false beard and skullfuck is false begin; say "The SKULLS mouth opens revealing a room beyond."; change the south exit of Ket-skullroom to Ket-redcurtain; change the north exit of Ket-redcurtain to Ket-skullroom; now skullfuck is true; end if; Ket-redcurtain is a room in Ket-caves. The description of Ket-redcurtain is "We are in a room with red curtains on all walls & a set of stairs going down." A suit of magic Armour is an outfit in Ket-redcurtain. The description of Armour is "It looks very strong!" a Giant Zombie is a monster in Ket-redcurtain. Instead of going down in Ket-redcurtain: say "The Giant Zombie blocks you."; Instead of going down in Ket-redcurtain when the player wears magic luck ring and the player wears magic armour: say "TAPE 2[p]You have found the way through the mountains and can now begin the journey to the Temple where you will find Vran & Delphia.[p]Do you have TAPE 2 ?[p][co]...Nooooooooope. And you certainly wouldn't be able to find it anywhere, either. No indeed.[/co]"; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with Mountains of Ket; Part 2 - Le Pantin Electrique le pantin electrique is a game in startroom. The precis of pantin is "[set link 503][bold type]Le Pantin Electrique : Prologue[roman type][end link] [note 5] by Christophe Géradon (2008)". The description of pantin is "[bold type]Le Pantin Electrique : Prologue[roman type][line break]by Christophe Géradon[line break]Humor[line break]2008[p]L'histoire étrange et marrante d'un trentenaire hanté par sa mère. [note 6][p][bold type]Tags:[roman type] cover art (490), francais (1), French (4)[note 9], humor (49), humour (15)[p][set link 523][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]". Carry out opening pantin: say "[co]The download link and game webpage both lead to a defunct Belgian site, now asking me in Dutch whether I'd like to acquire this (or any other) domain. Circling back to Cristophe's IFDB page, I discover that there's also an English version of the game, but that turns out to have been hosted at the same site.[paragraph break]A wider sweep with Google dredges up a transcript on ifiction.free.fr, probably by Otto Grimwald, but nothing further. [frustration]Ah well. There are always going to be some tunnels that turn out to be dead-ends. You retrace your footsteps.[/co]"; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with pantin; Part 3 - School of Death school of death is a game in startroom. The precis of school of death is "[set link 502][bold type]The School of Death[roman type][end link], by Kurt Townsend (1984)[line break] 1/5 stars". The description of school of death is "[bold type]The School of Death[roman type][line break]by Kurt Townsend Episode 65 of Eamon [note 7][line break]RPG[line break]1984[paragraph break]*[line break][bold type]More like.. 'School of Boredom'.,[roman type][line break]by Wade Clarke (Sydney, Australia) [note 8][line break]Eamon#65 comes with a general thumbs up from the EAG, but I found it kind of tiresome. It's a bunch of straightforward combats set in a contemporary school, written from the point of view of a ye olde warrior (you) who has travelled through time to reach it.[paragraph break]The descriptions are arguably clever and consistent, but somehow I just found the overall effect monotonous. The school's boring, the combat verges on being sparse, and continuing to map the school required an effort of will on my part.[p][set link 522][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]" Carry out opening School of Death: say "[one of][co]Finding an Eamon interpreter is momentarily complicated by the existence of an R&B singer called Eamon, best-known for his single 'Fuck It', which coincidentally is your usual reaction to Eamon games. It takes you a good ten minutes to find an Eamon thing that will run on your system, and another ten to work out how to run a particular world, but then:[/co][or][co]Fine. Once more into the breach.[/co][stopping]"; wait for any key; clear the screen; say "WELCOME TO THE[p]EAMON DELUXE COMPUTERIZED FANTASY GAMING SYSTEM[p]You are in the outer chamber of the hall of the Guild of Free Adventurers. Many men and women are guzzling beer and there is loud singing and laughter.[p]On the north side of the chamber is a cubbyhole with a desk. Over the desk is a sign which says: REGISTER HERE OR ELSE![p]Do you go over to the desk or join the men drinking beer?[p](Hit 'D' for desk or 'M' for men[note 27].)"; After reading a command when the current game is School of Death: if the player's command includes "note" begin; do nothing; otherwise if the player's command matches "M"; say "As you go over to the men, you feel a sword being thrust through your back and you hear someone say, 'You really must learn to follow instructions!'"; deathify 3; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with School of Death; stop the action; otherwise if the player's command matches "D"; follow the leaving Eamon rule; otherwise; say "(Hit 'D' for desk or 'M' for men.)"; stop the action; end if; This is the leaving Eamon rule: say "[co]You give a conspicuously fake name to a surly Irishman, ignore the various tradespeople (their prices are way above your means, having been inflated by all the gold dragged back by sword-swinging thugs) and head off towards adventure.[p]It takes a while to work out in which of the various collections School of Death might actually be found, but with some cross-referencing to the wiki you manage to find it, and then:[/co][p]"; wait for any key; say "ALL of the adventures in this collection have been converted to Eamon Deluxe. However, they were converted to an older version which lacked the enhanced features of Eamon Deluxe 5.0, including support for vision impaired users. These Adventures are being upgraded to version 5.0 standards and will be available in the next release of Eamon Deluxe.[p][co]A worthy effort, no doubt, but that scuppers that. Dead-end, and this took enough time to figure out that you're not going to waste time messing about with an emulator. Time to head homewards.[/co]"; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with School of Death; stop the action; Part 4 - Samhain samhain is a game in startroom. The precis of samhain is "[set link 501][bold type]Samhain[roman type][end link] [note 2] by Marc Valhara [note 26] (2000) [line break] 2/5 stars (based on 1 rating)" The description of samhain is "[b]Samhain[/b][br]by Marc Valhara[br]2000[p]Development System: Inform 6[p][co]No reviews, but it's described as 'Halloween as seen by Quentin Tarantino' in a holiday-related games poll. Oh dear.[/co][p][set link 521][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]" Instead of opening Samhain: clear the screen; [TODO: sort this out with new death system] if Samhain is played begin; now the player is in Gym; otherwise; say "You feel like such a whore. [p]First they washed you. They rubbed your skin with a soft cloth, made you clean and gleaming. Then they painted you a face, a cute little 'hello, sailor' smirk. After examining your weight, luster and overall beauty, they determined your price.[p]Then they put you out with the others, to wait for passers-by.[p][b]Samhain: A Second-Person Slash [']Em-Up[/b][br] (or, Pick Up The Jack O['] Lantern And Die)[br] (Special Edition, Director's Cut, With Commentary and Deleted Scenes) [br] An Eddie Mueller Production, Copyright 2000 [br] (Type ABOUT for credits/special commands)[br] Release 1 / Serial number 001021 / Inform v6.15 Library 6/10[p]"; move the player to Pumpkin Patch; now punkincount is 0; end if; Pumpkin Patch is a room. "It's a crisp autumn day. Around you, leaves of gold and orange hang on the trees; Farmer Brown and his wife draw scary faces on the scarecrows to the south. The road is to the east. Far off toward the northwest, a small, oddly shaped building sits atop a small hill." the oddly shaped building is scenery in Pumpkin Patch. "It’s an old church, an unpainted, one-room affair, a monument to the hard toils and simple, humble devotion of the pioneer-folk who hand-built it. Recently the Cow-In-A-Box corporation bought it and turned it into a burger stand. Son Of God hangs from the roof, offering salvation and condiments to all.[p]This late in the afternoon, there’s something disquieting about the shadow that the steeple casts." Understand "church" as oddly shaped building. shadow is part of the oddly shaped building. the description of shadow is "Because of its high vantage, the steeple’s shadow falls across the entire tiny town here, dividing the town in two. It’s symbolism. Geez. The old values of faith and family pitted against the new values of mindless consumerism. The placid, pastoral facade that the town shows outsiders is a lie. Real thought-provoking shit like that.[p]What am I , Arthur Miller?[p]The shadow resembles a pumpkin monster. Woooooo, pumpkin monster!!!!" Understand "steeple" as shadow. Instead of examining the player when the current game is Samhain and the player is in Pumpkin Patch: say "Big. Orange. Roundish." trees are scenery in Pumpkin Patch. "Bored now[note 216]." Understand "tree" or "leaves" as trees. Instead of burning trees: say "[co]Who d'you think taught you to smoke trees? Answer: the Colorado Wildland Fire & Incident Management Academy's controlled burn unit.[/co]"; scarecrows are scenery in Pumpkin Patch. "They're union scarecrows. Best to leave them alone, buddy." Instead of going nowhere in Pumpkin Patch: say "Being a pumpkin, you lack things like feet, legs, and brains." punkincount is a number that varies. punkincount is -2. Every turn when the player is in Pumpkin Patch: now punkincount is punkincount + 1; if punkincount is: -- 1: say "A customer walks into the patch. He begins examining you and your neighbors."; now customer is in Pumpkin Patch; -- 2: say "The customer eyeballs a fat pumpkin to your left. He thumps it gently, checks its ripeness."; -- 3: say "The customer shakes his head, and checks out another pumpkin to your right."; -- 4: say "The customer shrugs, scratches his chin, and gazes at you."; -- 5: say "The customer bends down and picks you up. Seconds later, his head falls off, and he expires. The farmer screams."; -- 6: say "The farmer grabs his wife's arm. 'Dangit, maw, your wicca study group ain't been practicing no hexes on them punkins again, have ya'll[note 159]?'[br][lady 7]The wife blushes. 'Sorry! It were supposed be a high-profits spell, not a deeeee-capitation spell.'"; -- 7: say "The farmer and wife walk over, prop up the man's corpse, and grab his head.[br]Just before the wife can attempt a reattachment spell, however, a teenage boy ambles into the area.[br]'Kickass jack-o-lantern!' he says, pointing to the customer's head. 'It looks just like a severed head! How much ya'll want for it?'[p]The farmer consults with his wife a moment. 'Eight bucks,' they finally decide.[p]'Sold!' The kid hands the farmer a wad of bills, takes the head and disappears."; remove customer from play; -- 8: say "The wife gazes about a moment, then grabs you and slaps you down onto the corpse's neck.[br]'Pa,' she shouts, 'go get my carving knife, this one gonna need a real face.'[br]She begins chanting.[br]Everything goes all dizzy-like...[br]There is a flash of bright light, and then you realize you are still standing in...[br]"; now wife is not scenery; now farmer is not scenery; now trees are in pumpkin2; now scarecrows are in pumpkin2; now oddly shaped building is in pumpkin2; now wife carries mirror; now wife is in pumpkin2; now farmer is in pumpkin2; now farmer is scenery; now wife is scenery; now the player is in pumpkin2; The saferoom of Samhain is pumpkin2. a customer is a man. The description of customer is "It's okay to kill them cause Americans don't have souls[note 158]." a farmer is a man in Pumpkin Patch. farmer is scenery. understand "brown" as farmer. The description of farmer is "He planted you." a wife is a woman in Pumpkin Patch. wife is scenery. The description of wife is "She put a hex on you. Wooooooooooooooo." mirror is a thing. "You're a perfectly normal, average guy. Really. No one thinks it's weird you have a pumpkin for a head. Well, except for everybody ever." Instead of examining the player when the current game is Samhain: say "You're a perfectly normal, average guy. Really. No one thinks it's weird you have a pumpkin for a head. Well, except for everybody ever." Pumpkin2 is a room. "It's a crisp autumn day. Around you, leaves of gold and orange hang on the trees; you can see a cornfield with scarecrows to the south. The road is to the east." The printed name of Pumpkin2 is "Pumpkin Patch". Instead of going south in Pumpkin2: say "'I just wanna take a whiz in your cornfield,' you tell the farmer.[p]He snorts. 'Field’s for paying customers only.'" Instead of attacking the farmer: say "He brought you into this world, and he can take you back out of it." Instead of attacking the wife: say "She helped bring you into this world, and she can take you back out of it." pumpkinroad is east of Pumpkin2. The printed name of pumpkinroad is "Road". The description of pumpkinroad is "Oh, to have feet, and to feel the gravel beneath them! Happy day! As a pumpkin/human hybrid, your main fears are failure and empty pie crusts. The pumpkin patch is to the west. The road continues north." North End Of Road is north of pumpkinroad. "What's the most beautiful part of country living? The trees? The fields? The dead animals in the road, which will remain lying there stinking until they decompose into oblivion? The road continues south. There's a school to the east." Behind The School is east of North End. "You stand in the parking lot behind the high school, near the huge billboard that proudly proclaims the school's motto. You think to yourself: a small-town public high school, a full moon rising, and me an undead vegetable-brained maniac... ah, gee, hope nothing kooky happens. There's a road to the west, and the school's rather flimsy-looking back door is to the north." a billboard is fixed in place in Behind The School. The description of billboard is "DO WHAT THOU WILL; THAT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW[note 160]". The back door is a door. The back door is north of Behind the School and south of Chemistry Lab. The description of back door is "Tax dollars at work my ass." The back door is closed and locked. Rule for writing a paragraph about back door: say "The back door is [if open]open[otherwise]closed[end if]." Understand "kick [something]" as attacking. Instead of attacking door: say "Good for you! You raise your foor and kick the door halfway off its hinges[one of][or][note 206][stopping]."; now back door is open; now back door is unlocked; Every turn when the current game is Samhain: if a random chance of 1 in 60 succeeds begin; say "[one of][ob]PJ Harvey files a lawsuit against the creator of this game.[cb][or]Touch it again and I'll break your damn arm.[or][ob]PJ Harvey shouts, 'I'm one big queen!'[cb][or][ob]PJ Harvey asks, 'Is this desire?'[cb][or][ob]PJ Harvey screams, 'That snake! Put it! In front! Of me!'[cb][or][ob]PJ Harvey picks up the phone booth and dies.[cb][or][ob]PJ Harvey commands Rovert DeNiro to sit on her face.)[cb][or][ob]PJ Harvey asks, 'Who will love me now?'[cb][at random]"; end if; Chemistry Lab is a watery room. "The lab is quiet and clean. Quantum mechanics is bullshit, and you have the notes to prove it feverishly scribbled on the back of a Waffle House napkin; but that's not important right now. A dark and shadowy hallway is to the north. There's a door to the south. Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not yours." a lab table is fixed in place in Chemistry Lab. The description of lab table is "Unlike most tables, this one has four legs." lab table is a supporter. a hot dog is a device on lab table. The printed name of hot dog is "a hot dog, attached to a battery". The description of hot dog is "It's mostly beef lips.[p]Leave it alone; this won first place in this year's science fair (Footnote Ten)[note 97]." Instead of chaining the hot dog when the player carries the chain: say "[co]You like to chain weiner as much as the next girl, but now isn't really the time[note 200].[/co]" the hot dog is switched off. Understand "battery" as hot dog. Instead of switching on hot dog: say "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.[p]Wow, you haven't felt an electric weenie that good since your Paris summer with Andy Warhol."; now hot dog is switched on; Instead of switching off hot dog: continue the action. Instead of doing something to hot dog: say "Leave it alone; this won first place in this year's science fair (Footnote Ten)[note 97]."; Samhain Hallway is north of Chemistry Lab. "It's not really that shadowy; honestly it's mostly just plain dark in here. The floor is waxed and shiny. Good for the custodian! A chemistry lab is south, and a cafeteria is to the west." The printed name of Samhain Hallway is "Hallway". a locker is fixed in place in Samhain Hallway. locker is an openable closed container. a jock strap is in locker. The description of jock strap is "Smells like teen spirit." a jock strap is wearable and masc. Understand "jockstrap" as jock strap. The hisp of jock strap is "suspensorio". Understand "suspensorio" as jock strap. After wearing jock strap: say "You smell so good now."; Cafeteria is west of Samhain Hallway. "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. What is public high school food? Nobody fucking knows. A hallway is east. Another hallway is north." Cafeteria is watery. a food cart is fixed in place in Cafeteria. food cart is pushable between rooms. The description of food cart is "A large, metalish cart to organise and shelve plates and what-not." Hallway2 is north of Cafeteria. "They all look pretty much the same. A cafeteria is south. A gym is north. A school theatre is west. A nurse's station is southwest." The printed name of Hallway2 is "Hallway". Turtle is an animal in Hallway2. "You can see Turtle, the friendly turtle mascot here. Someone has painted mean and hateful slogans on its shell." The description of Turtle is "yes boss i once was a poet i once was an ars libre or something like that now i am a lowly turtle[p]there is a cat her name is ms yawn-miow she lives in an alley[p]she wants to eat me[p]i don t like her boss she says she is a free spirit i say she is just another stupid kitten" The printed name of Turtle is "Turtle, the friendly turtle mascot". Instead of attacking Turtle: say "Yes, yes, tell me about your childhood." the hateful slogans are part of Turtle. The description of slogans is "Well, unfortunately, that's what Turtle gets for being openly gay in a rabidly right-wing podunk town like this." Understand "shell" as hateful slogans. Theatre is west of Hallway2. "If little Riley fucks up his lines in 'Death of A Salesman' one more time, the director is gonna bring a shotgun to school, and everyone will pay; yes, yes. The exit is east. Screw you if you don't agree with that." a stage is fixed in place in Theatre. stage is a supporter. The description of stage is "All the world's a fucking stage." a prop is on stage. The description of prop is "It's a rubber knife. Woooooooooooooooo." The hisp of prop is "cuchillo de goma". Understand "cuchillo" or "goma" or "de goma" as prop. a mostly legible script is on stage. script is burnable. The description of script is "Oh my Goddess! It's the story of a psycho-killer who wanders the halls of a high school, strangling the cheerleaders and shit! Is this foreshadowing? Postshadowing? Charcoal shading? Cubis[p]Oh, forget it.[p]Do-over![p]Oh, my Goodness. It's the story of a teenage girl, coming of age in a sleepy Southern town at the turn of the civil rights movement. She befriends an aging, alcoholic ex-prostitute, and together the women embark upon a journey of self-discovery. Until some psycho killer picks their asses off." The hisp of script is "guión sobre todo legible". Understand "guion" or "legible" or "todo legible" as script. Gym is north of Hallway2. "Imagine the gymnasium at wherever you went to high school at. That's exactly what this place looks like. A hallway is south. The girls['] shower room is northeast. If there were a boys['] shower room it'd be northwest, but there isn't, cause nobody wants to see that. The AV Club room is west.[p](Okay, *I* don't want to see that.)" the bleachers is fixed in place in Gym. bleachers is a supporter. a megaphone is on bleachers. megaphone is masc. Instead of taking megaphone: say "Not taken.[p]Gimme a D! Gimme a U! Gimme a M! What's that spell? This game!"; The hisp of megaphone is "megáfono". Understand "megafono" as megaphone. Shower Room is northeast of Gym. "Steamy. Wet. WOOOOOHAH! (The unfortunateness of exits takes actuality in a southwesterness.)" Shower Room is watery. the naked cheerleader is a woman in Shower Room. "You can see a buxom blonde cheerleader here, all naked and soapy and humming to herself and blithely oblivious to your presence. Her neck is all soft and exposed. She has the words DESIGNATED VICTIM tattooed on her butt (Footnote One)[note 98].". Understand "buxom", "blonde", "jewel" or "girl" as naked cheerleader. Before looking in Shower Room: bandname 3; Instead of swearing obscenely when the current game is Samhain: say "Real psycho killers do not use such language. They are entertaining and witty and suave at all times." Instead of fucking something when the current game is Samhain: try swearing obscenely. Instead of eating the naked cheerleader: say "(first taking the naked cheerleader)[br]I don't suppose the naked cheerleader will care for that[note 161]."; The description of cheerleader is "It's Jewel[popstar 1]. Stop playing foolish games already." Instead of attacking the cheerleader: say "You sneak up behind the cheerleader.[br]You then grab one of the shower nozzles, rip it from its mountings, and brandish it like a tiny club.[br]She turns round, sees you, and screams.[br]You bonk her gently on the head. While she is dazed, you grab her, pick her up, and tickle-tickle-tickle her so hard that she lets free a loud fart.[br]She immediately expires from, like, major embarrassment.[br](You hear singing in the distance. Sounds like its coming from the theater.)"; accomplish accomp1; remove cheerleader from play; move cheerleader2 to theatre; Instead of giving towel to the cheerleader: say "'Here,' you offer, wrapping the cheerleader in the towel in a display of warm yet chaste generosity. 'After you've toweled off, applied some baby powder, maybe changed into a nice sundress, I thought we'd walk hand-in-hand down to the lake to feed the ducks, laughing gaily in the sunshine. Then we can spend the afternoon picking out bridesmaid dresses - I was thinking spring, so I'm tending towards a pale lilac, but this is something we really need to decide together.'[p]'Jesus fucking Christ,' she howls, 'boundary issues much? Get out of the changing room before I call the police.'[p]'Welp, I tried,' you sigh, and kill her anyway."; accomplish accomp1; remove cheerleader from play; move cheerleader2 to theatre; cheerleader2 is a woman. "You can see a cheerleader hanging out here, practicing for next week's talent show. Sounds like... 'Mack The Knife.' Mouth wide open, eyes closed, the cheerleader fails to notice that you have entered the room." The printed name of cheerleader2 is "cheerleader". Understand "nick", "cave" or "girl" as cheerleader2. The description of cheerleader2 is "It's actually Nick Cave[popstar 2]. In a dress. Now that is fucking scary. Kill it! Kill it! (Footnote Three)[note 100]" Instead of attacking cheerleader2: say "You saunter up to the singing cheerleader. [br]'Hey!' you scream. 'Look at me!'[br]The cheerleader looks, and is frozen with fear.[br]Dashing up onto the stage, you croon 'Memories' from *Cats.* Your soprano voice lilts like clouds of spun helium-gold.[br]The cheerleader immediately dies of intense jealousy.[br](You hear puking in the distance. Sounds like its coming from the caff.)"; remove cheerleader2 from play; now cheerleader3 is in cafeteria; cheerleader3 is a woman. "There is absolutely nothing funny about eating disorders. Nothing at all. The fact that while thousands of third-world kids starve to death, this cheerleader here sticks her finger down her throat in fear of gaining half a pound, this in no way strikes you as being a situation worthy of ridicule." The printed name of cheerleader3 is "cheerleader". The description of cheerleader3 is "It actually is a puking cheerleader. Go figure." Instead of giving tasty food to cheerleader3: say "'Jesus, woman, eat a fucking sandwich,' you yell at the vomiting cheerleader. 'Real women have curves, so put some meat on those bones. I can't abide skinny chicks. I'm not really sure what's in this thing but it's got to have, like, a thousand calories. Chow down, neckbones.'[p]Heartened by this touching affirmation of body-positive outlook, the cheerleader gets her convulsive sobs under control and consumes a moderate and healthy portion of the tasty food, resolving to focus on staying happy and healthy in future. She promptly expires from foodborne botulism.[p](You hear giggling in the distance. Sounds like its coming from near the lockers.)"; remove tasty food from play; now tasty food is not safe; remove cheerleader3 from play; now cheerleader4 is in Samhain Hallway; Instead of kissing a woman when the current game is Samhain: say "Nothing practical results from your putting the mack-daddy on." Instead of attacking cheerleader3: say "You booga-booga-booga at the vomiting cheerleader.[br]She looks at you and tries to scream, but her hand is still elbow-deep in her mouth.[br]'Oh my God,' you shout at her, 'your thighs are freaking huge! Like elephants or something!'[br]She begins crying, and curls into a small, vomit-streaked ball.[br]Eventually, after getting addicted to heroin and crack in an attempt to eat even less, she is forced by her family to enter a body-image acceptance facility (read: nut house). Slowly, over several months, she learns to love herself for who she is-- and screw those impossibly-thin supermodels parading through the fashion magazines, who perpetuate an unhealthy stereotype. The cheerleader emerges a confident, mature, balanced young woman. Her parents take her to Chez Ooo-La-La to celebrate.[br]Whereupon she eats some bad brie, and immediately succumbs to food poisoning[note 215].[br](You hear giggling in the distance. Sounds like its coming from near the lockers.)"; remove cheerleader3 from play; now cheerleader4 is in Samhain Hallway; cheerleader4 is a woman. "You can see a cheerleader hanging out here, toking on a bowl of herbal refreshment." The description of cheerleader4 is "It's actually Tori Amos[popstar 3]. If she'd been a cornflake girl, this is not really, this is not really, this is not really happening." Understand "tori" or "amos" as cheerleader4. The printed name of cheerleader4 is "cheerleader". Instead of attacking cheerleader4: say "You grab the doobage away from the stoned cheerleader.[br]She looks at you and tries to scream, but she's too uh-huh, you know, I mean, goddamn, this is some gooooooooooooood shit![br]'Yo!' you scream. 'Why don't you inhale on YOUR OWN FUCKING DEATH!' you say, trying to establish a memorable catchphrase.[br]The cheerleader giggles so hard she pisses herself. 'You're a freak, boy,' she says. 'Wanna do the nasty?'[br]'No,' you say. 'I'm saving myself for marriage. You see, casual sex may not seem like a big deal. You may think, Hey, everyone else does it. You may think, But it's a natural thing. You may decide, But that obese and smelly man with the videocamera is offering me thirty-two bucks and a ride in his El Camino. Well, the truth is-'[p]The cheerleader gets bored and wanders off.[br](You hear moaning and wailing in the distance. Sounds like its coming from the gym.)"; remove cheerleader4 from play; now cheerleader5 is in Gym; cheerleader5 is a female person. "An adorable, brunette waif of a cheerleader is here, making odd moaning and wailing noises for no apparent reason[lady 6]." The description of cheerleader5 is "It's actually Bjork[popstar 4]. (Footnote forty[note 101])". The printed name of cheerleader5 is "cheerleader". Understand "bjork" or "waif" as cheerleader5. To decide whether Bjork has struck: let Z be 0; choose row with a count of 16 in the Table of Deaths; if the achieved entry is true, now Z is Z + 1; choose a row with a count of 17 in the Table of Deaths; if the achieved entry is true, now Z is Z + 1; choose a row with a count of 18 in the Table of Deaths; if the achieved entry is true, now Z is Z + 1; if Z is 3, yes; no. Instead of attacking cheerleader5: say "You attempt to attack the waif.[br]Idiot! Haven't you examined *any* of these cheerleaders you're trying to kill off? You can't murder BJORK! (Footnote Fifty[note 102]) She gives you a spinning roundhouse kick![p]Bjork goes bjerk! She lets loose with a high-pitched Icelandic wail, sending shivers up and down your spine till your head (and all the glass in the immediate area) explodes!"; wait for any key; deathify 16; if Bjork has struck begin; carry out the concluding activity with Samhain; otherwise; carry out the escaping activity with Samhain; end if; Instead of kissing cheerleader5: say "You kissy-kissy on her face.[p]'Mmmm,' she says. 'I'm soooooo tense. Why don't we go to the shower room? You can give me a massage. I want to be NEKKID and STEAMY STEAMY HOT. I am ever-so ever-so delicious. Gee, but what if my friend is in there?' She giggles. 'Well, I guess she can join in-'[p]'Wait, wait, wait,' you say. 'This is starting to sound like a porno.'[p]Bjork is confused. 'This is a porno. Why do you think all these cheerleaders are all over the place? Hello, script-impaired much?'[p]'Oh. Gee.' You shrug. 'Damn,' you say, 'is my face ever red. Sorry [']bout all the murder. I assumed that was what I was supposed to do.'[p]'Actually,' Bjork says, 'your face is orange.'[p]'Oh, stop nitpicking, silly-head,' you say, and kill her anyway. But by then, the porn-flick's director has called the cops, who haul your ass off to the electric chair.[p]Mmmmmm, pumpkin pie."; wait for any key; deathify 17; if Bjork has struck begin; carry out the concluding activity with Samhain; otherwise; carry out the escaping activity with Samhain; end if; Understand "bite [something]" as tasting. Instead of tasting cheerleader5: say "You attempt to bite the waif.[p]'Hey!' Bjork shouts. She gives you a hard swat. 'Stop that! Somebody help me!'[p]Ozzy Osborne[popstar 5] dashes into the room, and grabs you. 'I am so incredibly and unbelieveably fucking drunk,' he announces, and bites your head off."; wait for any key; deathify 18; if Bjork has struck begin; carry out the concluding activity with Samhain; otherwise; carry out the escaping activity with Samhain; end if; Instead of eating cheerleader5: try tasting cheerleader5. shower nozzles are fixed in place in Shower Room. shower nozzles are a device. shower nozzles are switched on. The description of shower nozzles is "Silver and deadly. Like spam. If spam were silver." Shower Room For Boys is northwest of Gym. "Fine. Whatever[bathe 2]. But there's nothing in here." Shower Room For Boys is watery. AV Club is west of Gym. "Someday, after about a billion bake sales and car washes, maybe they'll earn enough cash to buy some goddamn projectors and videocameras and cool shit like that. Right now the only equipment the club possesses seems to be a videotape of Jeri Ryan nekkid[note 130]. Ain't nothing wrong with that. The gym is to the south. Shit! I mean, to the, um, east." the television is fixed in place in AV Club. The description of television is "It's some film the AV Club made, a low-budget pseudo-documentary about some kids running around in the woods, chased by a legendary witch-- bad camera work, no script, it's obviously brilliant. Eventually, the movie degrades into scenes of the one guy left alive repeatedly asking the one girl left alive, 'You wanna do it? We probably won't ever get outta these woods, ya know. I brought rubbers. Can I at least cop a feel, sweetie?' It is indeed quite clearly 'the most brilliant, powerful, innovative and terrifying film franchise since those godawful *Police Academy* movies.' -- Roger Sneebert". Instead of switching on television, say "That's not something you can switch[note 162]." Understand "tv" as television. Nurse Station is southwest of Hallway2. "Band-Aids. Cotton swabs. Rubbing alcohol. A nice comfy cot. Thanks to budget cuts, there are none of those things here. You get injured, it's pretty much up to you to tear your football jersey into torinquets. The exit is northeast." Britney Spears is a woman in Nurse Station. "You can see Britney Spears here[popstar 6]. She has a boo-boo." The description of Britney Spears is "It's teen singing sensation Britney Spears. *End holodeck program, computer. Computer? Hello? Locate Piccard. Hello?*" boo-boo is an unimplement in Nurse Station. Understand "boo boo" or "boo" as boo-boo. Instead of asking Britney about something: try kissing Britney. Instead of telling Britney about something: try kissing Britney. Instead of answering Britney that some text: try kissing Britney. Instead of kissing Britney: say "'You're special!' Britney says, and chews on her tail." Instead of attacking Britney: say "Nooooo! What the hell is wrong with you?![p]Britney is afraid and sad and begins to sniffle.[p]Poor Britney![p]Love on the Britney! Noogie on her head! She was good today. She ate all her peas and when she colored she stayed inside the lines. Yay! Good Britney![p]Britney claps her hands and giggles. :)[p]'We're all special cause God don't make junk!' Britney says, and blows you a kiss."; Instead of giving medicine to Britney: say "Britney is all better! Yay! We shall not pass comment upon the merits of her entertainment work here, as (the basic health and well-being of all humans being equally valuable [i]prima facie[/i] and aesthetic quality having no direct correspondence to ethical value) it is an issue of no particular pertinence![p]Britney skips outside to play in the sunshine and daisies!"; remove the noun from play; remove Britney from play; now the noun is not safe; accomplish accomp9; Instead of giving Phial to Britney: say "Britney is all better! Yay! We shall not pass comment upon the merits of her entertainment work here, as (the basic health and well-being of all humans being equally valuable [i]prima facie[/i] and aesthetic quality having no direct correspondence to ethical value) it is an issue of no particular pertinence![p]Britney skips outside to play in the sunshine and daisies!"; remove the noun from play; remove Britney from play; now the noun is not safe; accomplish accomp9; Part 5 - Sweet Sixteen [TODO: several rooms cooking the steak Your score is 0 out of a possible 145.[br]You have taken 19 minutes.[p]END OF GAME] Sweet Sixteen is a game in startroom. The precis of Sweet Sixteen is "[set link 504][bold type]Sweet Sixteen[roman type][end link] by Anonymous (1986)". The description of Sweet Sixteen is "[b]Sweet Sixteen[/b][line break]by Anonymous[br] Pornographic[line break] 1986 [note 10][line break]Development System: Adventure Master[p][b]Tags:[/b] sexual content (130) strong profanity (78)[p][co]You're not averse to porn games in principle, though AIF is generally disappointing in numerous ways. But you have a vague word-of-mouth recollection that this one is particularly bad news. After [/i]Deadly Climax[i] it's not really as if anything is likely to shock you, but it might make for a less icky trip to avoid it. And if not, to at least keep your safety line in mind.[/co][p][set link 524][b]Open it up.[/b][end link][br][set link 514][b]Write it off.[/b][end link]". Instead of opening Sweet Sixteen: wait for any key; clear the screen; say "[b]MADAM FIFI'S WHORE-HOUSE[/b] Adventure[paragraph break]Do you need the instructions?"; wait for any key; say "[co]Hold up, hold up, that's a different game entirely. Oh, okay, whoever uploaded this helpfully packaged a bunch of C64 porn games together in such a way that for some reason the emulator loads Madam Fifi automatically? Ugh. Thankfully, with the power of the web you never have to look far for a ROM of an old C64 game.[/co]"; wait for any key; clear the screen; say "The school year at Kenwood Academy[note 22] has just started, and one of the most awesomely beautiful girls in Hyde Park has transferred here from Lab School this year. Being the school stud, your buddies have bet you $500 that you won't be able to score with her. You decide to take them up on the bet and follow her home[note 11].[p][b]Sweet Sixteen: An ML KID adventure.[br]Version number 2.3 Released 05/26/1986[br]Written with AdventureWriter[note 154], a product[br]of the CodeWriter Corporation. [note 12][/b][p]"; wardrobe-change the blue suede suit; move the player to frontporch; Instead of examining the player when the current game is Sweet Sixteen: say "[co]You're undescribed, but hazily resemble a generic 80s douchebag kid - part Matthew Broderick, part Emilio Estevez.[/co]"; To reset Sweet Sixteen: move the player to frontporch; now garagecall is false; now Nova-follow is false; The saferoom of Sweet Sixteen is frontporch. A thing can be notable or noteless. A thing is usually noteless. Instead of examining something when the current game is Sweet Sixteen: if the noun is safe or the noun is the player, continue the action; if the noun is notable or the noun is an unimplement begin; continue the action; otherwise; say "You see nothing special."; end if; The creep factor is a number that varies. The creep factor is 0. Every turn when the current game is Sweet Sixteen (this is the creepiness ceiling rule): if the creep factor > 9 begin; say "[co]Okay, you're pretty skeeved out by this point. Looking ahead in the walkthrough, it seems as though this thing goes on for a while, and also that the victory conditions involve chains. Unclear if it's rapey, but... probably better to skip ahead quickly... yes, okay, that's pretty vile. It's really quite depressing that you're entirely unshocked by that. NEXT.[p]Jeez. It's not as though people don't have a perfect right to their creepy-ass fantasies, appropriately flagged and sandboxed, but this is some skeevy amateur-night shit. Blurgh.[/co]"; carry out the concluding activity with Sweet Sixteen; end if; To say creep: now the creep factor is the creep factor + 1; a blue suede suit is a masc notable outfit. The description of blue suede suit is "[if the current game is Sweet Sixteen]You see nothing special[note 13][otherwise]It's the sort of suit that a sweaty-palmed kid from the 80s would think appropriate for a sophisticated ladies['] man. It makes you feel kind of crawly[end if]." The hisp of blue suede suit is "traje de gamuza azul". Understand "traje" or "gamuza" or "azul" or "traje de gamuza azul" as blue suede suit. After printing the name of a wearable thing (called foo) when player wears foo and the current game is Dracula: say " (siendo llevado)"; rule succeeds; frontporch is a room. The description of frontporch is "You are standing on the front porch of the house. There is an oak door leading into the house here.[p]OK dickweed, what do you wanna do now?" Rule for printing the name of frontporch: do nothing. ringing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "ring" or "knock" or "ring bell" as ringing. Instead of ringing in frontporch: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]She looks you over, pausing briefly to look at the bulge that has formed in your pants, and then introduces herself as [b]Nova Tilland[/b]. You figure that she probably wouldn't let you in if you told her that you were here on a bet[first time][creep][only][note 23], so you make up this story about how your car (which you brought with you) has died out in front of her house and that you were wondering if you could use her phone to call a garage. At first she doesn't say anything, looking over your shoulder to see if she can see a dead car. After a minute or two she makes up her mind and lets you in and shows you to the phone.[p]More..."; wait for any key; move the player to Entrance Hallway; Instead of ringing in frontporch when the player carries chain: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]Catching sight of the chain, she pales and slams the door. Well, looks as though this is a bust. You turn to leave.[p]The door re-opens behind you. Nova is standing in the doorway with a shotgun raised to one shoulder, in a worryingly practiced three-quarter stance. You don't even have time to raise a hand before you catch a slug to the chest; as you stagger, she pumps a second round into the chamber and fires again, and again..."; deathify 6; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with the current game; Instead of ringing in frontporch when the horse is ridden: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl[br]you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]'I'm on a horse,' you observe suavely. [The horse] snorts for emphasis.[p]'So I see,' she says. Dammit, aren't chicks meant to sploosh where horses are concerned?[p]'So, uh, my horse has broken down, and I need to use your phone to call... maybe a farrier I guess?' you hazard.[p]'It looks fine to me.'[p]'No, seriously, he could drop dead any second. Just let me in your house.'[p]'All right, you and your mule have got ten seconds to get off the property before I go all Castle Doctrine.'[p]Well, that settles that. At least you've got a ride home."; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with the current game; Instead of ringing in frontporch when the player wears pajamas: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]'Hey baby,' you leer. 'You didn't tell me to bring my pajamas, but...'[p]You receive an incredulous glare.[p]'Okay, okay, I have more. Something about... you're my dream because... look, because of the pajamas, it's seriously pretty funny.'[p]The door slams."; Instead of ringing in frontporch when the player wears nurse dress: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]There is a moment of awkward silence as she takes in your outfit.[p]'Prehistoric... nurse... stripogram?' she asks, eventually. 'I wish I could say with any confidence that you've got the wrong house. Fine, I guess come in.'"; now garagecall is true; wait for any key; move the player to Entrance Hallway; Instead of ringing in frontporch when the player wears mages cloak: say "From inside the house you hear the sound of footsteps approaching and then the door opens. Standing in the doorway is what has to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Through her skimpy halter top you can see her nipples just waiting to be tended to. She is also wearing a full-length skirt which flaps in the wind giving you a tantalizing view of her shapely legs.[p]'Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?', you begin, totally leading in to a bitchin['] classic-meme joke.[p]I guess they didn't have bash.org in the eighties, or something? You skip over the details and just yell 'I PUT ON MY ROBE AND -', but you're interrupted by the door slamming."; Instead of ringing: say "[co]That is evidently no help here.[/co]" the Tilland's front door is scenery in frontporch. Instead of doing something to Tilland's front door: say "You can't." Instead of examining the Tilland's front door: say "You see nothing special." Entrance Hallway is a room. The description of Entrance Hallway is "This is the main hallway of the first floor. Nearby, on a small table you can see a telephone.[p]To the north is a staircase. There are also exits going east, west, and northwest."; telephone is an unimplement in Entrance Hallway. Understand "phone" as telephone. fake Nova is a scenery notable woman in Entrance Hallway. Understand "girl" or "Tilland" or "her" as fake Nova. Instead of doing something to fake Nova: say "She isn't here, dipstick[note 163]." Instead of kissing fake Nova: say "She isn't here, dipstick[note 163]." Every turn while the player is in Entrance Hallway and garagecall is false: say "Nova looks up from what she is doing and smiles at you provocatively[one of][or][or][note 14][or][stopping]." Every turn when the current game is Sweet Sixteen: if the player is not in Entrance Hallway and the player is not in frontporch and garagecall is false begin; say "Nova follows you into the room and looks at you with a frown on her face. She then proceeds to tell you that you were to call the garage, not walk all around the house. She then yells for her father, a huge man over six and a half feet tall, who comes in carrying a 22-guage shotgun [note 21]. When he sees you he puts the barrel of the gun to your head and tells you to leave. This you promptly do, less[note 203] you get your head blown off. Looks like old Spike[note 15] ain't gonna do no fishing in Nova's pond[note 110] today.[p][b]You Lose!![/b][p]If I were you I would start trying to figure out how to pay off a $500 bet, of which you haven't a single cent.[p]"; deathify 1; wait for any key; reset Sweet Sixteen; end if; Fucking is an action applying to one thing. Understand "fuck [something]" as fucking. Nova-real is a notable woman. Understand "girl" or "Tilland" or "her" or "woman" as Nova. Nova-real is notable. The description of Nova is "Nova has what you would call a real bitching bod!! Her cheek bones are just right and she knows how to wear her hair and put on make-up[note 89]. She has the most beautiful baby-blue eyes and her hair is a really nice brown. She is wearing a halter top with is practically see-through, so you have a super view of her full, firm tits with their nipples sticking out hard[first time][creep][only]. She also has on high heals[note 145] and a plaid skirt which helps make her look even better (not to mention it makes it easier to get at her golden pond[note 110]). On a scale of one to ten, she rates about a fifteen[note 88]." Instead of fucking Nova-real: say "Nova just isn't ready to be fucked yet. She turns around and kicks your balls clear through to China. You let out a scream in pain which her father hears. He comes running in carrying a 22-guage shotgun[note 21], and when Nova tells him you tried to fuck her he blasts you balls off at point blank. Good job, bumblefuck. You sure know how to get a castration. Looks like old Spike ain't gonna do no fishing in anyone's pond[note 110] ever again.[p][b]You Lose!![/b]If I were you I would start trying to figure out how to pay off a $500 bet, of which you haven't a single cent[note 111]."; deathify 2; wait for any key; reset Sweet Sixteen; Nippletending is an action applying to nothing. Understand "tend nipples" or "tend to nipples" or "tend nipple" or "tend to nipple" as nippletending. Instead of nippletending in the presence of Nova-real: nippletweak. Instead of nippletending in the presence of fake Nova: nippletweak. Carry out nippletending: say "[m38]"; To nippletweak: say "You can't[note 202]."; Nova-real is in Nova's Bedroom. Instead of kissing Nova-real: say "She blushes." The printed name of Nova-real is "Nova". Following is an action applying to one thing. Understand "follow [something]" as following. Instead of following something: say "[co][The noun] isn't going anywhere.[/co]". Instead of following a person: say "[co]That'd be kind of creepy, don't you think?[/co]". Instead of following Nova: say "You can't." Nova-follow is a truth-state that varies. Nova-follow is false. A persuasion rule for asking Nova to try following the player: rule succeeds. Instead of Nova following the player: say "You tell Nova to follow you, which she promptly agrees to[note 172]."; now Nova-follow is true; Every turn (this is the wandering star rule): if the current game is Sweet Sixteen and garagecall is true begin; if Nova-follow is true begin; move Nova-real to the location of player; otherwise; let X be the location of Nova-real; let destin be a random room which is adjacent to X; move Nova-real to destin; end if; if the location of the player is the location of Nova-real, say "Nova comes in, sees you, and smiles at you provocatively[lady 1]."; end if; Instead of giving medicine to Nova-real: say "[co]'Hey, I'll bet you need this medicine,' you leer at Nova, 'since I heard your beaver was [i]sick[/i].' This is perhaps the grossest pick-up line in the history of sexual selection, and Nova treats it as such.[/co]"; Calling about is an action applying to one topic. Understand "call [text]" as calling about. garagecall is a truth-state that varies. garagecall is false. Instead of calling about some text in Entrance Hallway: if the topic understood matches the text "garage" begin; say "You call the number of the house where your buddies are staying, making it look like you are calling a garage. [if player carries beaver][co]'Guess what, buddies-o-mine,' you swagger. 'You'd better get ready to pay up, cuz I've already got myself some [i]sick beaver[/i].' You hold up the rodent in question. A rimshot is not forthcoming.[p]Nova raises an unimpressed eyebrow and says... whatever people said in 1986 when they meant 'what the fuck'. Let's go with 'swounds.' But she still lets you stick around and invites you to look around her house, for reasons opaque to anybody expecting NPCs to behave like humans[/co][otherwise]They have arranged to get a tow truck, but it will be a little over four hours before they get here. Before hanging up, they tell you that unless you have proof of the encounter, you will automatically lose the bet[note 16]. You then hand up and tell Nova how long it will take. She shrugs her shoulders and says you can look around the house in the meantime[note 218]. Before you can say anything else, she disappears down the hall[end if]."; now garagecall is true; end if; Stairs is north of Entrance Hallway. The description of Stairs is "You are on the first floor level of the spiral staircase that allows all up and down movement within the house.[p]To the south is the entrance hallway. Stairs lead both up and down from here." Stairs2 is down from Stairs. "You are on the bottom level of the spiral staircase that allows all up and down movement within the house.[p][if secret panel is in Stairs2][otherwise]You can hear a squeak come from the stairs as you move up and down them.[p][end if]To the south is the basement. Stairs also lead up from here." The printed name of Stairs2 is "Stairs". stairs-item are scenery in Stairs2. The printed name of stairs-item is "stairs". Instead of examining stairs-item when secret panel is not in Stairs2: say "You look under the stairs and see that someone has put a secret panel in the west wall."; secret panel is a container. secret panel is scenery, closed and locked. Understand "hidden" as secret panel. Every turn when the player is in Stairs2 and secret panel is in Stairs2: if secret panel is closed, say "You can also see a hidden panel in the west wall here."; if secret panel is open, say "You can see a panel lying here which somebody has removed from in front of a hidden passage in the west wall."; strange key unlocks secret panel. Instead of opening secret panel: say "You move the panel off to the side to reveal a hidden room."; Secret Room is a dark room. "You are in a secret room that has been put in by Nova's brother. He has put up so many centerfolds from Hustler and Penthouse that you can't even see what the walls look like[note 156]. There is also a mattress which has been covered with come stains and which also has springs that no longer have any spring to them because he has humped so many girls on it[first time][creep][creep][creep][only].[p]The only exit is to the east." a funny-looking fixture is fixed in place in Secret Room. Rule for writing a paragraph about funny-looking fixture: say "You can also see:[br]A funny-looking fixture on the wall" Attic is south of Stairs4. Attic is a dark room. The description of Attic is "This is the attic of the house. Lying on the floor amongst the various odds and ends is a brand new mattress that is already covered in come stains.[p]The only exit is to the north." a attic-cabinet is a container. attic-cabinet is fixed in place in Attic. attic-cabinet is openable and closed. Rule for printing the name of attic-cabinet: if attic-cabinet is closed begin; if padlock is part of attic-cabinet begin; say "a closed cabinet with a[if padlock is locked] locked[otherwise]n open[end if] silver padlock on it"; otherwise; say "a closed cabinet"; end if; otherwise; say "An open cabinet"; end if; silver padlock is part of attic-cabinet. padlock can be lockable. padlock is lockable. padlock can be locked or unlocked. padlock is locked. Instead of unlocking attic-cabinet with something: say "It's the padlock that needs to be unlocked, not the cabinet." Instead of taking padlock: if padlock is unlocked begin; if the current game is Sweet Sixteen begin; now player carries silver padlock; try looking; otherwise; continue the action; end if; otherwise; say "You can't."; end if; Rule for printing the name of attic-cabinet while looking: say "[if open]An open[otherwise]A closed[end if] cabinet[if silver padlock is part of attic-cabinet and silver padlock is locked] with a locked silver padlock on it[end if][if silver padlock is part of attic-cabinet and silver padlock is unlocked]with an open silver padlock on it[end if]"; Instead of opening attic-cabinet when padlock is part of attic-cabinet: say "You can't."; After opening attic-cabinet: say "When you open the cabinet a chain falls out[one of][creep][or][note 210][stopping]."; now five-foot chain is in Attic; a five-foot chain is a notable thing. Rule for printing the name of five-foot chain: if the current game is Sweet Sixteen begin; say "a five foot long chain with a pair of handcuffs on one end and a socket at the other"; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "cadena muy inquietante"; otherwise; say "the creepy-ass chain"; end if; Instead of examining chain: if the current game is Sweet Sixteen begin; say "[co]Custom bondage equipment is so expensive that you'd almost class it as treasure, but custom bondage equipment designed by grody little wannabes from the eighties is unlikely to be worth the metal it's made of.[/co]"; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "¡Dios mío! ¡Ningún hombre verdadero usaría ese equipo bondage incompetente hecho!"; otherwise; say "Custom bondage equipment is so expensive that you'd almost class it as treasure, but custom bondage equipment designed by grody little wannabes from the eighties is unlikely to be worth the metal it's made of."; end if; Basement is south of Stairs2. "There is a clothes washer and dryer here. Lying on top of the washer is a basket of dirty clothes waiting to be washed. Another basket of clean clothes sits on the floor.[p]The only exit is to the north." the dirty clothes is in Basement. dirty clothes is scenery. Understand "laundry" or "basket" as dirty clothes. the clean clothes is in Basement. clean clothes is scenery. Understand "basket" as clean clothes. Instead of examining dirty clothes for the first time: say "Searching through the dirty clothes you find several soiled silk panties with the name Heather embroidered on the outside, right where her pussy would be[first time][creep][creep][only]. Wishful thinking causes you to have an erection, but it doesn't last long. You also find a small key in the breast pocket of a pink satin blouse."; now cute little pink key is in the Basement; cute little pink key is a tiny thing. The hisp of pink key is "llavecita rosado lindo". Understand "llavecita" or "rosado" or "lindo" as cute little pink key. The description of cute little pink key is "A small metal key that has been coated, for obscure reasons, in pink lacquer." Stairs3 is up from Stairs. "You are on the second floor level of the spiral staircase that allows all up and down movement within the house.[p]The second floor hallway is to the south. Stairs lead up and down from here." The printed name of Stairs3 is "Stairs". Second Floor Hallway is south of Stairs3. "This is the main hallway of the second floor[note 112]. The only thing you notice here is the music coming from the room to the south.[p]To the north is the staircase. Exits also lead east, west, northeast, and south." Nova's Brother's Room is east of Second Floor Hallway. "This is the bedroom of Nova's brother[note 138]. It is pretty much featureless with the exception of a circular bed which has been placed in the exact center of the room. On the bed is a newspaper put out by the religious cult which her brother belongs to. The cover story is about the various things that will be happening at some special event that[br]is going on today. Looks to me like you don't have to worry about bumping into Nova's brother today.[p]Exits lead west to a second floor hallway and south into a closet." Nova's Brother's Closet is south of Nova's Brother's Room. "This is where Nova's brother keeps all his clothes and other possessions. On the east wall is a cabinet which has been left open.[p]The only exit is to the north." the newspaper is an unimplement in Nova's Brother's Room. the brother's cabinet is scenery in Nova's Brother's Closet. Instead of examining brother's cabinet: try searching brother's cabinet. Instead of searching brother's cabinet: say "You go through his clothes, noting some of the women's clothes he has[first time][creep][only]. While searching through the pockets of a trench coat reminiscent of the thirties you find a silver key[note 139]."; now silver key is in Nova's Brother's Closet. a silver key is a notable tiny thing. The hisp of silver key is "llave de plata". silver key unlocks silver padlock. Understand "llave" or "plata" or "llave de plata" as silver key. The description of silver key is "[co]A small and slightly sticky key. Yuck.[/co]" Nova's Father's Room is west of Second Floor Hallway. "This is the bedroom of Nova's father[note 113]. Besides the bed the only other thing in here are several issues of 'Sniper, The Magazine for Gunmen'.[p]To the east is the second floor hallway and to the north is a closet." Sniper Magazine is notable burnable scenery in Nova's Father's Room. The description of Sniper Magazine is "You pick up the magazine and start to read it. While flipping through it an article on Khadafy's favorite weapon catches your eye. It seems that he doesn't really have one in particular, he just likes any one that will make a guy's head explode when you shoot [']em. This doesn't surprise you much. After looking through a few other articles you drop the magazine on the floor." Instead of taking Sniper Magazine: say "You can't." Nova's Father's Closet is north of Nova's Father's Room. "The only thing in here is a bunch of business suits hanging from a bar suspended under a shelf.[p]The only way out is to the south." business suits are scenery in Nova's Father's Closet. shelf is notable scenery in Nova's Father's Closet. Instead of examining shelf: say "You find an unused roll of 36 exposure color negative film."; now 35mm is in Nova's Father's Closet; the 35mm colour negative film is a burnable notable thing. The description of 35mm negative film is "[co]It's a standard roll of film from back in the pre-chimping era.[/co]" Nova's Bedroom is south of Second Floor Hallway. "The first thing you notice in here are the wall to wall U2 posters. On a table in the corner is a compact disc player which is currently playing the U2 album October. You can also see all the other U2 albums[note 20] lying on the table too, as well as A Flock Of Seagulls' first album[note 114].[p]In the opposite corner is a desk with many different pictures of Nova, most of which have another girl in them too. You find one which is just of the other girl which has been signed, 'To Nova, Love Heather[note 115]'[p]There is also a king-size waterbed with very feminine pink sheets here and an open closet to the west. To the north is the second floor hallway[first time][creep][only]." The printed name of Nova's Bedroom is "Nova's Room". Novacloset is west of Nova's Bedroom. "It seems that Nova likes pink, for everything in here is coloured[note 211] pink. Even the clothes dresser in here is pink. Lying on the dresser are some more CDs, including some by the Dream Academy, the Hooters, and Simon and Garfunkel[note 116].[p]The only exit is to east." The printed name of Novacloset is "Nova's Closet". a dresser is scenery in Novacloset. "There is a drawer in the dresser." Nova's drawer is a closed openable container. It is part of dresser. After opening Nova's drawer for the first time: now the creep factor is the creep factor + 1. some of Nova's clothes are in Nova's drawer. Instead of taking some of Nova's clothes: say "You can't." a vibrator is a notable masc thing in Nova's drawer. Rule for printing the name of vibrator while taking inventory: say "[if the current game is Dracula]vibrador muy utilizado[otherwise]much used vibrator[end if]"; The description of vibrator is "[co]It'd seem that vibrators were substantially less sophisticated back in the mid-80s. And second-hand sex toys are a tough sell. There are worlds in which this theoretically might be unique and valuable, but those don't generally have access to batteries. So, yeah, no way you can count this as a treasure.[/co]" The hisp of vibrator is "vibrador". Understand "vibrador" as vibrator. a diary is a masc notable burnable thing in Nova's drawer. diary can be lockable. diary is lockable. diary can be unlocked or locked. diary is locked. cute little pink key unlocks diary. The description of diary is "[co]A predictably pink book with a built-in locking clasp. Hidden or locked diaries are a staple of AIF, generally revealing insights into the teenage female psyche of a depth and erotic perspicacity unrivalled since the decline of the French lesbian spanking novel.[/co]" The hisp of diary is "diario de Nova". Understand "diario" or "diario de Nova" as diary. Does the player mean unlocking the diary with the cute little pink key: it is very likely. Instead of reading locked diary: say "You need to unlock it first." 16-bathroom is northeast of Second Floor Hallway. "This is your regular bathroom, complete with toilet, sink, bathtub with shower, and mirror.[bathe 3][p]The only way out is to the southwest." The printed name of 16-bathroom is "Bathroom". 16-bathroom is watery. a bar of soap is in 16-bathroom. bar of soap is notable. The hisp of soap is "barra de jabón". Understand "barra" or "jabon" or "barra de jabon" as bar of soap. The description of bar of soap is "[co]A quite ordinary bar of soap, white and vaguely scented.[/co]" Instead of reading diary: if the current game is Sweet Sixteen begin; say "It turns out that this is Nova's diary chronicling the events of her past[note 118].[p]From reading it you find out that five years ago, when Nova was eleven, she was raped by some man, causing her severe mental anguish and gave her an infection (which is gone now) that attacked her ovaries and made her sterile.[p]Ever since she was raped, Nova had been terrified of men and has shut them out, looking to female companionship..."; wait for any key; say "[p][co]...it goes on, but you've read more than enough here. So she was raped gay, and now, SPOILER ALERT, you are going to have to rape her straight again.[/co]"; wait for any key; now the creep factor is the creep factor + 9; otherwise; say "Honestly, you really don't want to find out what's in there."; end if; Living Room is east of Entrance Hallway. The description of Living Room is "This is the family living room. Sitting on a table in the corner is a radio which is currently playing an Ozzy Osbourne song [note 17]. There is also a sofa here where you can sit down to rest [note 18] for a little while. On another table in another corner is a television set which is currently out of service and needs to be repaired.[p]To the west is the entrance hallway." a cigarette lighter is a masc thing in Living Room. The hisp of lighter is "encendedor de cigarrillos". Understand "encendedor" or "encendedor de cigarillos" as lighter. The description of cigarette lighter is "A crappy disposable lighter, translucent purple. It looks nearly full, though." Instead of burning cigarette lighter when the current game is ARGH's: say "[co]You flick the lighter on and off a few times, in the hope of being acknowledged as some kind of god for your control over the red demon. Unfortunately, fire is some Middle Paleolithic shit, which is to say it's been old-school since [/i]erectus[i].[/co]"; Instead of burning cigarette lighter: say "[co][We] flip[-s] the lighter on and off[if a dark room encloses the player]. The light is not sufficient to see anything by[end if].[co]"; Instead of burning cigarette lighter when the current game is Sweet Sixteen: say "You can't." a full pack of cigarettes is a masc thing in Living Room. The hisp of cigarettes is "paquete de cigarrillos". Understand "paquete" or "cigarrillos" or "paquete de cigarillos" as cigarettes. The description of cigarettes is "A scrumpled packet of Lucky Strikes, half-empty." Understand "smoke [something]" as burning. Instead of burning cigarettes: if the current game is Sweet Sixteen begin; say "You take out a cigarette and are about to light it when you see the following sign on the side of the box:[p][b]Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, and may complicate Pregnancy.[p]You decide that your health means more to you than a cigarette so you put it back in the box[note 117]."; otherwise; say "Stressful as this job gets, you need good cardio capacity to get up those rock-faces, so you're limiting your intake. And you wouldn't really want to smoke these, anyway. You promise yourself a celebratory cigarrillo once you get back to the surface."; end if; Instead of burning something: say "[co]If you're going to aspirate heated particulate matter, you're sure as hell going to make sure it's something that will actually provide a decent buzz.[/co]"; the strange key is a tiny thing. The hisp of strange key is "extraña llave". Understand "llave" or "extrana" as strange key. The description of strange key is "You've seen so many keys in your career that it's rare you see one that can make you feel weird. This one, though, has an uncanny Reek of Wrongness about it." the couch is scenery in Living Room. radio is scenery in Living Room. TV is scenery in Living Room. Understand "sofa" as couch. Instead of entering couch: say "You sit down on what appears to be a nice soft sofa, but something seems sort of odd. You decide to investigate[note 19] and find that somebody has put a strange key underneath one of the cushions."; move strange key to the Living Room; Study is west of Entrance Hallway. The description of Study is "This is the study room for the family. One wall has been completely covered up by a fine oak bookcase which has every kind of book from a dictionary to a thirty-two volume encyclopedia on it[note 191], although most of them seem to be law books. There is also a table with a chair next to it here. On the table are several notepads and folders belonging to Nova's father. You look through them and find out that her father is one of the best lawyers in the state of Illinois, but most people stay away from him because he is particularly violent and always has some kind of gun with him. There is also a computer on the table.[p]The only exit from here is one that goes to the east." a computer is a device in Study. It is switched off. It is fixed in place. Instead of examining computer: say "You see nothing special." After printing the name of computer while looking: if computer is switched off, say " (currently off)"; Does the player mean switching on the computer: it is likely. computer disk is a masc thing. The hisp of computer disk is "disco para computadora". Understand "disco" or "computadora" or "disco para computadora" or "disc" as computer disk. The description of computer disk is "A 5 1/4['] disk. Its label is a crude Sharpie illustration of an ejaculating penis." Instead of selling the computer disk in the presence of a salesman: let N be a random salesman in the location; say "[co]Attempting a wink and nudge, you offer the [N] the disk from Sweet Sixteen; he asks you to stick around while he estimates its value. He has a little trouble getting it to run, but once he succeeds an odd look comes over his face, and ten minutes later you're surrounded by a lynch-mob. Apparently the villagers take a dim view of rapist advocacy.[/co]"; deathify 5; remove the computer disk from play; now the computer disk is unsafe; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with the current game; After printing the name of computer disk while taking inventory: if the current game is Dracula, say " (perverso)"; bookcase is scenery in the Study. Understand "bookshelf" or "books" as bookcase. Instead of searching bookcase: try examining bookcase. Instead of examining bookcase for the first time: say "As you go through the bookcase, you find a book titled '1001 Ways to Screw a Girl's Brains Out.' You take it out to read it and find that somebody has put a disk inside the front cover."; move the computer disk to the Study; Instead of switching on the computer: say "You must have a disk in order to boot up the computer.[note 28]"; Instead of switching on the computer when the player carries the computer disk: say "When you turn on the computer the disk drive starts to spin for a little while. After a few moments a database pops up, which you easily figure out how to use. You then search through it and find that it is the 'diary' of Nova's older brother. Upon further access of the database regarding Nova, you find that despite the way she acts like a wanton slut, showing off her body to every guy in sight, she is really afraid of being fucked by a guy (even though she enjoys nothing more than making intimate love to another woman, especially when it is with Heather, her best lover) and must be raped if she is to be had by a man.[p][co]There follows a rambly, ill-constructed and profoundly clueless paragraph about bondage logistics, but you get the general idea.[/co]"; wait for any key; say "[p][co]...yyyyeah, so AIF, listen, there is this thing you may have heard of called [i]not hating women[/i]. Know it sounds kind of outré, but still. Until then, it's definitely time to leave.[/co]"; wait for any key; now the creep factor is the creep factor + 10; Kitchen is northwest of Entrance Hallway. "This is your average kitchen, complete with cabinets, sink, and refrigerator. To the southeast is the entrance hallway. There is an open door to the north that leads into the back yard." Kitchen is watery. an electric stove is a device in Kitchen. It is fixed in place. electric stove is switched off. a kitchen cabinet is a container in kitchen. It is fixed in place. kitchen cabinet is openable and closed. a refrigerator is an openable container in kitchen. It is fixed in place. Understand "fridge" as refrigerator. refrigerator is closed. After switching on electric stove: say "OK." a large pan is in kitchen cabinet. The hisp of large pan is "sartén grande". Understand "sarten" or "grande" as large pan. The description of large pan is "A standard American cast-iron skillet, about twelve inches across and lethally heavy." a gardening spade is in kitchen cabinet. The hisp of gardening spade is "pala de jardinería". Understand "pala" or "jardineria" or "pala de jardineria" as gardening spade. The description of gardening spade is "An unremarkable square-bladed spade with a wooden handle." Digging is an action applying to nothing. Understand "dig" as digging. Carry out digging: say "You dig for a few minutes, but find nothing of interest."; digcount is a number that varies. digcount is 0. Instead of digging in Winding Trail: now digcount is digcount + 1; if digcount is 2 begin; say "You dig some more, and the spade hits on something hard. Encouraged, you dig deeper to uncover a metal container. You open the container and a very old and brittle map falls out."; now brittle map is in Winding Trail; otherwise; say "You dig for a few minutes, but find nothing of interest."; end if; a brittle map is a notable burnable thing. The description of brittle map is "You examine the map, being careful not to damage it. It seems that it is a map of the first floor of the house way back when it was first build. Although alot of it has changed since then, you can make out what looks like a room to the northeast of the entrance hallway." The printed name of brittle map is "very old and brittle map". Understand "very old" or "old" or "very old and" as brittle map. The hisp of brittle map is "mapa frágiles". Understand "mapa" or "fragiles" as brittle map. Instead of going northeast in entrance hallway: if the player carries brittle map begin; say "Using the map, you figure out where the door to the room should be. You then feel around for some way to open it. As you pass your hand over a small nail in the wall, the door springs open."; wait for any key; move the player to Old Hideaway; otherwise; say "You can't."; end if; Old Hideaway is a room. The description of Old Hideaway is "You are in a room covered with cobwebs and a layer of dust over an inch deep. It is quite clear theat nobody has been in here for years.[p]The room has several chairs and tables spread throughout it, all covered with white sheets to keep the dust off. You remove the sheet from one of the tables to reveal a 1927 newspaper[note 212]. You decide that things would best be left alone and put the sheet back over the table and newspaper.[p]The only exit is to the southwest." cobwebs are an unimplement in Old Hideaway. Understand "cobwebs" or "chair" or "chairs" or "tables" or "table" or "sheet" or "sheets" or "newspaper" as cobwebs. an SLR camera is in Old Hideaway. The printed name of SLR camera is "old 35mm SLR camera". SLR camera is valuable. The description of SLR camera is "It's just your basic SLR without any film in it[note 146]." The hisp of SLR camera is "SLR vieja". Understand "vieja" as SLR. SLR is notable. The epilogue of SLR camera is "the eBay proceeds from which cover your month's child support in three different metaverses" Instead of dropping brittle map in Old Hideaway: say "I wouldn't drop the map in here because you wouldn't be able to find the door again after you left[note 141]."; a steak is in refrigerator. steak is masc. steak is dog-et. The hisp of steak is "filete". Understand "filete" as steak. The description of steak is "Approximately a pound of raw Brazilian ribeye. [We]'ll have to give [our] inventory a thorough scrubbing-out later." Cooking is an action applying to one thing. Understand "cook [something]" as cooking. Instead of cooking something: say "[co][Our] limited culinary skills seem unlikely to improve [the noun].[/co]" Instead of cooking an animal: say "[co][We] [are*] fine with the cooking, but not so much the slaughtering.[/co]" The culinary preparation is a thing that varies. Instead of cooking something when the current game is Sweet Sixteen: if Daddy Tilland is not in Back Yard begin; say "[co]You have no interest in more cooking.[/co]"; stop the action; end if; if the player carries pan and electric stove is switched on and the player is in Kitchen begin; if the noun is comestible begin; say "Nova's father must have heard [the noun] cooking because you can see him coming this way from out the window."; now noun is in Kitchen; now pan is in Kitchen; now the culinary preparation is the noun; the hunger descends in 2 turns from now; otherwise; say "You can't[note 214]."; end if; otherwise; say "You can't[note 140]."; end if; [There are two potential kitchens in the game: the kitchen in Sweet Sixteen, the kitchen in Down and Out. The latter will only work if the oven is stoked. The following items may be cooked: the tasty food, the steak, the turkey drumstick, and the crimson fish.] A thing can be comestible. tasty food is comestible. steak is comestible. drumstick is comestible. crimson fish is comestible. Instead of cooking a comestible thing: say "[co]You don't have access to any suitable culinary equipment.[/co]" Instead of cooking steak when the location is bsh-kitchen: if brick oven is fiery begin; say "I manage to rustle up a skillet, some salt and pepper, and something that I hope is cooking oil, none of which will count as inventory items later. I flip the steak into the skillet, filling the kitchen with the aroma of seared cow. Delicious!"; if slave driver is in boathouse begin; say "Suddenly, I hear someone coming in at the garden door! Not wanting to be caught unawares in a strange house, I dart up the stairs. I hear someone barging around down there. After a minute or two, there's a satisfied burp, and the door slams again."; remove slave driver from play; now dormant driver is in bsh-garden; now slave driver's mask is in bsh-garden; accomplish accomp3; otherwise; say "Once it's medium-rare, I scarf it down as quickly as I can. Lest the barbecue smell attract bears, or something. Yeah, that's it."; end if; remove steak from play; otherwise; say "[co]The oven is too cool to cook anything.[/co]"; end if; the dormant driver is a man. The description of dormant driver is "Sprawled out on the wabe is a huge man in camo pants, snoring noisily. He looks as though he's sleeping off a large, protein-heavy meal." Understand "man" or "huge" or "sleeping" or "slave" as dormant driver. The printed name of dormant driver is "sleeping slave driver". Instead of cooking crimson fish when the location is bsh-kitchen: if brick oven is fiery begin; say "Back in the day, before walkthroughs, safety-lines and authorial conscience, it wasn't uncommon to get stuck in a game for weeks at a time, relying on a diet of red herrings to keep the hunger-daemons at bay. Like most old hands, I've accumulated a good number of recipes for the oily fish, and amnesia always makes me crave nostalgia food.[p]Something simple - I really just want a snack to keep me going! Let's clean it, turn it into fillets, dredge in flour, and pan-fry in butter. Wait, we can't eat all that oily fish without something to soak it up a little - we'll boil up just a handful of very small new potatoes and sear them in the pan first, and that combination is crying out to be served with something light and fresh with a clean mouth-feel, maybe creme fraiche with - well, dill would be the classic choice here, but I'm more in the mood for lemon basil.[p]So that's what I do. Well, that was scrumptious! What now?"; remove crimson fish from play; now crimson fish is not safe; otherwise; say "[co]The oven is too cool to cook anything.[/co]"; end if; Instead of cooking drumstick when the location is bsh-kitchen: if brick oven is fiery begin; say "Now this is a challenge. The turkey is dry and, you suspect, not very flavourful, and I think the objective here is really about using it as a base upon which to build more substantial tastes. Let's say a classic East Asian stir-fry: garlic, ginger, peppers, wok-fry with a neutral-flavoured oil, then build up some liquid - say mirin, soy sauce and a very conservative dash of lime juice - to moisten up the meat. I'll need to cut it moderately fine so that it absorbs through, this isn't a marinade, and thicken very slightly with cornstarch. Red pepper and ramps for garnish, squeeze some more lime juice fresh onto it, and serve on noodles.[p]Gosh, the kitchen smells pretty good now! And it's a total mess. I wonder where all those ingredients came from. Well, time to see how this tastes.[p]Oh dear. I don't feel very well at all. That'll teach me to source my meat from reliable sources! By which I mean, not lying around on the floor in an adventure game.[p][b]*** You have died ***[/b]"; deathify 20; otherwise; say "The oven is too cool to cook anything."; end if; Instead of cooking tasty food when the location is bsh-kitchen: if brick oven is fiery begin; say "Well, this is obviously some kind of home-canned preserve, and it's definitely meat of some kind. I bet whoever made it expected to eat it out of the jar, probably with their fingers or on the point of a dagger. So cooking it is a dicey proposition - it should be strong-flavoured enough to form the central note of a dish, but I want to avoid breaking that flavour down or making it too bland. So let's drain the juice and use that for a gravy, whip up a very small batch of mashed potatoes - no, something with a little more texture, let's say a risotto, and very lightly sear the pickled chunks, just enough to turn that coagulated fat into delicious sauce."; if slave driver is in boathouse begin; say "Suddenly, I hear someone coming in at the garden door! Not wanting to be caught unawares in a strange house, I dart up the stairs. I hear someone barging around down there. After a minute or two, there's a satisfied burp, and the door slams again."; remove slave driver from play; now dormant driver is in bsh-garden; now slave driver's mask is in bsh-garden; accomplish accomp3; otherwise; say "The result is delicious. Not necessarily more delicious than the straight-up pickle, but it has more of the feeling of a solid, warm meal."; end if; remove tasty food from play; otherwise; say "The oven is too cool to cook anything."; end if; At the time when the hunger descends: if the player is in Kitchen begin; say "Nova's father walks in carrying a 22-guage[note 21] shotgun. When he sees you he doesn't bother to ask why you are here, he just blows your head right off. Looks like old Spike ain't gonna do no fishing in anyone's pond anymore.[p][b]You Lose!![/b][br]If I were you I would start trying to figure out how to pay off a $500 bet, of which you haven't a single cent[note 111]."; deathify 19; otherwise if the current game is Sweet Sixteen; say "You can hear Nova's father eating [the culinary preparation], for he is a very noisy eater[if the player encloses steak][note 155][end if]. After that he finishes, you hear him tell Nova that he is going up to his room for a little while."; remove culinary preparation from play; now culinary preparation is not safe; move Daddy Tilland to Nova's Father's Room; end if; Back Yard is north of Kitchen. "You are standing in a yard behind the house. Most of the yard is taken up by a garden full of vegetables. A door leads back into the house to the south. To the east a trail snakes in and out of a dense area of trees." Daddy Tilland is a man in Back Yard. Daddy Tilland is scenery. Every turn while the player is in Back Yard and Daddy Tilland is in Back Yard: say "You walk in on Nova's father, which was a big mistake. He is over six and a half feet tall and has a 22-guage[note 21] shotgun with him. When he sees you he doesn't bother to ask what you are doing here, he just blows your head right off. Looks like old Spike[note 15] ain't gonna do no fishing in anyone's pond[note 110] ever again."; wait for any key; say "[p][b]You Lose!![/b][br]If I were you I would start trying to figure out how to pay off a $500 bet, of which you haven't a single cent[note 111]."; carry out the escaping activity with Sweet Sixteen; deathify 19; Winding Trail is east of Back Yard. "Your are on a trail that goes around the back of the house. You can't see much because of all the trees around you.[p]To the west is the back yard. The trail bends here and heads southeast." End of Trail is southeast of Winding Trail. "You are at the end of the winding trail. Against the wall of the house is a small shed which has been left open.[p]The only exit is a trail that goes to the northwest." the shed is scenery in End of Trail. Instead of examining shed for the first time: say "You find an old lantern."; move old lantern to End of Trail; Instead of examining shed: say "You can't."; an old lantern is a device. old lantern is switched off. The description of old lantern is "A compact propane lantern. More designed to stay in one place and light a campsite than to be carried around, but it'll serve." The hisp of old lantern is "linterna vieja". Understand "linterna" or "vieja" as old lantern. Instead of switching on old lantern: if the player does not carry lighter and the player does not carry matchbox and the player does not carry a match begin; say "You must have a lighter to do that."; otherwise; say "OK."; now old lantern is switched on; now old lantern is lit; end if; Stairs4 is up from Stairs3. "You are at the top level of the spiral staircase that allows all up and down movement within the house.[p]To the south is the attic. Stairs lead down from here." The printed name of Stairs4 is "Stairs". Part 6 - Dracula Episode 2 [TODO: Spanish object descriptions, verb responses, maybe the next section of the game?] Dracula 2 The Arrival is an unentitled game in startroom. The precis of Dracula is "[set link 505][bold type]Dracula Episode 2: The Arrival[roman type][end link] by Rod Pike (1986)[line break] 3/5 stars". Rule for printing the name of a thing (called foo) when the current game is Dracula 2: if the hisp of foo is "" begin; say the printed name of foo; otherwise; say the hisp of foo; end if; Instead of examining something (called foo) when the current game is Dracula 2: if the hisdesc of foo is "" begin; continue the action; otherwise; say the hisdesc of foo; end if; The description of Dracula is "[b]Dracula Episode 2: The Arrival[/b][line break]by Rod Pike[br]Literary/Vampire[line break]1986[line break]Development System: Inform 6[p][b]Tags:[/b] graphics (408) horror (81)[p][co]You have a brief moment of confusion about an Inform 6 game from 1986. But it turns out to be a port by El Clérigo Urbatain and Mapache. With a Spanish version, no less.[/co][p][set link 525][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]". Carry out opening Dracula: if Dracula is unplayed begin; say "[co]You're sorely tempted to try the Spanish version. You don't actually speak any Spanish, but you've got some bad French and terrible Latin, and you can guess half of what Romance languages mean from that, right? At least if they're written down. And you'll have the wise words of Loco Tio Zarf to guide you. Sure, let's give this a whirl.[/co]"; wait for any key; clear the screen; say "CRL PRESENTS[p]BRAM STOKER'S[p][b]DRACULA[/b][br]THE Arrival[br][p]FROM[br]ROD PIKE[p]REMAKE BY[br]mapache & El Clérigo Urbatain[p]"; wait for any key; spaniardise everything; move the player to spanish1; otherwise; say "CRL PRESENTS[p]BRAM STOKER'S[p][b]DRACULA[/b][br]THE Arrival[br][p]FROM[br]ROD PIKE[p]REMAKE BY[br]mapache & El Clérigo Urbatain[p]"; wait for any key; spaniardise everything; move the player to spanish1; end if; To spaniardise everything: let X be the list of things carried by the player; let Z be the list of things worn by the player; add Z to X; repeat with N running through X begin; if N is masc begin; if N is an animal begin; now the indefinite article of N is "el"; otherwise if N is plural-named; now the indefinite article of N is "unos"; otherwise; now the indefinite article of N is "un"; end if; otherwise; if N is an animal begin; now the indefinite article of N is "la"; otherwise if N is plural-named; now the indefinite article of N is "unas"; otherwise; now the indefinite article of N is "una"; end if; end if; if N is hisp-proper, now N is proper-named; end repeat; To despaniardise everything: let X be the list of things carried by the player; let Z be the list of things worn by the player; add Z to X; repeat with N running through X begin; if N is plural-named begin; now the indefinite article of N is "some"; otherwise; now the indefinite article of N is "a"; end if; if N is hisp-proper, now N is not proper-named; end repeat; Rule for escaping Dracula: despaniardise everything; follow the escapology rule; Rule for retreating Dracula: despaniardise everything; follow the retreatage rule; Rule for concluding Dracula: despaniardise everything; follow the retreatage rule; Check helping: if the current game is Dracula begin; say "Drácula[br]La Llegada[p]Un azaroso viaje en carruaje finalmente lleva a nuestro joven protagonista al castillo. Después de una noche o dos y algunas largas discusiones con el Conde, el se percata que no sólo un prisionero, sino que además ¡su vida está en peligro! Escapar se convierte en su única obsesión. Si tiene éxito jura escribir a sus amigos en Inglaterra para prevenirles de sus descubrimientos. El castillo contiene terrores de los cuales es mejor no hablar[note 176]...[p]Instrucciones[p]Movimiento.[br]Usa las convenciones normales de N, S, E, O, para los puntos cardinales, y Subir, Bajar.[p]Comandos importantes del sistema.[br]I=Inventario de todo lo que llevas.[br]M=Mira a la presente localización. Úsalo a menudo, porque las cosas pueden... cambiar[note 177].[p]Comunicación con personajes.[p]Para hablar tan sólo deberás limitarte a responder a las demandas de los personajes, con la orden 'decir', por ejemplo 'decir si', 'decir no'. Si el parser no te entiende puedes probar a incluir a quién quieres decir eso, por ejemplo 'decir si a cochero'[note 178].[p]General.[br]Puedes usar órdenes expresándote de forma normal, de todas formas procura ser simple para que el programa te entienda. Por ejemplo 'examina el coche', 'sube al coche', etc.[br]En el juego original, existía el utilísimo comando 'mira alrededor', el cual aportaba información útil adicional a la descripción de lahabitación. En esta parte se ha omitido, siendo exactamente igual que 'mirar' a secas, y la información que aportaba ha sido añadida a las descripciones; o escondidas en sus alrededores[note 179].[p]Algunas órdenes de una sóla palabra también se usan: 'z' abreviatura de 'esperar', 'dormir', 'Si', 'No', etc.[br]Algunas cosas pueden ser puestas o quitadas como ropa usando 'ponte' o 'quitate' objeto.[p]Para GRABAR la partida.[br]1. Escribe 'grabar' como comando.[br]2. Según el intérprete que uses, se te pedirá que introduzcas el nombre del fichero en el que guardar la partida.[p]Para CARGAR una partida previamente salvada.[br]1. Escribe 'cargar' como comando.[br]2. Según el intérprete, se te pedirá el nombre del fichero donde está la partida guardada.[note 180][p]'Musica on' permite al juego tocar música, 'musica off' la desactiva, 'musica play' la tocará si está permitido. Y, con el comando 'estilo' se cambian los colores del juego.[note 183][p]También puedes 'undo' para retroceder un turno, por si has comentido un error; 'reiniciar' la partida, o 'terminar' de jugar.[p]Otros comandos de información son 'ayuda', que imprime todo este texto, 'version' del juego y 'creditos'.[p]No dudes en escribir a o a si necesitas ayuda o pistas para avanzar, o para reportar algún error de programación.[p]¡Lo Último En Terror Está Aqui Dentro[note 184]!"; stop the action; end if; Understand "terminar" as quitting the game. Understand "cargar" as restoring the game. Understand "reiniciar" as restarting the game. spanish1 is a room. "Estoy sentado en el carruaje, ¡en mi camino hacia el Castillo Drácula![note 54][first time] ¡El final del día me verá llegar a mi destino![note 55] Pronto estamos a una gran altura en las montañas. ¡Las vistas son abrumadoras![note 56] Veo el castillo ocasionalmente, ahí arriba, vigilándome a través de las nubes. ¿Vigilándome? ¿Por qué debería sentir eso? ¡Los castillos no miran![note 57] Volviendo a observarlo me da la impresión de que está construido siguiendo el estilo de los grandes castillos Franceses: torres altas y pináculos. El coche de caballos traquetea con una urgencia que parece vaya a desarmarse...[note 58][only]" The saferoom of Dracula is spanish1. mujer is a woman in spanish1. "Una mujer está sentada en el asiento opuesto[lady 2][note 59]." The description of mujer is "Ella está vestida de negro. Un chal de lazo negro cubre su cabeza, cayendo libremente sobre sus hombros.[p]Su cara es apenas visible[note 61]...". The printed name of mujer is "anciana". The indefinite article of mujer is "la". coche is scenery in spanish1. "Un poco viejo, pero aún lo bastante fuerte como para el largo viaje... ¡Ah! Y esos incómodos asientos[note 73]." Understand "carruaje" as coche. The indefinite article of coche is "el". Every turn while the player is in spanish1: say "[one of]El coche retumba[note 62]...[or]El coche galopa y galopa a gran velocidad a través del atardecer[note 63].[or]Vamos muy deprisa, escalando aún más alto en las montañas[note 64]...[or]El tambaleante coche truena implacablemente[note 65].[or]El coche va lanzado a través del ocaso del día[note 105].[at random]"; cabeza is part of mujer. Understand "cara" as cabeza. The description of cabeza is "Veo simplemente la cara de una mujer anciana... ¡Espera! Miro de nuevo. En su cara veo una vida de sufrimiento. Ella me devuelve la mirada con una ligera sonrisa[note 80]." the montanas are scenery in spanish1. The indefinite article of montanas is "las". spanish2 is a room. To say diespanish: say "[p][i]Tus Viajes Han Terminado[/i]"; wait for any key; say "[p]Okay, you think that concludes that experiment. Entertaining but not enlightening, and far too slow."; wait for any key; deathify 8; carry out the concluding activity with Dracula; Every turn when the player is in spanish2: say "[one of]Sólo puedo ver el horror[note 81].[or]Siento mi corazón martillando en mi pecho[note 82].[or]Como si bandas de acero me rodeasen... ¡Que dolor[note 83]![or]¡Jadeo para respirar! ¡Ah la agonía del miedo[note 84]![or]Mi cabeza se desvanece... Creo que los golpes de mi corazón sencillamente han parado... Paz ahora... Imágenes se desvanecen. No estoy asustado ahora... Imágenes... se desvanecen[note 85].[diespanish][stopping]"; The last every turn rule: if the current game is Dracula, say "[one of]Estoy listo para tus instrucciones[note 60].[or]Dime qué he de hacer[note 67].[or]Espero tus ordenes[note 68].[or]¿Y ahora qué[note 69]?[at random]"; Despertaring is an action applying to nothing. Understand "despertar" or "velar" as despertaring. Understand "wake" or "wake up" as despertaring. Carry out despertaring: say "[We] [is-are] not sleepy." cruz de plata is a wearable thing. "Una cruz de plata simple, de sección rectangular[note 87]." The printed name of cruz de plata is "silver cross". The hisp of cruz de plata is "cruz de plata". Understand "silver" or "cross" as cruz de plata. Instead of despertaring in spanish2: say "¡Rompo el trance! Todo se desliza de nuevo en el foco de mi visión. Todo asume una realidad tranquilizadora. La anciana me observa con mirada conocedora y esboza una débil sonrisa. 'Señor, el futuro no puede ser visto con seguridad... sólo posibilidades. Tome esto para ayudarle en sus futuras aventuras.' Diciendo esto, me da una cruz de plata en un cordón de cuero[note 86]."; wait for any key; say "Okay, you've got a little loot, and you really don't like the prospect of facing vampiric horrors through a haze of bad translation. Time to retreat; maybe we can come back and try the English original later."; carry out the escaping activity with Dracula; now the player carries cruz de plata; despaniardise everything; now cruz de plata is safe; Understand "salir" as exiting. Instead of exiting in spanish1: say "¡La puerta lo evita[note 75]!" Instead of going nowhere in spanish1: say "¡La puerta lo evita[note 75]!" Understand "besar [something]" as kissing. Instead of kissing mujer: say "Sólo es mi compañera de viaje[note 74]."; Instead of examining the player when the current game is Dracula: say "Mis manos son pálidas, con dedos largos y suaves. Las manos de un músico, como suelen decir[note 66]."; Instead of waiting when the current game is Dracula: say "Otro paso más cerca de la eternidad[note 70]..." Hablaing is an action applying to one thing. Understand "habla con [something]" or "habla [something]" or "talk to [something]" as hablaing. Understand "pregunta [someone] con [text]" as asking it about. Instead of asking mujer about something: try hablaing mujer. Instead of hablaing mujer: say "[one of]La anciana me mira con esos ojos... ¡Oh! tan profundos y oscuros ojos, e inclina la cabeza en señal de reconocimiento[note 72]..[or]No veo eso que dices[stopping]."; Instead of hablaing the player: say "[Our] internal conversations are too fascinating to be contained in this parser response."; Instead of hablaing something (called foo): say "[co]Conversation does not appear to work this way.[/co]" Understand "empuja [something]" as pushing. Instead of pushing mujer: say "Eso sería, como poco, maleducado[note 185]." Understand "coge [something]" as taking. Instead of taking mujer: say "No puedo[note 185]." Understand "tira de [something]" as pulling. Instead of pulling mujer: try pushing mujer. Understand "deja [something]" as dropping. Instead of dropping mujer: say "¡Pero si no llevo nada[note 187]!" Understand "gira [something]" as turning. Instead of turning mujer: try pushing mujer. Understand "abre [something]" as opening. Instead of opening something when the current game is Dracula: if the noun is not Dracula begin; say "No es algo que pueda abrirse."; otherwise; continue the action; end if; Understand "matar [something]" or "atacar [something]" as attacking. Instead of attacking something when the current game is Dracula: say "La violencia no es la solución[note 205]." Instead of attacking mujer: try kissing mujer. puerta is an unimplement in spanish1. Understand "door" as puerta. Understand "come [something]" as eating. Understand "sube a [something]" as climbing. Instead of climbing something when the current game is Dracula: say "No es algo donde pueda subir." Understand "bebe [something]" as drinking. Understand "mueve [something]" as waving. Understand "llena [something]" as filling. Instead of filling something when the current game is Dracula: say "No puedo llenarla." Understand "pon [something]" as wearing. Understand "huele [something]" as smelling. Instead of smelling mujer: say "No huelo nada extraño." Understand "quita [something]" as taking off. Understand "escucha [something]" as listening to. Instead of listening to something or listening when the current game is Dracula: say "No escucho nada fuera de lo común[note 188]." Understand "enciende [something]" as switching on. Instead of switching on mujer: say "Con esa peligrosa acción no lograría nada." Understand "rompe [something]" as attacking. Instead of attacking mujer: try kissing mujer. Understand "quema [something]" as burning. Instead of burning mujer: say "Con esa peligrosa acción no lograría nada." Understand "salta" as jumping. Understand "escucha" as listening. Understand "examina" as examining. Understand "duerme" or "dormir" as sleeping. Understand "canta" as singing. Understand "mirar" as looking. Understand "o" or "oeste" as west. Understand "esperar" as waiting. Understand "inventario" as taking inventory. ojos is part of mujer. Instead of examining ojos: say "Miro dentro de esos ojos oscuros... Parecen iluminarse, mientras todo lo demás se ensombrece... ¡Ya no veo el coche de caballos, ni su cara! En esas profundas charcas veo imágenes aún por venir! Una habitación oscura... Veo tres personas en sudarios blancos, chillando sobre una cama en una esquina.[note 76] Son mujeres jóvenes y sueltan risas nerviosas intermitentemente... No son las risas de jóvenes inocentes, es algo mucho más siniestro... Hay alguien en la cama. Oigo ruidos... debe haber un perro aquí. Sí, un perro, ¿Mascando un trozo de carne[note 77]?"; wait for any key; say "Ellas se levantan, dándome la espalda. Entonces lentamente se vuelven. ¡DIOS, NO! ¡Sus caras! Sonríen, ¡pero con la malevolencia de Satán! ¡Sus blancas caras mortecinas están cubiertas de sangre! Siseando Histéricamente, ¡Vienen A Por Mí[lady 3][note 78]![p]Pulsa cualquier tecla para continuar[note 79]"; wait for any key; move the player to spanish2; now Draculade is 0; mujer can be examined or unexamined. mujer is unexamined. after examining mujer: now mujer is examined. Draculade is a number that varies. Draculade is 0. Every turn when the current game is Dracula: now Draculade is Draculade + 1; if Draculade > 12 begin; if mujer is examined begin; if the player is in spanish2 begin; now Draculade is 4; otherwise; say "[co]Okay, okay, this is pretty damn unfair. Maybe talk to her. And then see if there's anything you notice.[/co]"; now Draculade is 0; end if; otherwise; say "[co]Non-Hispanophones may have missed this, but you might want to check out the other occupant of the carriage.[/co]"; now Draculade is 5; end if; end if; Part 7 - Down and Out Big Creepy House is a game in startroom. The precis of Big Creepy House is "[set link 506][bold type]Down and Out at the Big Creepy House on the Poison Lake[roman type][end link] by Shii (2009)[line break] 1.5/5 stars". The printed name of Big Creepy House is "Down and Out at the Big Creepy House on the Poison Lake". The description of Big Creepy House is "[b]Down and Out at the Big Creepy House on the Poison Lake[/b][line break]by Shii[note 24][br]Magical realism[line break]2009[p][b]About the Story[/b][br]Yeah, so it looks like I'm a dope and wrecked my boat at this nasty old house.[p]Development System: Inform 7[br]Forgiveness Rating: Nasty[p][b]1st Annual MetaFilter Interactive Fiction Contest[note 25][/b][p][b]Tags:[/b] 1st Annual MetaFilter Interactive Fiction Contest (8) cover art (513) profanity (44) strong profanity (78[note 109])[p][co]There's a substantial review by C.E.J. Pacian, which you skim: 'promising', 'woefully untested', 'a catalogue of rookie errors', 'a fair few imaginative flourishes', 'I have to admit that I'm stumped.' Oh dear. This may call for a quick smash-and-grab, lest you be sucked down into a quagmire. On the other hand, it's a .z5 written in Inform 7, so how big could it really be?[/co][p][set link 526][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]". To reset Big Creepy House: if slave driver is in Poison Lake, now slave driver is in bsh-boathouse; if slave driver is in bsh-boathouse, now driver-intro is true; Understand "poison" or "lake" or "down and out" as Big Creepy House. Carry out opening Big Creepy House: clear the screen; reset Big Creepy House; if Big Creepy House is unplayed begin; say "Uh. It looks like I'm in a strange bedroom. That's pretty cool. So... yeah. What was I doing? I can't believe this... I've forgotten again[note 147]. I gotta retrace my steps. Um... I was rowing across the lake... in a boat, right. Then I saw this really weird shaped house, on a rocky island. Damn, and my boat got swept up against the rock, too! Yeah, that's what happened--my head slammed into a cleat! That really hurt! That must be why I passed out... what was I doing on the lake in the first place, though? I was looking for something. It was pretty important, I remember that. Oh, this isn't good. No, I can't seem to remember much at all. Who am I, anyway? I don't even know my name! Christ, this is embarrassing. I feel like I'm playing out the most basic trope in the book. The first thing they teach you is never to stay out too long in the mist...[br]It would be nice to know who 'they' were, though[note 107]...[p]"; wait for any key; end if; say "[b]Down and Out at the Big Creepy House on the Poison Lake[/b][br]A story from the Mist universe[note 106] by Shii[br]Release 5 / Serial number 090402 / Inform 7 build 5U92 (I6/v6.31 lib 6/12N)[br]"; now the player is in bch-bedroom; now the story viewpoint is first person; accomplish accomp7; wardrobe-change pajamas; my pajamas are an outfit. The description of pajamas is "A plaid slip-on shirt and pants. I can't seem to recall bringing these with me. Come to think of it, it would be rather weird if I had been rowing across a lake in my PJs." Understand "pyjamas" and "PJs" and "pijama" as pajamas. The hisp of pajamas is "pijama". The printed name of my pajamas is "[our] pajamas". Does the player mean doing something to the pajamas: it is very likely. Instead of taking off pajamas when the current game is Big Creepy House: say "While I'm not a huge fan of these pajamas, the alternative is not exactly appealing." pajama pockets are an unimplement. pajama pockets are part of pajamas. Understand "pocket" as pajama pockets. Instead of examining the player when the current game is Big Creepy House: say "Yup, I'm me! I lost my name but I can still recognize myself. I'm in pretty good shape considering what I've been through[if the player wears pajamas]. I am wearing horrid pajamas though[end if]." Instead of eating something when the current game is Big Creepy House: say "I'm starting to doubt my own sanity. For a moment there I had an intense desire to eat [the noun]."; bch-bedroom is a room. "Judging by the dust on the vanity and the melted lamp, I don't think this bedroom has been used in a long time, except by yours truly. It's rather stately, though. I've never slept in a canopy bed before. Everything looks antique and hand-carved. There's Victorian wallpaper on the walls, and the floor is polished wood.[p]A bay window illuminates a whole shelf full of books. Through a door to the south is the hallway." The printed name of bch-bedroom is "Bedroom". The saferoom of Big Creepy House is bch-bedroom. the vanity is scenery in bch-bedroom. "A dusty white vanity with a mirror and so forth." the mirror-v is part of vanity. The printed name of mirror-v is "vanity mirror". Understand "vanity" or "mirror" or "oval" as mirror-v. The description of mirror-v is "A cloudy oval mirror sits on the vanity, covered in dust." Instead of taking mirror-v: say "I think about taking the vanity mirror with me, but it's probably better off where it is." a melted lamp is scenery in bch-bedroom. "An old metal lamp hanging from the wall, containing a melted candle. Good thing it's light out." the canopy bed is a supporter in bch-bedroom. The description of canopy bed is "This is a canopy bed with white drapes. It's in rather good shape. All the sheets are white and the pillow is stuffed with feathers. The posts are elegantly lacquered.". canopy bed is enterable. canopy bed is scenery. the posts are part of the canopy bed. the candle is scenery in bch-bedroom. Instead of taking the candle: say "I'm afraid the candle is not salvageable. It's just a little ring of wax." candle is burnable. the pillow is scenery in bch-bedroom. The description of pillow is "A white feather pillow that was supporting my head just a short while ago." Instead of taking pillow: say "I've no need for a pillow, and I've only got two hands and pockets anyway." the bch floor is scenery in bch-bedroom. The description of bch floor is "Long wooden boards. Looks, like, glazed." The printed name of bch floor is "floor". the bay window is scenery in bch-bedroom. "So, there's this nice plush seat jutting out of the wall, and around it are three window panes at acute[note 108] angles to each other. That's what a bay window looks like." the seat is part of bay window. seat is an enterable supporter. The description of seat is "A plush red window seat covered in dust." [Instead of sitting on bay window: try sitting on seat.] Instead of searching bay window: say "Mist." wallpaper is scenery in bch-bedroom. "Old, yellowed wallpaper with blue fleurs-de-lis." bookshelf is scenery in bch-bedroom. bookshelf is a container. "This is the queerest bookshelf I've ever seen[note 135]. All of the books are definitely waterlogged, but we're on the second floor! Maybe there was a flood in their previous location." Understand "books" or "shelf" as bookshelf. a book is a kind of thing. a book is usually burnable. Understand "book" or "libro" as a book. A thing can be hisp-proper. A thing is usually not hisp-proper. the Almagest is a book in bookshelf. The description of Almagest is "A book about astronomy called the Almagest. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Almagest is "Almagesto". Understand "almagesto" as Almagest. the Didache is a book in bookshelf. The description of Didache is "A book about religion called the Didache. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Didache is "Didaché". the Talmud is a book in bookshelf. The description of Talmud is "A book about religion called the Talmud. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." Leviathian is a book in bookshelf. The description of Leviathian is "A book about philosophy called Leviathian[note 181]. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Leviathian is "Leviatán". Understand "Leviathan" or "Leviatan" as Leviathian. Metamorphoses is a book in bookshelf. The description of Metamorphoses is "A story called Metamorphoses. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Metamorphoses is "Las metamorfosis". Understand "metamorphosis" or "metamorfosis" or "las metamorfosis" as Metamorphoses. The City of God is a book in bookshelf. The description of The City of God is "Never heard of this book before. Someone called Augustine wrote this. What a weird name." The hisp of City of God is "La ciudad de Dios". Understand "ciudad de dios" or "ciudad" or "dios" or "la ciudad de dios" as City of God. City of God is hisp-proper. the Colliget is a book in bookshelf. The description of Colliget is "'The Colliget of Averroes' is printed on the cover. It looks like philosophy." the Bottle Manuscript is a book in bookshelf. The description of Bottle Manuscript is "The words 'Bottle Manuscript' are written on the cover of this book in spider-like ink. The book appears to be bound in leather, using string instead of glue for the spine." The hisp of Bottle Manuscript is "el Manuscrito Botella". Understand "manuscrito" or "botella" as Bottle Manuscript. Bottle Manuscript is hisp-proper. the Symposium is a book in bookshelf. The description of Symposium is "A book about philosophy called the Symposium. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Symposium is "Simposio". Understand "simposio" as Symposium. the Iliad is a book in bookshelf. The description of Iliad is "A story called the Iliad. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Iliad is "La Ilíada". Understand "iliada" as Iliad. Iliad is hisp-proper. the Life of Cuthbert is a book in bookshelf. The description of Cuthbert is "It looks like an ancient hagiography. How absolutely scintillating." The hisp of Cuthbert is "La vida de San Cuthbert". Understand "vida" or "san" as Cuthbert. Cuthbert is hisp-proper. the Aeneid is a book in bookshelf. The description of Aeneid is "A story called the Aeneid. Doesn't look too useful to [us]." The hisp of Aeneid is "La Eneida". Understand "eneida" as Aeneid. Aeneid is hisp-proper. Understand the command "read" as something new. reading is an action applying to one thing. Understand "read [something]" as reading. Instead of reading something (called foo): try examining foo. Instead of opening a book: say "Yup, there are pages in the book." Instead of reading a book (called foo) when the current game is Big Creepy House: if foo is Bottle Manuscript begin; say "I open the manuscript to page 1.[p]I see on page 1: 'Bottle ms., found year 27, retranscribed year 50[p]If anyone reads this please let me know. I put this message in a bottle and dropped it in the river just outside my city's walls-- I assume the river goes somewhere. I don't know the real name of the river, or the city. Sorry.'[p]A twelve-page[note 182] message in a bottle?"; otherwise; say "While I do love to read in my free time, I feel there are more important things I need to do in this weird old house than read [the foo]."; end if; After consulting Bottle Manuscript about a topic listed in the Table of Bottledom: say the desc entry; say "[br]"; Table of Bottledom topic desc "page two" or "page 2" or "2/two" "I see on page 2: 'I am a man, and my name is guard. I am not allowed to have any other name. Maybe you think this is strange. At first I remember having some reservations about it. But by the time I arrived in this city my mind was almost a blank slate. I was an empty vessel, and Governor filled me up with obedience and desperate love. This may seem strange to you, but I am happy here. I am just curious about the world outside these walls. The walls protect us from a blanket of mist that covers everything. When I go outside the walls to pick up supplies, if I take too long the mist makes me feel confused, and sometimes I forget what I am doing there.'[br]Wait--this is exactly what happened to me!" "page three" or "page 3" or "3/three" "I see on page 3: 'I now understand that almost all the supplies we use in the city come floating down the river. The debris in the river are half trash and half unused products of all kinds. Sometimes human beings are floating down the river, too. I have only seen five in the two years I have been a guard, but every single one of them has been badly beaten, both the men and the women. At least they are not dead; they cling to the supplies and stay conscious. But when we pick them out of the water, their memories are fearfully blank, and if you ask them their names, they start to panic. There is little we can do for these people. I have seen what Governor does. He meets them inside the outer walls and asks them if they want to go back home. When asked, four of the five I saw cried 'yes' with all their hearts, and he gave them food and put them back on the river. One said no. He took her with him into the enclosed city. When she passed the inner wall she collapsed immediately, and her sleeping body was given to a landlord. Governor told me that this girl will become a guard. I look forward to meeting her.'[p]I've never heard of anything like this... that's horrifying." "page four" or "page 4" or "4/four" "I see on page 4: 'But I'm getting ahead of myself. Regarding the city: the customs here are very strange. It seems to be a timeless place. Their calendar system cycles after 10 years. There are no books in the whole city; writing is done only on walls, signs, and wax tablets. There is no electricity, but there is a lot of driftwood in the river and it is dried and used to power almost everything. Clothing also comes from the river. Buildings and food are produced inside the city. This has been going on since before anyone's grandparents were born, which is good enough for the townsfolk, because it is said that anyone compiling history will be put to death. What I call the city is actually an urban area proper and hundreds of acres of farmland and fields, and it takes four days to walk across the whole thing, but because there are no tall buildings or hills the walls are almost always visible.'" "page five" or "page 5" or "5/five" "I see on page 5: 'The town is ruled by landlords and Governor. Governor lives in a castle in the center of town and employs two guards who obey his every command. They are both called guard. I am one of these. The lords live in mansions which are built up against the circular city walls and evenly spaced around the perimeter. They also employ guards. guards are always employed in pairs, one male and one female. They are always psychologically dependent on each other. It's funny that I know that. It doesn't matter, because I still love Governor's other guard, and nobody in this city knows the word 'psychology' anyway. The landlords['] guards are all called guard except for the Lord Ari who has two guards called 'Izanami' and 'Izanagi' owing to a forgotten, ancient custom. The Lord Ari lives in the depths of the sacred forest, which is very far from the city center. The townspeople are only allowed to visit his property in the event of the death of a relative, during which the guards perform an ancient funeral, or their own banishment from the city, at which point Izanami and Izanagi would carry the banished beyond the walls, fasten them to a post overnight to allow their memory to corrode, then put them on a boat going down the river.'[br]Woah! I'm pretty sure I never lived in this guy's town." "page six" or "page 6" or "6/six" "I see on page 6: 'Most guards in the households of the landlords are expected to protect their Governors as well as care for them, but only the Governor's guards are allowed to carry guns. The urban guards are skilled in swordsmanship and during the Winter Festival a competition is held. The rural guards are said to be expert trackers but little evidence of this is made public. During the Summer Festival the rural guards demonstrate their impressive archery skills. No guard within the walls of Governor's Town is lacking in self-defense instruction, and consequently, physical brutality directed at the guards themselves is exceedingly rare.'" "page seven" or "page 7" or "7/seven" "I see on page 7: 'The other main duty of the guards is to collect supplies from outside, a process which is extremely secret. The townspeople are under the impression that nobody is allowed to leave the city other than banished criminals and the guards (who rotate out after five years-- not something I'm particularly looking forward to). In fact, supplies are collected every day. The only doors to the outer walls are in the landlords['] basements, which are trapped to prevent curiosity seekers. In between the inner and outer walls are thousands of bird skeletons, an eerie sight which Governor is at a loss to explain. The guards must clear the paths they use every week because birds seem to drop out of the sky and die here. This is work I am glad I do not have to do. Beyond the inner gate of the household of the landlord closest to the center of town, the Lord of the City, is a small shack in which Governor interviews the people we rescue from the river.'" "page eight" or "page 8" or "8/eight" "I see on page 8: 'Outside the outer gates much can be seen, and I am grateful as Governor's guard to have seen most of it (the lords['] guards do not travel much). Assuming the urban part of the city to be in the north, the river runs from east to west around the northern part of the city, curving towards the city so that it is also accessible from most of the western side. It is 200 meters from the outer wall and is about 50 meters wide. It is full of debris from 9AM to 11AM every morning, after which debris are much more infrequent. Crossing the river would not be a wise idea, considering the mist. Outside the eastern, rural part of the city there is an ancient path, almost entirely overgrown, that goes up a hill. If you climb the path to the top of the hill, you can just barely make out a mountain in the east. The path seems to be running towards it, but nobody sane would try to follow it; by climbing the hill alone, I suffered short-term memory loss and almost fainted from exhaustion when I reentered the city.'" "page nine" or "page 9" or "9/nine" "I see on page 9: 'Most of the southern rural guards walk to the west to get supplies from the river, but there is a single outer gate behind the Lord Ari's house. Outside this gate there is more forest in all directions, and due to the mist it is dark all day long and impossible to see where the forest ends. A path leads into the darkness for five minutes, passing underneath a moss-covered stone arch. Something is inscribed on this arch, but not in any language I know of. At the end of the path, in the middle of the forest, are the ruins of a wooden shrine, with a single short post in the middle which a dozen manacles are chained to. It is here that Izanami and Izanagi perform a certain ritual with criminals, the details of which are secret, before leaving them there overnight. It is place that holds rites and horrors older than any of us can comprehend, and I would not want to lose my memory there.'" "page ten" or "page 10" or "10/ten" "I see on page 10: 'It seems to me that this used to be a normal city, many ages ago. The forest was the location of its shrine, and the hilltop path may have once been a road which allowed townspeople to do commerce with whomever lives in the mountains. What comes from those mountains now is not entirely understandable. The other guards and I come from there, and when I have the pleasure of talking with the other guards privately, they confirm that they can recognize most of what comes down the river. Things like telewsions (?) and telephomes (?), which are never picked out of the stream due to their worthlessness, are nonetheless vaguely recognizable to us. Yet it seems unlikely that there are power plants (?) up in those mountains, if so much of this stuff is being discarded every morning. Where did THEY get it from? Who are they, and why do they occasionally dump battered human beings along with their trash?'[p]Hmm... the person who transcribed this must not have been familiar with televisions and telephones, but I am." "page eleven" or "page 11" or "11/eleven" "I see on page 11: 'And what happens downriver? This is why I am sending this message on. Governor would not permit me to make a copy of this message for myself nor an archive for future guards, and the castle has no library. But I cannot help but wonder. Is there poison mist where you live, too? What do you do with all the supplies, the trash, and the poor souls who come down the river? Does this river simply empty into the ocean before any towns reach it-- and if that's the case, what does it look like on the beach? I wonder if I will be able to answer any of these questions when I leave this city. Regarding the day I leave, I know nothing. Governor's guard. 10th day, 6th month, year 9'" "page twelve" or "page 12" or "12/twelve" "I see on page 12: '(at the bottom of an otherwise blank page) No bodies in lake--why?'" bsh-hallway is south of bch-bedroom. "The hallway is dark and quite narrow--there's barely enough room for me to stretch out my arms. There's this weird painting on the wall, too.[p]There's a metal spiral staircase leading up and down. It's dark up there, though! If I go north, I'll be back in the bedroom where I started. There's another door to the south... I wonder where it goes?" The printed name of bsh-hallway is "Hallway". the portrait is scenery in bsh-hallway. "It's a portrait of this really old guy. His fingers are all shriveled up and his skin is gray. His face looks like a skull. It's making me shiver![p]The frame says 'Charles Young II'. No date." Understand "painting" as portrait. up staircase is an open scenery door. up staircase is above bsh-hallway and below bsh-topstairs. bsh-topstairs is a dark room. The description of bsh-topstairs is "There's not much here but a metal door opening out to the roof. I can see the stairs spiraling all the way down into the kitchen. Good thing there's a railing!" The printed name of bsh-topstairs is "Top of the Stairs". Rule for printing the description of a dark room when the location is bsh-topstairs: say "Darkness, shmarkness, go to Barkness[note 208]!" Before going up from bsh-topstairs: say "[first time]I involuntarily cover my mouth as I step outside... my reflexes must have expected mist. But there's nothing but clear air before me, and a nice big view.[br][only]"; the metal door is a closed locked scenery door. metal door is outside from bsh-topstairs and inside from Widow's Walk. The description of metal door is "Metal, covered in illustrations of twisting vines. The sort of door that opens into a secret garden." brass key unlocks metal door. Widow's Walk is a room. "Woah-- I'm on top of the world! This must be a widow's walk, because it's on top of the roof and surrounded by railing. This is amazing, I can actually see almost all the way out to the horizon to the south. Clouds cover the sky; the island is surrounded by a wall and a beach. On my east and west are rolling hills, and in the north a polluted river is dumping all kinds of trash into the lake around the house. I think this deserves a look around." the hills are scenery in Widow's Walk. Understand "east" as hills. The description of hills is "There are hills on either side of this lake. They're covered in uninhabited forest. If I came to this island from some sort of port town, I can't see it through the mist." the river is scenery in Widow's Walk. Understand "north" as the river. The description of river is "The stream rolls downhill from somewhere obscured by mist into the lake. It can't be very deep, because parts of it are clogged up with junk." the roof is scenery in Widow's Walk. Understand "house" as roof. The description of roof is "The roof is covered in dark blue shingles and is almost circular. There's a cranny on the north face of the house, where the bay window is. I can make out a garden on the ground." the railing is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of railing is "A wooden railing, covered in peeling white paint, surrounds me entirely, except where it meets the door inside. That's where the roof rises up." the garden is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of garden is "On the ground of this island is a garden surrounded by a high wall. It looks kind of dead down there! I see some movement, though. It's coming from inside a house built in to one of the walls. There are shadows flickering around. Is the person who rescued me down there? There's a sundial and stuff like that, too." the bsh-walls is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of bsh-walls is "There's a quite high wall made apparently of stone that goes all the way around this little island. It actually is made up of three parts: a white inner wall, a black outer wall, and a thick layer of bird skeletons in between the two. It creeps me out a little." The printed name of bsh walls is "walls". Understand "skeletons" or "wall" as bsh-walls. the horizon is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of horizon is "The mist-covered lake extends all the way out to the horizon, covered completely in trash." Understand "south" as horizon. the distant lake is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of lake is "This lake is mostly obscured by mist, but I can see garbage everywhere." the mist is scenery in Widow's Walk. The description of mist is "Mist permeates everything from the ground level up to the tops of the hills. In fact, it rises up to the island itself, but something weird is going on. It looks like the mist stops at this thick wall around the island that's covered in little skeletons." the garbage is scenery in Widow's Walk. "It's impossible to describe how much junk there is in the water. I spot some umbrellas, clothing, furniture, books, lots of paper, discarded food containers, and televisions. Near the mouth of the lake I see an entire car blocking the river. No sign of my rowboat, though." Understand "junk" as garbage. the beach is scenery in Widow's Walk. "There's a thin beach on the northern end of the island. The beach stands about fifty feet below the walls, and it's covered in trash from the lake. I can't quite make it out, but it looks like there's a human body there...?!" the human body is an unimplement in Widow's Walk. the car is an unimplement in Widow's Walk. the clouds are a backdrop. clouds are in Widow's Walk and bsh-garden. The description of clouds is "The sky is gray and full of clouds. I can't make out the sun in this weather." Understand "sky" or "sun" or "cloud" as clouds. the down staircase is an open scenery door. down staircase is below bsh-hallway and above bsh-kitchen. Before going south in bsh-hallway for the first time: say "As I carelessly open the door, a putrid stench floods my nostrils, causing my eyes to involuntarily tear up.[bathe 4]"; bsh-bathroom is south of bsh-hallway. "Here's hoping I don't have to use this bathroom anytime soon. I think someone ran out of Scrubbing Bubbles a long time ago. Streaks and lines on the ceramic tiled walls are good evidence of futile efforts to clean the grime and mold off with a washcloth... many years ago. The floor is probably linoleum, but let's not think about the floor too much. There's also normal bathroom stuff in here like a sink, a shower, a mirror, etc." The printed name of bsh-bathroom is "Bathroom". bsh-bathroom is watery. Instead of smelling in bsh-bathroom: say "I smell nothing unexpected[note 201]." the ceramic tiles are scenery in bsh-bathroom. "What can I say about bathroom tiles? White, ceramic squares. Moldy, of course. There's a towel rack attached to one of the walls." the bsh-towel rack is a scenery supporter in bsh-bathroom. "A perfectly ordinary towel rack[if towel is on bsh-towel]. There's even a towel on it[end if]." Understand "towel rack" or "towel" as bsh-towel rack. The printed name of bsh-towel is "towel rack". a towel is on bsh-towel rack. The description of towel is "I should always remember where my towel is." The hisp of towel is "toalla". Understand "toalla" as towel. towel is wearable. Rule for writing a paragraph about towel when towel is on bsh-towel: do nothing. Before printing a locale paragraph about bsh-towel rack: if towel is on bsh-towel rack, now towel is mentioned; Before examining bsh-towel rack: now towel is scenery. After examining bsh-towel rack: now towel is not scenery. After taking towel for the first time: say "Taken.[br][bracket]Your score has just gone up by one point.[close bracket][note 132][br]". Before going down in bsh-hallway: say "[first time]I stomp down the spiral staircase, and a marvelous old room appears before my eyes.[only]"; the bsh-sink is scenery in bsh-bathroom. The printed name of bsh-sink is "sink". The description of bsh-sink is "This sink is gross. There's some sort of brown growth lining the basin. The faucet has its cap missing -- looks broken to me." Understand "sink" as bsh-sink. a faucet is part of bsh-sink. The description of faucet is "A most definitely broken tap." the bsh-floor is scenery in bsh-bathroom. "I'm guessing linoleum. I'm perceiving mostly brownness." The printed name of bsh-floor is "floor". Understand "floor" as bsh-floor. the bsh-toilet is scenery in bsh-bathroom. The description of bsh-toilet is "No, let’s not examine that toilet too closely, okay?" Understand "toilet" as bsh-toilet. The printed name of bsh-toilet is "toilet". the bsh-shower is scenery in bsh-bathroom. "Yup, it's a gross old shower. No surprises here." The printed name of bsh-shower is "shower". Understand "shower" as bsh-shower. Instead of entering bsh-shower: say "That's not something I can enter[note 157]."; the bsh-mirror is scenery in bsh-bathroom. "No medicine cabinet behind this mirror -- just good old foggy glass." The printed name of bsh-mirror is "mirror". Understand "mirror" as bsh-mirror. Instead of searching bsh-mirror: say "I spy in the mirror a classy-looking person wearing [random outfit worn by the player]. Hey, that's me! Too bad I don't know my name, or I'd ask me out.[p]My hair looks a little messy. Too bad there's no comb around here." bsh-kitchen is a watery room. "Here's fun! This room with the high ceiling is clearly an abandoned kitchen. I don't see any food anywhere, but with a wooden table, a brick oven built into one of the walls, and a cabinet on the opposite wall with a counter on top, it's difficult to conclude anything other than 'kitchen'. What's especially great about this kitchen, in my opinion, is that an iron staircase is spiraling right out of the floor and up to the second story. There's also a window with a diamond-shaped panel in the middle, illuminating the table and chairs. To the west there's a door leading outside." The printed name of bsh-kitchen is "Kitchen". the kitchen table is a supporter in bsh-kitchen. The description of kitchen table is "A table good enough to eat off of[note 119]." a brass key is a masc tiny thing on the kitchen table. "A heavy-looking brass key is sitting on the table, waiting eagerly to be dropped into my pajama pocket." The description of brass key is "With an ovaloid bow, and a single rounded notch for a bit, this key is decidedly old-school." Rule for writing a paragraph about kitchen table: if kitchen table supports brass key begin; now brass key is mentioned; say "A heavy-looking brass key is sitting on the table, waiting eagerly to be dropped into my pajama pocket."; otherwise; do nothing; end if; The hisp of brass key is "llave de latón". Understand "llave" or "laton" or "llave de laton" as brass key. the counter is a scenery supporter in bsh-kitchen. The description of counter is "A counter pocked with the scratches and dents of many years of veggie chopping. There's a wooden chopping board glued to it." a chopping board is on the counter. The description of chopping board is "Someone apparently didn't like their chopping board moving around. It's glued tight." Instead of taking chopping board when chopping board is on counter: say "I can't seem to separate it from the counter." a matchbox is on the counter. The description of matchbox is "A box of matches from the Downtown Cafe and Eatery. It has a little strip of that gray stuff you strike matches on." Understand "box" or "matches" or "box of matches" or "caja" or "cerillas" or "caja de cerillas" or "matchbook" or "matches" as matchbox. The hisp of matchbox is "caja de cerillas". Understand "caja" or "cerillas" or "caja de cerillas" as matchbox. matchbox is an openable container. matchbox is closed. A match is a kind of thing. four matches are in matchbox. The description of a match is usually "This is a match. [We] can strike it on something." The hisp of a match is usually "cerilla". Understand "cerilla" as a match. A match is tiny. Striking it against is an action applying to two things. Understand "strike [something] against [something]" or "strike [something] on [something]" as striking it against. Does the player mean striking a match against the matchbox: it is very likely. Carry out inserting something into matchbox: if the noun is an animal begin; say "Disturbingly, [the noun] fits inside the matchbox, but it clearly has no intention of remaining there. After a few failed efforts, involving some gut-churning distortions of space-time, [we] give[s] up."; stop the action; end if; Report inserting something into matchbox: if the noun is not tiny begin; say "[one of]Oh ho ho ho. This is one of those unfortunate objects that has no rationality limits on containment. In the outside world, they're unstable - only lasting a few precious weeks - but in the deep tunnels they can be invaluable workarounds for certain onerous rules. (Which is to say, employ with caution, because it will sure as hell break things.) And once you get out, it has a number of quite profitable applications, though few of them are exactly what you'd call legal[or]Hee hee. That never gets old[stopping]."; now matchbox is valuable; end if; Instead of striking something against something: try attacking the second noun. Instead of burning a match (called foo): if the player carries matchbox begin; try striking foo against matchbox; otherwise; say "This is a safety match; you'll need to strike it against the box."; end if; Instead of striking a match against something (called foo): say "[if the current game is Big Creepy House]I feel kind of silly rubbing the match against [the second noun][otherwise]Apparently it's a safety match. You'll need to use the box[end if]."; Instead of striking a match against matchbox: if the player does not carry the noun begin; say "(first taking a match)"; try silently taking the noun; end if; say "The match catches fire! This match is kind of stubby, so I should figure out what I want to do with it, like, right now."; now the printed name of the noun is "burning match"; now the noun is lit; matchdrop happens in two turns from now; matchsputter happens in three turns from now; At the time when matchdrop happens: if the player carries a lit match begin; say "The match is almost totally aflame!"; let N be a random lit match carried by the player; try dropping N; end if; At the time when matchsputter happens: let N be a random lit match; if N is visible, say "The burning match turns to ash."; remove N from play; Instead of doing something other than dropping with a lit match: say "The burning match is kind of on fire right now. I'd prefer to let the fire do its own thing."; Instead of doing something when the second noun is a lit match: say "The burning match is kind of on fire right now. I'd prefer to let the fire do its own thing."; the brick oven is a container in bsh-kitchen. brick oven is scenery. The description of brick oven is "A brick oven with a small, hemispherical opening giving way to a big space behind it in the wall. It looks like there's enough stray bits of charcoal back there for it to work properly. If I fed this thing enough wood, it could probably bake me a whole batch of cookies. Yum!" the brick oven can be fiery or chilled. the brick oven is chilled. Check removing something from fiery oven: say "It looks like we've got a nice fire going in the burning brick oven. I don't want to reach inside right now."; stop the action. Rule for printing the name of a fiery brick oven: say "burning brick oven". some stray bits of charcoal are an unimplement in bsh-kitchen. the bsh cabinet is a closed scenery container in bsh-kitchen. The description of bsh cabinet is "I lean down to inspect the cabinet. There's no lock on it-- just It is made of stained and finished wood. All around, a nice cabinet. There's a counter on top.[if closed] It's closed at the moment[end if]." The printed name of cabinet is "cabinet". bsh cabinet is openable and closed. the stone idol is a thing in bsh cabinet. The description of stone idol is "A tiny, hand-carved stone statue. It looks like a little gargoyle." The hisp of idol is "ídolo de piedra". Understand "idolo" or "piedra" or "idolo de piedra" as idol. the wooden box is a closed locked container in bsh cabinet. The description of wooden box is "A varnished wooden box. It has a weird-shaped lock and it's covered in mysterious curly engravings. I bet there's something really cool inside!" The hisp of wooden box is "caja de madera". Understand "caja" or "madera" or "caja de madera" as wooden box. the diamond window is scenery in bsh-kitchen. "This window has five panels. Four are arranged in a square, and the fifth diamond-shaped one is wedged into the middle." the kitchen door is a scenery door. kitchen door is west of bsh-kitchen and east of bsh-garden. kitchen door is closed. bsh-garden is a room. "An overgrown garden surrounded by a high, whitewashed wall. Looking up to the gray sky, I see that the wall seems to block the mist somehow. The sky is clear, albeit gray, directly above me. There's a sundial that casts no shadow, and the hedges need to be clipped badly. To the east is the house. To the north there's an interesting sort of shack. It's built into the wall and seems to slope underneath it. I think it's a boathouse!" The printed name of bsh-garden is "Garden". the sundial is scenery in bsh-garden. "A stone sundial with a curved gnomon stands in the middle of the garden on a pedestal. Since it's such a cloudy day, you can't see any shadow at all. The wabe is overgrown with tall grass." the hedges are scenery in bsh-garden. "Originally snipped to right angles--now a mess of outgrowths and stray branches." whitewashed wall is scenery in bsh-garden. The description of whitewashed wall is "A stone wall that's been smoothed over and whitewashed. It meets the walls of the house to the southeast and northeast." house exterior is scenery in bsh-garden. The description of house exterior is "Here's the house I woke up in-- apparently the main attraction on this island. It's painted a dull gray with dark blue shingles. The bedroom window forms a lovely cranny. There's a widow's walk on the roof." the wabe is part of the sundial. the description of wabe is "I see nothing special about wabe[note 143]." gnomon is part of the sundial. After examining house exterior for the first time: bandname 4; pedestal is an unimplement in bsh-garden. grass is an unimplement in bsh-garden. the boathouse door is a scenery door. boathouse door is north of bsh-garden. driver-intro is a truth-state that varies. driver-intro is true. bsh-boathouse is north of the boathouse door. The printed name of bsh-boathouse is "Boathouse". The description of bsh-boathouse is "[if slave driver is in bsh-boathouse and driver-intro is true]I make out a boat inside the boathouse--could it be mine?! As I step inside eagerly, I hear a voice. 'So, you're awake,' says the voice, and I see an enormous bulk of a man wearing little but camouflage pants, a gas mask around his nose and mouth, and a scimitar. Hmm. This isn't exactly the best situation I could be in.[p]'What do you remember?' he asks, breathing through the mask.[p]'Nothing,' I reply honestly.[p]'Thought so,' the dude says brusquely. 'You were out long enough you probably forgot where you came from. You're an escaped slave.'[p]'What's my name?'[p]'You're the property of the Emperor. You don't get a name.'[p]'Who's the emperor?'[p]'Oh, shut up. Get in the boat and I'll give you your mask so we can get out of here.'[p]Welp. Here we are in the boathouse. [end if]I see a slave driver and a boat here. I ain't got much choice left." After looking in bsh-boathouse: now driver-intro is false; continue the action; After going north from bsh-garden for the first time: say the description of bsh-boathouse; bandname 5; Instead of examining something in bsh-boathouse in the presence of slave driver: if the noun is the slave driver begin; say "The slave driver spots me looking around. 'None of that,' he says."; otherwise; continue the action; end if; Instead of going south in bsh-boathouse in the presence of slave driver: say "Gee, I'd love to leave, but there happens to be this BIG DUDE WITH A KNIFE TELLING ME TO GET ON THE BOAT."; gas mask is a wearable thing. The description of gas mask is "[if worn][We] [are+] looking through the two tinted eyeholes of a gas mask on loan to [us] from [our] friendly slave driver. It looks like there's some sort of canister attached to it below [our] left cheek[otherwise]A somewhat old-fashioned gas-mask with a sort of canister attachment instead of a filter.[end if]." Understand "canister" or "gasmask" as gas mask. The hisp of gas mask is "careta antigás". Understand "careta" or "antigas" as gas mask. Instead of taking off the gas mask when the player is in Poison Lake: say "As I take off the gas mask, I feel a dizziness come over me almost immediately. It must be a combination of the mist and the stench from the lake.[p]'Put that back on!' yells the slave dude. I laugh for some reason and lunge at him, intending to throw him off the boat.[p]Oh wait, he has a knife-- I forgot about the knife--"; wait for any key; deathify 22; carry out the escaping activity with Big Creepy House; slavestuck is a number that varies. slavestuck is 0. Every turn when the player is in bsh-boathouse and slave driver is in bsh-boathouse: now slavestuck is slavestuck + 1; if slavestuck is 12 begin; if the player carries revolver begin; say "[co]The consciousness dawns on me that the slave driver has brought a knife - well, a scimitar - to a gun fight.[/co]"; otherwise; if the player carries wooden box begin; say "[co]You don't think you'll be able to get past this point until you've found a way into the wooden box.[/co]"; otherwise; say "[co]You're missing the crucial item that lets you get past this stage. Maybe backtrack and search around some more.[/co]"; end if; end if; end if; the rowboat is enterable scenery vehicle in bsh-boathouse. Understand "boat" as rowboat. gas mask is in rowboat. The description of rowboat is "A sturdy little rowboat, suitable for going out to sea. The name 'H.H. MARKOS III' is written on the side[if there is a thing in the rowboat]. There is [a list of things in the rowboat] lying on its floor[end if]." Instead of entering rowboat in the presence of slave driver: say "I get into the rowboat.[p]Gripping my flailing arms under his armpit, the slave driver strips me of my clothing and throws it in the water with all my stuff.[p]'Hey!' I yell. 'What the hell are you doing?'[p]'Not your clothes,' he explains helpfully. 'You own nothing. Put this on.' He straps a gas mask over my head and ties my arms to the back of the boat.[p]As I attempt to protest through the mask, he chops the rope from its cleat, and the boat drifts into the lake."; now everything safe carried by the player is in startroom; now everything safe worn by the player is in startroom; now horse is not ridden; now everything carried by the player is in bch-bedroom; now player carries safety line; now everything worn by the player is in bch-bedroom; now the player wears gas mask; move slave driver to Poison Lake; move the player to Poison Lake; shitstorm happens in four turns from now; Instead of pulling safety line when the location is Poison Lake: say "[co]Uh-oh. Your hands are bound, and you can't reach the line.[/co]"; Instead of going north in bsh-boathouse when the slave driver's body is in bsh-boathouse: if the player does not wear gas mask begin; say "I can’t go out into the mist without a gas mask. I’d lose my head."; otherwise; if the player is in rowboat begin; continue the action; otherwise; say "I don't think it's a good idea to swim outside. The lake is full of toxic trash that's probably leaked into the water."; end if; end if; Lakeside Beach is north of bsh-boathouse. "Mist covers the water and trash lines the beach. A recent shipwreck is sprawled out on a rock. I can see a rocky cliff towering upwards and turning into one of the black walls before the mist obscures it completely. A girl lies on the beach." Open Lake is north of Lakeside Beach. "Mist obscures everything but trash. Without a good idea of where I’m going I should probably turn back." Open Lake is east of Open Lake. Open Lake is north of Open Lake. Open Lake is west of Open Lake. the shipwreck is scenery in Lakeside Beach. The description of shipwreck is "Another rowboat wrecked against the rocks. Hey, wait a minute... this is my boat! It doesn’t have any markings, but I remember the blue paint as if it were yesterday." the cliff is scenery in Lakeside Beach. the description of cliff is "A quite unclimbable cliff. Rocks jut out from it at weird angles. Towards its top it merges with the smooth black stone of the outer walls." the black stone walls are scenery in Lakeside Beach. the description of black stone walls is "Black stone as far up as I can see." Understand "outer" as black stone walls. the girl is a woman in Lakeside Beach. girl is scenery. The description of girl is "She looks hurt. She’s wearing a black button-down shirt and a long black skirt. I think she was left here to die–without any kind of mask. I don’t know if she’s K.O.ed or what, but even as I walk up to her she’s not responding to any sort of noise. Her eyes are closed." the black button-down shirt is an unimplement in Lakeside Beach. the long black skirt is an unimplement in Lakeside Beach. Instead of doing something to girl when the player is in rowboat: say "I believe I will have to disembark from my rowboat in order to take a close look at this girl." Instead of touching girl, say "I should keep my hands to myself." Check taking off the gas mask: if the player is in Lakeside Beach or the player is in Open Lake begin; say "I’d have to be insane to take off my mask outside, after I remembered all of this!"; stop the action; end if; Does the player mean wearing the gas mask: it is very likely. Does the player mean giving the slave driver's mask to girl: it is very likely. Instead of giving the slave driver's mask to girl: say "I strap the mask around the girl’s head. It covers just her nose and mouth. Her eyes open momentarily, then close again against the mist, and her head shakes a little. Well, she’s awake. Now I just need to wait."; wait for any key; say "A couple of minutes pass. She seems to be breathing normally. Eventually she opens her eyes again. '...get out,' she says.[p]'Huh?'[p]'The slaver is... we need to get out.'[p]'I killed him.'[p]'...good.' She falls asleep again.[p]She was following behind me on another boat–I remember now. We had snuck out of a town somewhere far upstream. She must have found me, carried me inside, and given me a change of clothes. She’s stronger than she looks! But her boat is nowhere to be seen. The slave driver must have cast it out on the lake.[p]The mist sweeps over me and clings to my pajamas.[br]I shiver a little."; wait for any key; say "About an hour later, she comes to again. This time, she sits up and looks at me. 'You escaped,' she says. She looks tired. 'Thank God.'[lady 5][p]'Well. The gun helped.'[p]'There was a gun in there?'[p]'Yeah...'[p]'...' She looks away, ashamed with herself.[p]'What’s my name?' I ask. 'And what’s yours?'[p]There’s a brief pause. Then she turns back to me, eyes wide. 'I... I don’t know!'[p]'Hey. That makes two of us.'[p]”; wait for any key; say "Hints of memories flit through my head. Our valley is too far from here to even think of going back to. The two of us have been away for a long time. She’s taken me across mountains, hiding in Mist-free caves with strange people. For years, even. But why?[p]'Were we on the run from that slave driver?'[p]She shakes her head.[p]'I didn’t think so either. But we’ve been on the run.'[p]'Yeah.'[p]'Why?'[p]She looks at me sternly. 'You... you always ask such stupid questions!'[p]'So you know?'[p]'There’s no way I could know! I’ve forgotten everything!' She tries to stand up, staggers a little, and falls on her butt.[p]'You remember me.'[p]She looks at me. The silence seems full of blessings."; wait for any key; say “'We were searching for something, weren’t we?'[p]'Yeah. It wasn’t here, though.'[p]'It wasn’t?'[p]'No... it was far away... over those hills.' She gestures west.[p]'It was really important,' I say to myself. 'I wonder what it was.'[p]'I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.'"; wait for any key; say “'We should get going,' she says, standing up in earnest.[p]'You’ll be leading again?'[p]She glares down at me. 'Look what happened when I let you lead!' she sighs petulantly. 'Never again!'[p]I smile. I know this fake anger, this dramatic insistence on going first. I remember all too well.[p]'Well,' I say, 'if you insist.'[p][b]*** You have won ***[/b]"; now the player carries true love; carry out the concluding activity with Creepy House; Before giving gas mask to girl: say "This would involve taking the gas mask off my own head, which would be unwise."; stop the action. True Love is a valuable masc thing. The description of true love is "Ach, [we] hate[-s] it when the real treasure is true love. Most treasures don't make [us] uneasy when [we] sell[-s] them to pay for health insurance." The epilogue of true love is "which slips through your clumsy fingers, leaving your life immeasurably richer and brutally poorer". The hisp of true love is "verdadero amor". Understand "verdadero" or "amor" as true love. Poison Lake is a room. "We're rowing through a lake that looks fairly poisonous. It's dark purple and filled with trash and garbage. The mist is so thick that I can't see more than a few yards in front of the boat. Today's forecast: not good[first time].[br]I am in deep yoghurt. There's really nothing I can do here[only]." Report looking in Poison Lake for the first time: bandname 6. the boat is scenery in Poison Lake. The description of the boat is "This accursed boat that my arms are tied to." the junk is scenery in Poison Lake. The description of junk is "It's impossible to describe how much junk there is in the water. I spot some umbrellas, clothing, furniture, books, lots of paper, discarded food containers, and televisions." Understand "trash" or "umbrella" or "umbrellas" or "clothing" or "furniture" or "books" or "paper" or "containers" or "television" or "televisions" or "garbage" as junk. the lake mist is scenery in Poison Lake. The description of lake mist is "The mist is impeding my sight, but more importantly, it's all over my skin. I feel goosebumps." a slave driver is a man in bsh-boathouse. The description of slave driver is "I look timidly at the slave driver, and he looks back at me with a grimace." Understand "man"or "dude" as slave driver. Instead of kissing Slave Driver: say "Flattery will get me nowhere." Instead of attacking Slave Driver: say "I'd love to clobber this guy with my fists, but he does have a knife." slave driver's mask is worn by slave driver. The description of slave driver's mask is "A gas mask suitable for braving the mist." Instead of wearing slave driver's mask: say "I can't wear that[note 204]!"; Instead of swearing obscenely when the current game is Big Creepy House: say "My superego mocks my failures, pushing me to the edge of mental breakdown." At the time when shitstorm happens: if the player is in Poison Lake begin; say "As we drift up to an unfamiliar shoreline, the slave driver climbs over to my side of the boat and binds my arms through a loop. 'No funny business,' he explains helpfully.[p]I stare through the gas mask at my first glimpse of the mainland. There are oak trees here, and mulch and mosses underfoot. It seems somewhat familiar. In fact, it reminds me a little bit of home.[p]Suddenly, I realize--[p]'Hey!' I yell to the slave driver, who's busy lugging the rowboat up the shore. 'You've got the wrong person! I'm nobody's slave--I live over the hill, in the western valley!'[p]He drops the boat and turns around. Thank God, I'm free! Quickly, I try to remember where my town is. I have only fleeting glimpses, but if I can get over the hill... find some clothing, hopefully... maybe I'll see my family there, and I'll remember some more. Freedom is at hand."; wait for any key; say "[p]As I'm lost in thought, suddenly the mask is ripped off my face. I look up at the slave driver in horror. 'What are you doing?!' I beg; my hands are still bound.[p]'You remember too much,' he pants. 'Be back later.'[p]He grabs his scimitar and walks into the mist lazily. No! This can't be happening! I kick furiously against the side of the boat, and start to work on the bonds with my hands. I need to get to the top of this hill before I lose it."; wait for any key; say "[p]My left hand reaches up to catch part of the knot, and I tug at it. But it's only getting tighter. I start panicking, and my breathing gets faster. I shove my right arm around through the bonds and the boat tips over slightly, tossing my head down and up. I've got to undo the rope... but why?[p]I shake my head a few times and try to recall what I was doing. The mist is getting to me too quickly; it can't have been more than a few minutes, but my mind's getting hazy already. Slave driver's going to come back, right? Why was I trying to escape? I crane my head behind me and look at the strange rowboat I'm sitting in. Something...[p]A brief glimpse of another person in my mind's eye. I've left someone behind.[p]Wait... behind where? Where was I before I was here?"; wait for any key; say "[p][b]*** Who am I? ***[/b]"; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with Big Creepy House; deathify 21; end if; revolver is a masc thing. Understand "pistol" and "gun" as revolver. The description of revolver is "This is a gun. I’ve never owned a gun before. Or if I have, I don’t remember it. Anyway, I don’t know if this gun is loaded, and I don’t want to break it by checking[note 150]." the hisp of revolver is "revólver". Instead of examining revolver when the current game is not Big Creepy House: say "[We] [are*] not exactly a firearms expert; they don't work in many of the tunnels, and they really mess with Article 4 of the Spelunker's Code ('violence isn't the answer to this one.') But you know enough to say that this is a snub-nosed revolver, old but not antique, and loaded. Also, slightly scorched and very sooty. Not a great big stopping-power weapon or anything, but not tiny, so probably a .38? It feels much heavier than its size would suggest."; Shooting it with is an action applying to one thing and one carried thing. Understand "shoot [something]" as shooting it with. Understand "shoot [something] with [something]" as shooting it with. Understand "shoot [something] at [something]" as shooting it with (with nouns reversed). Rule for supplying a missing second noun while shooting something with: if the revolver is visible begin; say "(with [the revolver])"; now the second noun is the revolver; otherwise; say "You really need a missile weapon for that."; end if; Instead of shooting something with something: say "[The second noun] isn't a suitable weapon."; the slave driver carries a scimitar. scimitar is sharp. The description of scimitar is "A fearsome-looking scimitar." the slave driver's body is a thing. The description of slave driver's body is "The body of an ex-slave driver." Understand "driver" or "dude" or "corpse" as slave driver's body. Instead of taking the slave driver's body: say "I’d rather not lug that around with me, thank you." Instead of shooting something with the revolver: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "Guns don't work in cod-fantasy."; -- Sweet Sixteen: say "That'd be... unwise, given the gun-toting Castle Doctrine maniac lurking at the story's edges."; -- Big Creepy House: say "I'm not interested in target practice."; -- Dracula: say "La violencia no es la respuesta a esta."; -- otherwise: say "Violence isn't the answer to this one."; Instead of shooting the player with the revolver: if the current game is: -- Mountains of Ket: say "Guns don't work in cod-fantasy."; -- Big Creepy House: say "That would be disastrous!"; -- Dracula: say "La violencia no es la respuesta a esta."; -- otherwise: say "Death's survivable, but that doesn't make it something you'd do for shits and giggles."; Instead of shooting the slave driver with the revolver: say "I whip out my gun and make a clean shot[note 151]. The slave driver falls down dead in an instant.[bracket]Your score has just gone up by one point.[close bracket]"; accomplish accomp1; remove the slave driver from play; move the slave driver's mask to the location of the player; move the scimitar to the location of the player; move the slave driver's body to the location of the player; [may not work in boat] Chapter 1 - The Fire Man Go Down Below The block burning rule is not listed in any rulebook. Check burning (this is the unburnable man rule): if the noun is a person begin; say "What a horrible thought."; stop the action; end if; Check burning (this is the unburnable thing rule): if the noun is not burnable begin; say "That's unlikely to provide a decent flame."; stop the action; end if; [maybe a destroyed-by-fire but not useful as a firelight rule] Check burning a burnable thing (this is the no ignition rule): if the player carries a lit thing or the player carries the lighter begin; continue the action; otherwise; if the current game is Big Creepy House begin; say "[We] need something that's burning to set [the noun] on fire."; otherwise if the current game is Dracula; say "Necesitas algo que se quema de quemar [the noun]."; otherwise; say "[We] need a source of fire for that."; end if; stop the action; end if; Carry out burning a burnable thing: say "[We] light[-s] [the noun] with [the random lit thing carried by the player]."; now the noun is lit; Before printing the name of a lit burnable thing (called pyre): if the current game is not Dracula, say "burning "; After printing the name of a lit burnable thing (called pyre): if the current game is Dracula, say " ardiente (que proporciona la luz)"; A thing has a number called burncount. The burncount of a thing is usually 7. The burncount of wooden box is 5. A thing is usually unlit. boxburn is a number that varies. boxburn is 10. Fireman rules is a rulebook. This is the mighty fire rule: if boxburn < 1 begin; now wooden box is burnable; end if; if the brick oven is fiery begin; if there is an unlit burnable thing in the brick oven begin; if the player is in bsh-kitchen, say "Flames emanating from the burning brick oven engulf [the list of unlit burnable things in the brick oven]."; repeat with Z running through unlit burnable things in the brick oven begin; now Z is lit; end repeat; end if; end if; The mighty fire rule is listed first in the fireman rulebook. A fireman rule: if the wooden box is in the brick oven and the brick oven is fiery and the wooden box is unlit begin; now boxburn is boxburn - 1; if the wooden box is visible, say "The wooden box is getting warmer."; end if; The bookburn count is a number that varies. the bookburn count is 0. A fireman rule: repeat with N running through lit burnable things begin; now the burncount of N is the burncount of N - 1; if the burncount of N is 1 begin; if N is visible, say "[The N] [is-are] almost totally aflame!"; otherwise if the burncount of N < 1; if N is visible, say "[The N] turn[s] to ash[if N is wooden box], leaving a revolver behind[note 148][end if]."; now N is unsafe; if N is wooden box, move revolver to brick oven; remove N from play; if N is a book, now the bookburn count is the bookburn count + 1; if the bookburn count is 12 begin; accomplish accomp8; end if; end if; end repeat; A fireman rule: if there is a lit burnable thing in the brick oven and the brick oven is chilled begin; if the player is in bsh-kitchen, say "The brick oven glows with the warmth of [the random lit burnable thing in the brick oven]."; now the brick oven is fiery; end if; if there are exactly 0 lit burnable things in the brick oven and the brick oven is fiery begin; if the player is in bsh-kitchen, say "The burning brick oven has cooled down."; now the brick oven is chilled; end if; Every turn: follow the fireman rules. Check taking: if the brick oven encloses the noun and the brick oven is fiery begin; say "It looks like we’ve got a nice fire going in the burning brick oven. I don’t want to reach inside right now."; stop the action; end if; Part 8 - Take One [TODO] Pursuit time is a kind of value. -3:59 specifies a pursuit time. Take One is a game in startroom. The precis of Take One is "[set link 507][bold type]Take One[roman type][end link] by Robert Street (2005)[line break] 1.5/5 stars". The description of Take One is "[b]Take One[/b][line break]by Robert Street[line break]2005[p]Development System: ADRIFT[p]* [b]Nuking the fridge made more sense than this game (RR #3)[/b] by Andy Devil[br]Take One by Robert Street is a very short, very linear game. In fact, even with the walkthrough, you will likely have a hard time beating it if you don't follow it to the word. A pretty unrealistic time counter (even trivialities and failed actions use up time, for example) limits the exploring you will do in this game and pretty much ensures you have to play it again and again to figure it out. Aside from this bad design decision, the syntax is quite picky, which is guaranteed to hamper your abilities of puzzle-solving. Due to its short length, with some patience the game should be beatable though.[p]Compared even to the bad gameplay, the story of Take One isn't a beautiful and unique snowflake either. The premise tells you that you are a film director in command of a Indiana Jones-referencing character, yet the perspective is just like in any other interactive fiction game. Crystals, supernatural beings and the likes are used in pretty stereotypical manner and there isn't even an attempt to make the story or setting different from something that was thought up in five minutes. A particular odd writing quirk is that the stereotypical dumb blonde protagonist is insulted by the movie director (which is you!) in both the very beginning and end of the game, yet there isn't the slightest justification for it anywhere in the game text! [p]Bottom line: Another 'play and forget' game. 2/10[p][co]There are a couple of other reviews, along similar lines.[/co][p][set link 527][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]". Carry out opening Take One: clear the screen; say "[b]TAKE ONE[/b][p]by Robert Street (Rafgon)[p]Filming today begins on your new action movie, 'Indianette Jones and the Orb of One.' First off is one of the film's main action scenes. The actress playing the title character is on set and you can see her through the monitors. You are not sure she is a good fit for the role. She looks great, with her blonde hair and the way she fills out her skimpy explorer outfit, but her acting skills are non-existent. Actually, having talked to her, her intelligence is also non-existent[lady 4][note 36].[br]You will have to give her directions on the set. It is a simple set of tasks. To open the crystal she will have to read the book aloud and rub the ring. She will then have two and a half minutes to grab the orb and set a trap for the demon. You are not quite sure yourself yet what you want for some of the other details. You never did read the storyline you were given by the studio in much detail[note 37]. You will just have to watch and make it up as you go along. She won't be able to improvise, so you will have to."; wait for any key; say "[p]TAKE ONE[p]"; wait for any key; move the player to t1-passage; now the player wears ring; now the player carries whip; now the player carries journal; now the story viewpoint is third person feminine; Instead of examining the player when the current game is Take One: say "Indianette Jones is as well as can be expected, considering the circumstances. Indianette Jones is wearing [a list of things worn by the player]."; Take One has a number called gamecount. The gamecount of Take One is 1. The demon clock is a pursuit time that varies. The demon clock is 2:40. To reset Take One: now the journal is unread; now the player wears Indy's ring; now the player carries whip; now the player carries journal; remove the orb of one from play; now the crystal is inactive; now the crystal is in Ancient Gallery; now the jewel is part of the broken statue; now the machine is switched on; now the cage fixture is closed; remove the demon from play; remove the machine from play; now the demon clock is 2:40; now the gamecount of Take One is the gamecount of Take One + 1; now the right hand status line is "[turn count]"; say "[p]TAKE [gamecount of Take One][p]"; wait for any key; now the player is in t1-passage; The saferoom of Take One is t1-passage. the Indy's ring is a wearable valuable masc tiny thing. The description of Indy's ring is "The ring is a simple band of gold. It appears ordinary but there is more to it than meets the eye. When rubbed, after the passage from the journal is read aloud, it will open the crystal." The printed name of Indy's ring is "gold ring". The hisp of Indy's ring is "anillo". Understand "anillo" or "gold" as Indy's ring. The epilogue of Indy's ring is "a worthless prop, possibly worth a few quid if you get a dwarf to inscribe it and flog it at a con". To say orbwhine: say "[one of][or][note 46][or][stopping]"; To say indywhine: say "[one of][or][or][or][or][note 49][or][or][note 50][or][or][or][note 51][or][stopping]"; the journal is a masc burnable thing. The description of journal is "The journal is an ancient, leather-bound book, dusty with the passing years. It is almost too fragile to touch without damaging in some way. According to the plot of the movie, it tells the story of the [if current game is Take One]orb of one[orbwhine][otherwise]Orb of One[end if]. When a certain passage from it is read aloud it starts the process of opening the crystal. The orb of one can then be taken, although the demon also trapped within the crystal will soon chase down anyone who releases it and steals the orb." The hisp of journal is "diario de Indianette". Understand "diario" or "diario del Indianette" or "book" as journal. Instead of examining the journal when the current game is Take One: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] can examine the journal, but there is no need to read it aloud here."; Instead of rubbing the ring when the current game is Take One: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] does not need to rub the ring here."; the whip is a masc thing. The description of whip is "The whip looks almost like a fashion accessory[note 43] for Indianette Jones, but it is also functional if necessary." The hisp of whip is "látigo". Understand "latigo" as whip. Movie Set is a region. t1-passage is a room. The printed name of t1-passage is "Passage (on screen 1)". The description of t1-passage is "The broken bones of tiny rodents crunch underfoot as Indianette[note 38] Jones makes her[note 90] way along the passage. It is dark and shadowy for the most part, illuminated poorly by the pale daylight at the end.[p]The passage extends northeast to the outside world and southwest to an ancient gallery." t1-passage is in Movie Set. Indianette Jones is a woman in t1-passage. "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] is [if the crystal is active]all ready to get moving in this chase scene, but she is waiting for her next order[otherwise]standing around, looking bored and waiting for her next order[end if]." The description of Indianette Jones is "Indianette Jones is the actress that was chosen by the studio for this film[note 39]. She looks the part, but doesn't act it." Instead of examining the player when the current game is Take One: say "You are the director of this film, and you are sure that it is going to be a success[note 45]." Before looking when the current game is Take One: now Indianette Jones is in the location of the player; Instead of going northeast in t1-passage: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] begins to move offstage, but is ordered back on[note 137], as the filming is not finished yet."; the broken bones are scenery in t1-passage. The description of broken bones is "These bones are not real. Animal rights groups would cause too much of a fuss if these effects were created in an authentic manner." Ancient Gallery is southwest of t1-passage. "The walls about Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] are ancient and crumbling, yet modern looking portraits hang from them all the same. The faces depicted twist and writhe in torment. It is almost possible to [i]hear[/i] their cries and imagine that it is a warning for anyone wishing to open up the crystal. Against one wall lies a large crystal, as tall as a man and wide as a chariot, in which is imprisoned the form of... something.[p]A passage leads away to the south and another to the northeast, at the end of which a light shines faintly." The printed name of Ancient Gallery is "Ancient Gallery (on screen 2)". Ancient Gallery is in Movie Set. some portraits are scenery in Ancient Gallery. The description of portraits is "The portraits look too modern, which was probably a mistake by set design. Still, the paintings fit the mood." Understand "portrait/painting/paintings" as portraits. the large crystal is scenery in Ancient Gallery. The description of large crystal is "The large crystal has a blackness inside of it. This is where the orb of one[orbwhine] is trapped, but there is also a demon inside the crystal to protect the orb. In reality it is only a digital construct on the screen, and Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] has to pretend that there is something there[note 44]." The crystal can be active or inactive. The crystal is inactive. The journal can be unread or read. The journal is unread. Instead of examining the journal in Ancient Gallery: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] flicks through the journal until she comes to the right passage. She then begins intoning the spell. It is some ancient language, but it really just sounds like gibberish. It could just be the way she is pronouncing it though. The journal crumbles into dust after Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] is finished. Now all that is left is to rub the ring."; remove journal from play; now journal is read; Instead of examining a book in Ancient Gallery when journal is unread: if the noun is: -- Almagest: say "Indianette clears her throat. 'And therefore meditating that the other two genera of the theoretical would be expounded in terms of conjecture rather than in terms of scientific understanding: the theological because it is in no way phenomenal and attainable, but the physical because...'[p]'Cut, cut,' you lament. 'Wrong book.'"; -- Didache: say "Indianette flicks through the book for an appropriate passage. 'Τέκνον μου, φεῦγε ἀπὸ παντὸς πονηροῦ καὶ ἀπὸ παντὸς ὁμοίου αὐτου. μὴ γίνου ὀργίλος, ὁδηγεῖ γὰρ ἡ ὀργὴ πρὸς τὸν φόνον, μηδὲ ζηλωτὴς μηδὲ ἐπιστικὸς μηδὲ θυμικός· ἐκ γὰρ τούτων ἁπάντων φόνοι γεννῶνται...'[p]'Stop that,' you snap, 'I vaguely remember some ill-declined Latin being in the script about here. You know, magic.'[p]'I don't [i]speak[/i] Latin,' points out Indianette, 'and this flows a lot more -'[p]'Stick with the script, missy. Action!'"; -- Talmud: say "Indianette drops the book open somewhere near the beginning and recites. 'Said R. A'ha bar Abayi to Rabhina: What does the questioner mean? Unintentionally and without remembering (that it is Sabbath), then what does the expression 'allowed' mean? To whom? He is still not aware of it. On the other hand, if he did it unintentionally and afterward he remembered of the Sabbath...'[p]'What is this crap? Just say the damn line.'"; -- Leviathian: say "Indianette flips to the contents, then to a point near the end of the book. 'Neverthelesse, the contrary Doctrine, namely, that there be Incorporeall Spirits, hath hitherto so prevailed in the Church, that the use of Exorcisme, (that is to say, of ejection of Devills by Conjuration) is thereupon built; and (though rarely and faintly practised) is not yet totally given over. That there were many Daemoniaques in the Primitive Church, and few Mad-men, and other such singular diseases...'[p]'Pardon? I want fancy-sounding gibberish, not... what is that?'[p]'Thomas Hobbes, arguing that demonology is a scriptural misreading and demons are imaginary, the fruit of superstition and ignorance.'[p]'Look, miss, there's a demon in this movie whether you like it or not. Quit stalling and follow the script.'"; -- Metamorphoses: say "Indianette turns towards the camera, strikes a lyrical pose with one hand upturned and extended, the book propped at her hip, and declaims.[p][i]'Of bodies changed to other shapes I sing.[br]Assist, you Gods (from you these changes spring)[br]And, from the World's first fabric to these times,[br]Deduce my never-discontinued Rhymes...'[/i][p]'CUT. That magic mumbo-jumbo was written by real screenwriters. Stop acting as if you know better than them,' you growl.[p]'Five years at the RSC and this is what I get?' mutters Indianette, returning to her spot."; -- City of God: say "Indianette reads. 'Ahem. That the contrary propensities of good and bad angels have arisen, not from a difference in their nature and origin, since God, the good Author and Creator of all essences, created them both, but from a difference in their wills and desires, it is impossible to doubt. While some steadfastly...'[p]'CUT. Really? What is this?'[p]'I don't know, maybe I thought that a brief divergence into Early Church demonology might inject some substance into this wreck of a script?'[p]'It wouldn't. Places, everyone.'"; -- Colliget: say "Indianette Jones apparently can't read Arabic. Why didn't you hire a method actor?"; -- Symposium: say "Indianette cracks her neck, shifts her feet around, and assumes the body language of a stand-up comedian. 'Alright, that shit you wanted? I got it. So a couple days back I was headed downtown when I run into one of my girls, and she's all, I heard you were at Agathon's when Socrates and his crew were talking shit about love and all that, so spill. Now, tell the truth, I wasn't there, I had it from Aristodemus - little guy, no shoes -, and reading between the lines I figure he got pretty messed up at said party, so we have what might charitably be described as a through-a-glass-darkly situation here. But I still figure, why spoil a good story with the facts, right? So we're walking...'[p]'You want to be looking for work? No? Get back to the script.'"; -- Iliad: say "Indianette declaims:[p][i]Rage-Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus['] son Achilles,[br]murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,[br]hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls…[/i][p]'Cut! What translation even [i]is[/i] that crap?'[p]'Fagles. You should be glad I didn't go with [i]All Day Permanent Red[/i].'[p]'That'll be quite enough of that. PLACES.'"; -- Life of Cuthbert: say "Indianette quickly skims through the index and flips to a page. 'Whilst they were going, the man began to cry, and the tears ran down his cheeks, for he was afraid lest Cuthbert, finding her afflicted with a devil, should think that she had been a false servant of the Lord, and that her faith was not real. The man of God consoled him...'[p]'Read on your own time! When I'm paying you, read your damn lines.'[p]'I'm just not entirely comfortable with dealing with a creature that's basically a Christian-animism idea of a seizure spirit,' says Indianette.[p]'If you wanted comfortable, why'd you get into movies? Back in line.'"; -- Aeneid: say "[i]Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris[br]Italiam, fato profugus, Laviniaque venit[br]litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto[/i][p]'Pardon? What the shit is that?'[p]'Well, I thought that as long as we were reciting Latin on the assumption that nobody understands it, we might as well put in a gag for the people who [i]do[/i] speak Latin and flinch every time -'[p]'I don't tolerate deviations from the script. You're not the artist here, you're a warm body with vocal chords. Do your job.'"; Instead of examining Bottle Manuscript in Ancient Gallery when journal is unread: say "Indianette flips to a random page. '[i]In between the inner and outer walls are thousands of bird skeletons, an eerie sight which Governor is at a loss to explain. The guards must clear the paths they use every week because birds seem to drop out of the sky and die here.[/i]'[p]'Cut! God, there's nothing I loathe more than actors who try to sneak in their inevitably terrible attempts at writing.'[p]'It's not mine,' protests Indianette. 'I just... there was a mix-up with the scripts, somehow? Let's take it from my entrance.'" Instead of examining unlocked diary in Ancient Gallery when journal is unread: say "Indianette begins reading. 'June 1st, 1984. [i]Temple of Doom[/i] was the worst. So so stupid, and who cares about Harrison Ford any more anyhow, but it's an excuse. Tried to talk Heather into letting me sleep over afterwards, but her grandparents -'[p]'CUT. What possible fucking relevance has this to this, or any movie?'[p]Indianette has clearly been preparing a small speech here. 'Look, we all know that the studio's pulling the plug anyway if we don't turn this around, and I think that we can repurpose some of the material here. So the protagonist is a young woman struggling with a family legacy of sexual abuse, via a quest through liminally-fantastic dreamworlds, initially derived from mid-80s pop culture, only over the course of the - look, I've spoken to some people over at the Creature Shop who would give their left nut to tackle some serious adult material -'[p]'And that is why actresses aren't paid to think. I suppose at the end she reclaims her sexuality? Just say the damn lines.'"; the orb of one is a valuable thing. The description of the orb of one is "[if the current game is Take One]This spherical orb looks like a valuable piece of jewellery. It is also supposed to have some mystical powers as well, but this scene is too early in the film to reveal them[otherwise]A snowglobe-sized, opalescent sphere, quite heavy. Fire glitters in its milky depths[end if]." The indefinite article of the orb of one is "the". The epilogue of the orb of one is "which is an obvious plot coupon, and thus covers four weeks of utilities rather than two". After taking the orb of one: say "Taken[note 165]." Rule for printing the name of the orb of one when the current game is not Take One and the current game is not Dracula: say "Orb of One". The hisp of orb is "el Orbe de Una". Understand "orbe" or "una" or "orbe de una" as orb. the orb of one is hisp-proper. Instead of waiting when the current game is Take One: say "Time passes..." Instead of rubbing the ring in Ancient Gallery when the journal is read: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] rubs the ring vigorously. Nothing happens for a few seconds until a few drips start to appear on the outside of the crystal. Soon these drips multiply, as the crystal dissolves into a puddle on the floor. The puddle starts to evaporate, revealing the orb of one[orbwhine]. However, the evaporating black steam from the puddle is beginning to take a physical form. This is the demon, who will kill whoever released him and eat the orb after becoming fully formed. He should appear again in about two and a half minutes[note 47]."; remove the crystal from play; now the crystal is active; move the orb of one to Ancient Gallery; now the right hand status line is "TIME LEFT: [the demon clock]"; Instead of rubbing the ring in the Ancient Gallery when the journal is not read and the current game is Take One: say "It is not time to rub the ring yet."; Instead of rubbing the ring in Ancient Gallery when the journal is read and the crystal is active: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] has already rubbed the ring."; Every turn when the current game is Take One and the crystal is active: now the demon clock is the demon clock - 0:10; if the demon clock is 0:00 begin; say "The demon lets out a scream, as it suddenly emerges somewhere behind Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only].[run paragraph on]"; if the player can see the jewel and the player can see the orb begin; say " It rushes into the [location of the player] and looks hungrily at both the orb and jewel, almost seeming to be confused over which is which. Unfortunately, no trap has been set and Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only]is standing too close to the demon to escape. As a digital construct the demon has no physical presence and cannot actually hurt Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only]. However, it does mean that this take is a failure and you will have to start again."; deathify 7; wait for any key; reset Take One; otherwise if the jewel is not visible; say " It moves towards Indianette Jones, but then pauses momentarily. A horrible crunching sound can be heard, with the demon eating something[note 131]."; now demon is in the location of the jewel; if jewel is in cage fixture and cage fixture is closed, now demon is in cage room; remove the jewel from play; end if; end if; if the demon clock is -0:10 begin; now the right hand status line is "[turn count]"; if the demon is not in the cage fixture or the cage fixture is not closed begin; if the player wears mages cloak begin; say "The demon rushes into the humming chamber and looks hungrily at the orb. Unfortunately, no trap has been set and Indianette Jones is standing too close to the demon to escape.[p]Indianette spins around, the wizard cloak forming a dramatic swirl, and holds up two fingers in a kung-fu pose. 'Fortified Banishment!'[p]There's momentary silence on set. Then the producer pipes up with 'C'mon, no way she's got the spell levels for that.'[p]'Well, yeah, it'd make nonsense of the threat if I could've done that all along. But we've all got to get through this somehow, right?' There is a small chorus of sympathetic groans from around the set.[p]Sigh. Evidently you're the only one with the slightest sense of professionalism. 'All, right, you've had your little fun, Indianette or whatever. Let's stick to the script next time, shall we? If you've even read it? Places, everyone.'"; wait for any key; reset Take One; otherwise; say "The demon rushes into the humming chamber and looks hungrily at the orb. Unfortunately, no trap has been set and Indianette Jones is standing too close to the demon to escape. As a digital construct the demon has no physical presence and cannot actually hurt Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only]. However, it does mean that this take is a failure and you will have to start again."; deathify 7; wait for any key; reset Take One; end if; end if; end if; Instead of going south in Ancient Gallery when the player does not carry the orb: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] needs the orb of one[orbwhine] first, before the chase begins."; Ruined Statue is south of Ancient Gallery. "Above Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] towers a broken statue, ravaged by the passage of time. A crown of stone rests upon its brow, a glittering spherical jewel its centrepiece. About the actress lurks malevolent shadows, seeming to move with a life of their own, although this is an illusion that vanishes the moment anyone looks closely at them.[p]Passages in the ruined walls of this place lie to the north and west." The printed name of Ruined Statue is "Ruined Statue (on screen 3)". Ruined Statue is in Movie Set. the shadows are scenery in Ruined Statue. The description of shadows is "The lighting effects have created a very eerie atmosphere in this room." the crown is scenery in Ruined Statue. The description of crown is "The crown of stone is worn by the statue. It would be a little too heavy for Indianette Jones[indywhine] to wear." the broken statue is scenery in Ruined Statue. The description of broken statue is "The statue looks old and decayed, although it was only made last week." a spherical jewel is part of broken statue. The description of spherical jewel is "The jewel is a similar size and shape to the orb of one,[orbwhine] but it is not nearly as valuable." The jewel can be pinged. The jewel is not pinged. Instead of dropping jewel when the current game is Take One: say "Just moving the jewel from the statue to the floor seems like a waste of energy." Instead of taking spherical jewel when spherical jewel is part of broken statue: say "Indianette Jones[indywhine] cannot just take the jewel from where she is standing[note 209]."; Using it on is an action applying to one thing and one thing. Understand "use [something] on [something]" as using it on. Understand "use [something] with [something]" as using it on. Instead of using the whip on the spherical jewel: if the jewel is part of the broken statue begin; say "Indianette Jones cracks her whip at the jewel and misses. The second time she also misses, but on the third time the jewel is hit and it comes tumbling down into the arms of Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only]."; now the jewel is pinged; now the player carries the spherical jewel; otherwise; say "I don't understand what you mean!"; end if; Instead of using the whip on the crown when the jewel is part of the broken statue: say "I don't understand what you want me to do with the whip.[p][co]Oh, for heaven's sake. Here, let me fix that.[/co][p]"; try using the whip on the spherical jewel; Instead of using something (called foo) on something: say "I don't understand what you want me to do with [the foo][if the jewel is pinged][note 48][end if]."; Cage Room is west of Ruined Statue. "[if cage fixture is closed]At the centre of this circular chamber is a cage, sunken into the floor, in which the remains of some beast lie decomposing. Claw marks on the bars of the cage indicate the beast fought ferociously to escape its imprisonment, yet failed. And died. The bars of the cage reach from the floor to the ceiling. Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] can just fit through the thin path around the side of the cage.[otherwise]There is no sign of the cage that was previously in this location, apart from a sunken depression in the centre of the floor. The bars have fully retracted, following your use of the machine in the adjoining room. The remains of some beast still lie decomposing inside the depression. The beast has finally been freed, although it is a little late, as it has already died. Despite its best efforts, it could not escape the now hidden cage.[end if][p]To the west there is a large chamber from which a humming sound emanates; to the east there is a statue." The printed name of Cage Room is "Cage (on screen 4)". Cage Room is in Movie Set. the cage fixture is scenery in Cage Room. cage fixture is a closed transparent container. The printed name of cage fixture is "[if closed]cage[otherwise]depression[end if]". The description of cage fixture is "[if closed]The bars of the cage surround a depression in the centre of the floor of this room. The cage extends from the floor right up to the ceiling. Anyone or anything trapped in this cage is not going to escape easily. The cage was built by professionals and could be used as an actual prison. If anyone plays up on set, they're headed for the cage[otherwise]The cage has been retracted and is not visible at present[end if]." Understand "depression" as cage fixture. the decomposing beast remains are scenery in Cage Room. The description of beast remains is "The remains of a beast are in the depression. It is difficult to tell what the beast was, mainly because there is no equivalent in the real world. It was designed by one of the artists on the crew. It is lucky it is not real, as the smell would be terrible otherwise." Instead of inserting something into cage fixture: say "It is not a good idea to put that in the depression." Instead of inserting jewel into cage fixture: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] throws the jewel through the cage bars into the depression."; now jewel is in cage fixture; Instead of taking something in cage fixture: say "The cage bars are in the way of Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only]."; Instead of inserting orb of one into cage fixture: say "Without the orb, the rest of the film cannot take place."; Instead of dropping the orb of one when the current game is Take One: say "Without the orb, the rest of the film cannot take place."; Humming Chamber is west of Cage Room. "Once this was doubtless some kind of meeting hall. Rows of seats spiral outwards from a central podium where a speaker once stood to deliver speeches to a waiting audience. Many of the seats are smashed and little but splinters remain. Burn marks scar the foor and walls; in one place there is what appears to be a large quantity of books and scrolls that someone has attempted to burn but abandoned partway through. A faded tapestry is hanging on the section of wall furthest from the entrances. A faint humming [if the machine is in Humming Chamber]noise comes from the machine that has been revealed by moving the tapestry slightly[otherwise]sound can be heard, emanating from somewhere in the chamber. It sounds like there is a machine operating in here[end if].[p]A passage extends northwest and another to the east." Humming Room is in Movie Set. Instead of going northwest in Humming Chamber when the demon is not in the cage fixture or the cage fixture is not closed: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] needs to trap the demon before she can progress."; the tapestry is scenery in Humming Chamber. The description of tapestry is "The tapestry displays a devil-like creature in a cage, with a group of people dancing around it excitedly[note 52]." the podium is scenery in Humming Chamber. The description of podium is "The podium is the main feature situated in the centre of this room. It is one of the few objects that has survived the destruction." Understand "look behind [something]" as searching. Instead of searching tapestry: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] moves the tapestry to reveal a machine."; now the machine is in Humming Chamber; Instead of pushing tapestry: try searching tapestry. Instead of searching tapestry when machine is in Humming Chamber: try examining tapestry. demon is a person. the machine is a device. It is fixed in place and scenery. the machine is switched on. The description of machine is "The machine is the source of the humming noise. There isn't much to it, apart from a big switch on the side, which is currently in the [if machine is switched on]on[otherwise]off[end if] position." Carry out examining (this is the examine devices sensibly rule): if the noun is a device and the noun is not the machine begin; abide by the examine devices rule; end if; Carry out switching off the machine: now cage fixture is open; Carry out switching on the machine: now cage fixture is closed; Instead of switching on the machine when machine is switched off and demon is in the cage fixture: say "As Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] turns the switch on, a creaking noise can be heard to the east. Soon a scream of rage can be heard, with something then thumping against metal several times before giving up."; now cage fixture is closed; now machine is switched on; After switching on the machine: say "As Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] turns the switch on, a creaking noise can be heard to the east." After switching off the machine: say "As Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] turns the switch off, a creaking noise can be heard to the east." Instead of going east in Humming Chamber when the demon is in the cage fixture and the cage fixture is closed: say "The demon may be trapped, but he is still dangerous, so it is best not to walk back near the cage."; Instead of going east in Humming Chamber when the demon is in Cage Room: say "The demon is back there, so it is not a good idea." Blocked Passage is northwest of Humming Chamber. It is in Movie Set. "The ceiling has collapsed, blocking further access along this passage. On one wall is an opening that overlooks the outside world, with a window of a nearby building almost within jumping distance, but not quite. Unfortunately, the drop looks formidable and difficult to survive, so it is not a good idea to experiment. A roof overhangs the gap, with a horizontal beam that is supporting it also not quite within reach.[p]The passage leads back to the southeast." Instead of jumping in Blocked Passage: say "It is too far for Indianette Jones to jump or climb down."; Instead of going down in Blocked Passage: say "It is too far for Indianette Jones to jump or climb down."; the beam is scenery in Blocked Passage. The description of the beam is "The beam on this roof has been specially made to be a little sticky. The beam is out of reach for Indianette Jones to reach with her hands." Instead of using the whip on the beam: say "Indianette Jones[first time][indywhine][only] swings the end of her whip towards the beam, which it wraps around. Holding tightly to the whip she then swings across the gap straight through the window of the other building. She has escaped the demon and carried off the orb of one, but the action in the movie is not over yet. It is over for now though.[br]Finally this scene is finished and it only took [the gamecount of Take One] takes. You've had enough for one day. Maybe it will go better tomorrow, but you have the feeling that this is going to be a long process, especially with all the editing that will probably be needed. You are going to be very tired soon if you have to keep specifically ordering the actress around as well as your other duties.[br]Why are good[note 53] actresses so expensive?"; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with Take One; Instead of jumping in Blocked Passage when the player is springy: say "[co]Indy steps back a little, then abruptly sprints at the gap and launches herself at the window opposite. It's an impossible distance, but somehow she soars across the open space and plunges through the window without so much as brushing the sides.[/co][br]She has escaped the demon and carried off the orb of one, but the action in the movie is not over yet. It is over for now though.[br]Finally this scene is finished and it only took [the gamecount of Take One] takes. You've had enough for one day. Maybe it will go better tomorrow, but you have the feeling that this is going to be a long process, especially with all the editing that will probably be needed. You are going to be very tired soon if you have to keep specifically ordering the actress around as well as your other duties.[br]Why are good[note 53] actresses so expensive?"; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with Take One; the ceiling is a backdrop in Movie Set. The description of ceiling is "The ceiling is not in great condition, as the idea was that this scene took place in ruins." the walls are a backdrop in Movie Set. The description of walls is "The walls are not in great condition, as the idea was that this scene took place in ruins." Part 9 - The Snowman The Snowman is a game in startroom. The precis of The Snowman is "[set link 508][bold type]The Snowman[roman type][end link] by Caio Miranda (2007)". The description of The Snowman is "[b]The Snowman[/b][line break]by Caio Miranda[line break]2007[p]Development System: Inform 7[br]Forgiveness Rating: Polite[p][b]Renga in Blue[/b][br]The structural motif here is non-linearity. Rather than setting up a discrete set of puzzles, the author has placed in some characters and items and let things run loose. Most interesting is that the author nearly achieves emergent gameplay, and because of this the game is worth a look.[p][co]A little further investigation reveals that this came a close second to [/i]Snowblind Aces[i] in the Text the Halls TIGSource competition. Hunh.[/co][p][set link 528][b]Open it up.[/b][end link]". Carry out opening The Snowman: say "Dead link. A little poking around on TIGS reveals a Mediafire link, also dead. No further evidence of ever having lived elsewhere. [frustration][br]You were looking forwards to this one, too."; carry out the concluding activity with The Snowman; Part 10 - ARGH's Great Escape ARGH's Great Escape is an unentitled game in startroom. The precis of ARGH's is "[set link 509][b]ARGH's Great Escape[/b][end link] by Dana Crane[note 121] (2004)". The description of ARGH's is "[b]ARGH's Great Escape[/b] by Dana Crane[line break]Humor[br]2004[p]Development System: ADRIFT[p][co]No ratings, no reviews. Took part in the... Adrift competition 2004? Okay, ifwiki says that it was actually the ADRIFT 4th One Hour Comp 2004, where it placed second of sixteen.[first time] Gosh, a [/i]ranked[i] speed-IF? A ranked [/i]one-hour[i] speed-IF? That sounds kind of brutal.[only][p]Appears on one list:[/co] Games with stupid characters: 'The title character is stupid, if I recall correctly. I don't think it affects gameplay much, though. (It's been some time since I last played it.)' --David Welbourn.[p][set link 529][b]Open it up[/b][end link]." Understand "argh" as ARGH's. Carry out opening ARGH's: clear the screen; say "ow jesus fuck my *retinas* dammit fucking ADRIFT default colours KILL IT"; wait for any key; say "[p][b]ARGH's Great Escape[/b][p]You are ARGH. Proud caveman, aspiring inventor. You were recently jailed in Boulder Rock prison for your attempt to invent a circular device intended on making the moving of objects easier. While you had supporters, all kept quite out of fear of being placed in Boulder Rock; where no man ever leaves.[br]You know if you can escape this place and show everyone what your invention can do, that it would change the world and ease the work of every other caveman on earth."; now the player is in caveman cell; beavers invade in two turns from now; caveman cell is a room. "This is your cell, where you are doomed to spend the rest of your days because of your wild ideas. There isn't much for comfort here, and you didn't expect there would be. Bamboo rods keep you imprisoned in the small cave. A small hole, the size of a large dinosaur egg is located at the top of the cave. Unfortunately is much too high for you to reach, and too small for you to fit through." The saferoom of ARGH's is caveman cell. a drumstick is a thing in caveman cell. The description of drumstick is "It is a drumstick from a turkiosaur[note 122]. There is no telling how long it has been here, but it still has meat on it." The hisp of drumstick is "pierna de guajalotesaurio". Understand "pierna" or "guajalotesaurio" as drumstick. Instead of eating drumstick when the current game is ARGH's: say "You bring the drumstick up to your mouth, and are instantly positive that it is rancid. But you're very hungry so eat it anyway, and become very sick. You are rushed off to the infirmary to be cared for. Unfortuantely you have such an extreme case of food poisoning, there was nothing they could do."; wait for any key; deathify 20; now drumstick is in caveman cell; carry out the escaping activity with ARGH's; Instead of eating drumstick: say "[co]Right, because food poisoning is exactly what you need right now.[/co]" At the time when beavers invade: if the player is in caveman cell begin; say "Something from above catches your attention. A beaver falls through the hole in the top of the cave. He looks very hungry, and is looking at you intently."; bandname 7; now beaver is in caveman cell; end if; a beaver is a masc animal. beaver can be well or sick. beaver is well. The description of beaver is "[if well]The beaver is pacing around the cave, looking at you with hungry[note 123] eyes[otherwise]The beaver is looking very sick. It isn't moving, but you are sure it is still alive[end if]." Instead of riding the beaver: say "You like to ride the beaver as much as the next girl, but now really isn't the time[note 200]."; the fangs are part of beaver. fangs are an unimplement. The initial appearance of the beaver is "[if well]The beaver is circling around you, mashing his fangs[otherwise]Also here is a beaver[end if]." Rule for printing the name of sick beaver: say "sick beaver". The hisp of sick beaver is "castor enfermo". Understand "castor" or "enfermo" as sick beaver. bamboo rods are a scenery thing in caveman cell. The description of bamboo rods is "The rods are well built, and no caveman has ever escaped the Boulder Rock Prison. It lies to the south." Instead of attacking bamboo rods: if the player carries a sharp thing begin; let blade be a random sharp thing carried by the player; if the player is in caveman cell begin; say "Your [blade] would do the trick nicely, but the guards are too attentive here. Maybe if you could reach some other part of the prison."; otherwise; say "You swing [the blade] at the bamboo rods. Though sturdy, they were never intended to cope with steel blades, and you chop your way out in short order."; wait for any key; carry out the concluding activity with ARGH's; end if; otherwise; say "A guard comes in from out of nowhere and hits you over the head with a club.[br]'ARGH! No leave! No Noise!'[p]With your head spinning, you watch as the three guards (at least that is what you see) leave the cave, leaving you alone once again.'"; end if; bamboo rods can be gnawed or ungnawed. bamboo rods are ungnawed. hole is scenery in caveman cell. "The hole is about the size of a large dinosaur egg, but far to high for you to reach." Instead of giving the drumstick to the beaver: say "You hold the drumstick up to the beaver and are barely able to pull your arm away in time. He eats the drumstick in one bite, then looks to you for more. He leaps out toward you, but drops in midair. He looks to be very sick. He reminds you of the nurse you saw on your way in. Well, her hair, anyway."; remove the drumstick from play; now the beaver is sick; Instead of giving big log to the beaver: say "The beaver regards the log with the air of a gourmand who, having ordered the steak tartare, is presented with an off-ramp diner side-salad."; Instead of giving chopped logs to the beaver: say "The beaver regards the log with the air of a gourmand who, having ordered turducken, is presented with tabbouleh."; The portapet rule is listed instead of the can't take other people rule in the check taking rules. This is the portapet rule: if the noun is guard dog or noun is horse or noun is beaver begin; continue the action; otherwise; abide by the can't take other people rule; end if; Instead of going south in caveman cell: say "A guard comes in from out of nowhere and hits you over the head with a club.[p]'ARGH! No leave! No Noise!'[p]With your head spinning, you watch as the three guards (at least that is what you see) leave the cave, leaving you alone once again."; Instead of taking beaver: if the player wears mages cloak begin; say "You pick up the sick beaver. You suddenly get an idea. You throw yourself on the ground and start screaming. The guard quickly rushes in and notices that the drumstick is gone, the beaver is ailing, and you're dressed like a Disney wizard.[p]'Sorceror! Witchcraft!' he roars. If you thought the legal system here was intolerant of technical innovation, it was only because you hadn't seen how they deal with black magic. Spoiler: it involves large rocks. You die as you lived: ahistorically."; wait for any key; carry out the escaping activity with Great Escape; deathify 23; otherwise; if beaver is sick begin; say "You pick up the sick beaver. You suddenly get an idea. You throw yourself on the ground and start screaming. The guard quickly rushes in and notices that the drumstick is gone. He rushes you to the infirmary where you wait for the nurse to come back on duty."; now beaver is wearable; now the player is in infirmary; now bamboo rods is in infirmary; now the player carries the beaver; otherwise; say "ARGH! You can't pick up the beaver. He looks really angry, and very hungry!"; end if; end if; infirmary is a room. "This is the infirmary. Sure, no man ever leaves, but they have to give keep try to keep you alive. There is a cell door, much like the one to your cell, except this one leads to freedom. There is a slab, which the patient is to lie on, and a rock table nearby. A cubby hole in the wall, looks to be some sort of storage space." the rock table is scenery supporter in infirmary. "The rock is an odd shape, but has a flat surface." some medicine is on slab. The description of some medicine is "It looks like medication of some sort[note 129]." medicine is singular-named. The indefinite article of medicine is "some". The hisp of medicine is "medecina". Understand "medecina" as medicine. the slab is scenery in infirmary. "The slab is where the sick lie." the cubby hole is a scenery container in infirmary. "It looks like some sort of storage container." a nurse dress is a masc outfit in cubby hole. "It is a rather cavegirlish nurse uniform[note 128]." The hisp of nurse dress is "vestido de enfermera". Understand "vestido" or "enfermera" or "vestido de enfermera" as nurse dress. Instead of wearing the beaver: say "You plop the the sick beaver on your head. It looks like you have created the first caveman mullet!"; now the player wears the beaver; Instead of giving the medicine to the beaver: if the current game is ARGH's begin; say "You feed the beaver and bring him back to health. He still isn't feeling so hot, but manages to chew through the bamboo bars, making his escape."; now bamboo rods are gnawed; remove the beaver from play; otherwise; say "You dose the beaver up with medicine. Feeling instantly better, it bites you and escapes."; remove beaver from play; end if; Instead of going south when bamboo rods are gnawed and the current game is ARGH's: say "Making sure the coast is clear, you are able to escape the Boulder Rock Prison and are finally able to reveal your invention, which you named the Wheel. You not only become the most famous person in the world, you are also the only caveman to ever escape Boulder Rock Prison. Unfortunately you had a run in with that very same beaver a few years later which ended the life of ARGH. The beaver didn't have it so well either. He became very sick and also died. His fangs were mounted on the outside of Boulder Rock Prison in your honor."; carry out the concluding activity with ARGH's Great Escape;